So I am getting married in 39 days (unnecessary wedding plug again) and I have started to think about the loss of something that has been a part of me since before I was even born….my last name! Now, before I start, I am changing to T.’s last name. It is a good, simple last name and I love him and I am proud to change to his name. However, as we get closer to the big day and as people insist on pointing out the fact that my name will change I have begun to say to myself…self I think I really like our last name! A lot of my friends refer to me by my last name and ever since I was in school I have been referred to by using my last name or some form of my last name, especially when I played basketball and there were already 3 different Jen’s out there – thanks 70’s/80’s for naming everyone Jennifer!
It is defiantly going to be a switch and even writing his last name has no flow, unlike my current name!
Side Note: Yes I have practiced writing T.’s last name. We met exactly 6 years ago and started dating a couple months later which means (b/c I am a girl) I have been practicing writing his name for over 5 ½ years – that’s how we are!!!
And even after all this time and practice, I still can’t get use to writing his name! I also think about all the people who already know me with my current name and now have to refer to me as something else! I still forget that one of my best friends Abbie changed her name, I NEVER call her by her new married name and she has been married for over 2 years!!!
For me, THIS is the hardest thing about getting married! Children, finances, religion…we have almost all that figured out – but changing of thy name, they didn’t go over that in my Catholic Engaged Couples Conference! LOL
So even with all that said I will change my name and be SO happy that day when they pronounce us as Mr. And Mrs. T. H.! And I know there will be tears shed as we “start” our new married life and “leave” my old single life as well as my old name behind! My current last name is associated with my past and I am ready for my future! So it is with a tear in my eye and a smile on my face that I say to my last name "you were a good name and I shall remember you fondly as well as all the memories associated with you"!!
Adios mi nombre pasado!
(Goodbye my last name)
It was difficult to change my name...but I too love my new last name! While (nine months later) I am pretty proficient at writing it...saying it is still weird. Especially when I call somewhere that I know will definitely know me by my maiden name...
ReplyDeletebut, you'll get it, and it will be grand!
(I appreciated the spanish goodbye.)
ReplyDeleteMy dear bride,
This is definitely a tough issue. Remember, do what you want!
For me, the larger factor was that I want our family to have the same last name. I grew up in a blended household where 3 or more last names was the norm. When we married, I wanted uniformity. :-)
I quite like my last name. I miss my old one, though. Especially when I think that YOU and so many others never even knew me by my maiden (which sounds like I'm old) name.
That is why all of my magazine subscriptions and my library card boast, "Kylee P.," not "Kylee
B."
:-)
Oh - last two cents. (I'm long-winded today, I'm sorry.) The name-changing process really isn't that difficult. Some newly married women complain that it's SUCH a big deal - whatev. Totally easy and painless.
I definitely understand how you're feeling with the whole last name thing... There wasn't really a doubt in my mind that I would change my name when I got married, but it still caused me to get a little sad for whatever reason.
ReplyDeleteNow, about six months after the fact, I do really love my last name (even though most people think it's downright silly upon hearing it for the first time...). I still tend to forget sometimes though when I'm writing it.
Remember that just because your last name is changing, you're still the same wonderful J.P. we all know and love!
Well, being the only non-married person to post thus far, I can't speak from experience, but I think your trepidation is warranted. I'm sure it's not easy to let go of something that you've known for a significant amount of time, something that's identified you. But, by changing your last name, you're certainly not giving up who you are, you are identifying yourself as a person who has made a commitment to love.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think changing your name because of love is a beautiful thing.
Just my humble opinion.