Thursday, July 29, 2010

Terry-ism: Reason # 1,487 Why I LOVE This Man

I came home the other day after work to see Terry chill’n (yes chill'n, not chilling) on the couch watching TV. I sit down beside him and notice he is watching Bewitched circa Darrin #2 and the following conversation takes place:

Me: “Watching Bewitched, huh?”
T: “No.”
Me: “Terry I see it on the TV, what do you mean you are not watching it?”
T: “I was really watching this.” Switches to a different channel.
Me: “What is this?”
T: “Charmed. Bewitched is my back up channel for when there are commercials.”

The conversation basically ended there because all I could really do was smile. Yes my long haired, metal head husband watches Charmed & Bewitched. It has been 10 years together and he is still an enigma to me.

I love you Terry.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!"

(Anyone guess what famous TV show that quote is from? Mickey D. I know will get it!)

So I went to the movie theater a couple weekends ago and I was flabbergasted…yes flabbergasted to see there were NO Junior Mints being sold at the concession stand. (Pause for audible gasp from readers) Now I prefer salty foods over sweet foods, but do enjoy the occasional sweet treat…..especially at the movie theater. So when I go to a big chain theater where I pay $8 to get in during the day and see a piss poor selection of candy I feel it is my responsibility, nah, duty to my fellow Americans to point out this travesty.

In my opinion there are 5 candies that I feel are true movie theater candies and should be available at every theater AT ALL TIMES…no questions asked and Junior Mints are most definitely one of those candies. Now I do not necessarily like all these candies, but if I had* to pick just five, then in my mind these are the candies. (*Who said I had to pick just five? Me. I like lists. Preferably Top 5 lists. See High Fidelity….you will understand.)

The Top 5 Candies That Should Be Required BY LAW To Be At EVERY Movie Theater In The World.

1. Junior Mints
2. Sno-Caps
3. Reese’s Pieces
4. Gummi Worms or Bears
5. Sour Patch Kids

Now as we live in a country where it seems even our options have options I feel it should be good to also have on hand all or any of the following: Twizzlers, Sweet-Tarts, Skittles, Sweedish Fish, M&M’s, & Whoppers as they too are wonderful movie theater candy. There can be a sub-law for these candies.

The theater I went to had a few of these candies, but not all. No instead my options were some Wonka Bars…which are very delicious but NOT a movie theater candy; Cookie Dough bites…WTF are those?!; Some fancy chocolates which I will not even acknowledge as movie theater candy; and a few other jank-ass candies I have never seen before because I most likely choose to overlook them on the basis that they suck. I mean REALLY, these are the candies you are going with? I was very underwhelmed.

If I am going to pay $4 a bag for $1.50 worth of candy I don’t want any of this new age candy crap, I want the classics. Now true, I could sneak my candy in like many people but I have to say that in the off chance I do want candy there is just something childlike and nostalgic about peering into the glass windows where the candy is so beautifully displayed that makes me want to get my candy there instead of just pulling half melted candy out of my purse. However, peering into a glass cabinet seeing nothing more than some random product placement candy put there by the higher ups within this theater’s corporate juggernaut marketing department who know not a thing about what great candy is because they are too busy sipping on their wheatgrass and kissing each others arses does nothing more than make me annoyed and unwilling to compromise on my candy morals (not to be confused with candy morsels).

Overall I was very disappointed that Junior Mints were not even an option (also not an option Reese’s Pieces, Sour Patch Kids, Twizzlers, Sweedish Fish, & Whoppers), especially at a place that serves multiple flavors of ice cream, iced coffee, pizza, chili cheese fries, and a variety of other junk foods that while good are not conducive to the movie watching experience. I mean seriously – popcorn, candy and pop should be more than enough! I think that their priorities are just not right.


So what are your favorite movie theater candies?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Movie Review – Inception

Here, is my review of Inception. GO SEE IT.

Don’t ask any questions. Don’t over think it. Don’t wait for it to come out on DVD. Just go see it and thank me later for pushing you to see it.

Seriously, I was not sure about this movie at all. I wanted to see it because it looked interesting and I like Christopher Nolan but honestly, I thought it would be a huge disappointment. But it wasn’t. I thought it wouldn’t make sense, but it did (though you really DO have to pay attention and be open to the story line.)

As simply as I can explain it…it was ORIGINAL. It was not a sequel to something, not based on a book or comic book, it was not a retelling of something else. It was simply an original movie that made you think. It may not be for everyone, but I think everyone can appreciate what this movie does and how entertaining it truly is.

I don’t want to build it up anymore so I am going to stop right here in the hopes that I have said enough to convince you to go see it.

RATING: Jumbo Popcorn w/ salt and extra butter, Jumbo Mountain Dew, your favorite candy, and share pretzel bites with cheese.

T & I have our movie rating scale. The H-Plus Rating Scale.

If you HAVE seen it, please let me know your thoughts in the comments. However, try not to give the end away just incase people do read the comments section.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Is My Husband Trying to Kill Me?!

Ok, for the record I am very certain my husband is not trying to kill me, however I would not be surprised if he is trying subconsciously to have me take off a few appendages.

Last week Terry came home with a “present” for me. It was a rather large pocket knife. What I have always wanted. When it is out in its full glory it is about an 8 1/2” long & 1” wide (hey oooooooh) pocket knife that on the handle also has one of those knobby things (technical terminology) that breaks through your car windows. He said he got it for me for my safety, which I would agree with if it wasn’t for the fact that I am incredibly clumsy. Seriously, my parents call me Grace and it is actually pronounced with a hint of sarcasm over the long A and prefaced with “way to go”. So because my husband knows I absolutely can NOT walk down a hall without at least bouncing off one of the walls or objects in the hall along the way, I don’t see how he can even think for a moment that giving me a knife is a good thing. Well unless of course he wants me to take off a few un-needed appendages.

Example. Sunday I went to Rite Aid to pick up a few things for the house. While there I found a cute headband and decided to purchase said headband. When I got in the car I noticed the headband was tied to a cardboard holder with industrial strength, government approved, Area 51 tested plastic. There was no getting this headband free with my weak little hands. But wait, I have a knife in my car….let me use that. Now before we go further and to remove any unnecessary suspense…yes I have all my fingers & toes and no blood was drawn.

So, I easily opened my knife and sawed my way through the packaging and was very proud that I didn’t hurt myself…..but figuring out how to close the knife was where things got tricky. I first tried to just bend it down – nope. Tried squeezing parts of the knife thinking it would unlock it – nope. Pushed anything that looked like a button on the knife and handle – nope. Tried hitting the back of the knife on the floor of my car thinking I just needed more force – nope. Seriously, I sat there for 5 minutes thinking what the hell I should do with this knife all awhile envisioning the many ways I could cut off a finger or stab myself in my attempts to close this knife. For a brief moment I thought I would drive with the knife open and let Terry close it at home, but as quickly as that thought came into my head so did the thought that I would slam on my brakes while driving and the knife would wiggle its way out from under my purse, fly in the air, and stab me. So I quickly nixed that idea for very obvious safety reasons. I also wondered if I could try to see if someone could help me, but was afraid that a suspicious looking girl with a knife might yield a scared response and not the helpful one I was looking for. And I didn’t want to call Terry, because honestly I didn’t want to let him know I was on to his plan….it is just better that way.

So I sat in my car in the Rite-Aid parking lot just looking at this knife (in the most inconspicuous way possible of course) trying to figure out how the hell to close this damn thing. And then I see it. At the base of the blade this little piece of metal I can push in WITH MY FINGER to release the lock and then push the blade down at the same time with my other hand just like a  little finger guillotine. Riiiiight. Tricky and again just another attempt for T. to get me to chop off my fingers. But alas, I got it closed and safely put away with absolutely no bloodshed. IN YOUR FACE TERRY!

I feel more comfortable with my knife at the moment, and by more comfortable I mean comfortable for someone who is clumsy, doesn’t like weapons and is pretty certain that I will one day draw blood but not actually cut off an entire finger with this knife. My husband also wants me to take gun classes so in a year when he moves away to school I will be safe…..riiiiiight again. I think instead of gun classes I am going to start with the ancient art of Karate and just get me some nunchucks instead.  I can just practice that on the Wii.

Ok, so maybe he isn’t technically trying to hurt me either….but come on it does seem just a little suspicious.

P.S. Looked....I blogged! Seriously it has been over a month!