A Post For The Times When It Is "Just Too Much".

Last night we were awoken by that cough.  Parents, you know the one I am talking about.  At first you hear it as you are balancing in between reality and dreamland and are hoping that perhaps it was a dream and maybe a good dream, like one about going to the Zoo to visit a seal!

But no.

You hear it again and quickly sit up, knowing he is awake and his tears will soon follow and so will your morning...at 1:00am.

Luckily you have been through it before so you and your partner are on auto-pilot and just do what you need to do.  There are tears (yet you remain strong) there is screaming and hitting (yet you remain calm) there is lack of sleep (yet you remain awake) and after a few hours he is back asleep and you are laying in bed and the emotions just come rushing out.

You think those words that make you feel so alone....

"It is just too much".

You are annoyed and mad and frustrated and sad and feel helpless.

Now this...on top of everything else going on and everything I have been feeling.  Now my son is sick.  Now I worry more than I normally do about him. (Which is already a lot!)

BUT...you have been trying to be better.  Be positive.  Have perspective.

So you acknowledge the fact that you remained calmed and where a good mom and your little boy is comfortably back to sleep and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself...and soon you head back to dreamland for a couple hours.

Now, there is a point....just a little longer folks.

A little while later I am sitting at lunch, surprisingly not as tired as I thought I would be on just a few hours of sleep.

I want something mindless so I go to people.com and skim past all the BS (I don't care about Miley and her costume, People.com!!!) and I see this story.  A real story.  I story worth writing and reading.  HERE.

It is about these two who were dating in college when a horrible accident happened, leaving her boyfriend with traumatic brain injury.  They had only been dating 10 months and she could have left him knowing that the dreams she had may never be met.  But she stayed. And they got married a few years later.  There is a video...it is sweet.

I normally just skim quickly though these stories, but something drew me in.  Made me read and read again.  And then I noticed she had a blog and I clicked on it.  This selfless person had my curiosity.  Something made me want to read more about her story...folks, I never read more about these stories and am always just on to the next.

But I clicked and the first thing that caught my eye wasn't the first blog post but I blog entitled "For the days That Are Too Much".  HERE.

You have my attention.

It was a short blog and I read these words and instantly my eyes teared up (part of post below):

These are the days that feel like too much, that this isn't what I asked for because stress brought from the little just reminds me of the bigger losses I have.

But then there are the sweet gifts, like the new book in the mail that will show me god. The three hours by the fire with a girlfriend and his smile when I come into the room late. 

The fire and the conversation with her and the staying up late with him is worth it. Because those are the moments where I get to live and breathe.

Those are the moments where I see God filling me up, filling my emptiness.

I NEEDED to hear this.  You have no idea how much I needed to hear this.

It is more than my child getting sick.  So much more.  Nothing horrible, we are all OK and in good health.  Infact, this post isn't intended to say "i am sorry Jenn I hope you feel better", it is sort of the opposite as it is encouraging me to stay strong.

But I think we can all agree we go through ups and downs.  Life gets tough.  There are stresses.  There are things we could never in a million years plan for (good and bad).  Feelings we hate feeling.  Days we are not at our best.  Moments we question our self.  Times we just want to curl up in a ball and fade away into a different place in our mind...even just for a moment.   Days where it just feels too much.

And what do we do during these times?  We focus on all that is going wrong.  All the bad we feel.  All that we cannot change but want to.  All that makes us feel even more alone and like we are not good enough.  All that makes us want to yell and scream and cry.  (Which those are our feelings and it it OK until it is not OK.)  And soon we find we are lost and trying to figure out how to get back.  How to gain perspective.  How to be ME again.

What I am realizing, though, is just when you feel alone and you don't know how you are ever going to get better and find yourself......you find it.

Perspective.

Hope.

Reassurance that you are not alone.

Something truly inspiring.  Something that makes you feel better.  Something that gives you hope and confidence.  Someone who makes you open up and talk about what is wrong so that you can BE better.

As many times as I may question it, sometimes I think the universe really does have your back.  Sending you a friend at just the right moment to talk to or making you click a link you would normally just overlook or giving you a confidant you can share anything with without feeling judged or wrong in your feelings.  

Reminding you that you are NOT alone.  That others struggle and overcome and you can too.  That even though we all feel down sometimes, there is SO much to live for and be happy about.

It gave me perspective.

And while I know I have more to figure out and further to go with feeling better; admitting, opening up and remaining positive are key.  Just taking it one day at a time and just TRYING each day to be better and knowing it is OK to have bad days as long as there are also plenty of good ones.

Yeah, i got ALL that from the post.  You may not, but I did.  It may not make sense to you, but it does to me.  And I need to remember that I did gain some perspective from this post.  You know, for that time in the future (and there will be a time) where I need to be reminded of this again.

I needed to hear this today and I KNOW there are others who may possibly need to hear this too.  So I am sending this back into the universe in hopes it finds those who are also having a rough day, week, month, year or just feeling lost and need a little perspective or just want to read a good love story to put a smile on their face!

A simple and inspiring story about love and hardship and dedication and persevering through those struggles.  A reminder that no matter how tough it may seem and when you just feel it is too much that sometimes right around the corner there are those moments that give us hope, make us feel loved, and remind us we are not alone....no matter what we are going through.

Talk to Me - Getting Older

I totally acknowledge this post may come off as vain or like I am complaining, even though I am trying to make it fairly light and funny.  However, I don’t know of any woman who likes the changes that happen to our bodies as we age and especially changes post kid.  And what is even more frustrating is men seem to get younger looking as they age which makes women look even more broke down as they get older even if that is NOT the case and they look great.  Feminist….back off!!  So I am not complaining (maybe a little) because I am OK with getting older, I am just not OK with looking the same age as my husband who is 7 years older and having more facial hair then my husband...

Ok Ladies (and men if any read this blog) let’s talk getting older.  Specifically, getting older and your look.

Now let me preface and say by NO MEANS do I think I am old, but I also think I am reaching the age where I can no longer deny the fact that I am getting older and things are changing and I am looking older.  My body is changing.  My look is changing.  I feel different and am noticing things I have never noticed before.  And the last time I went to the store I wasn’t carded and she just put in a random birthday, so there is that...

Now I never thought I was someone who cared about my appearance.  I very rarely wear make-up, I don’t use lotions and creams, I wear my hair up and messy about 96% of the time, my clothes…well you could say they are dated and ill fitting, I get a haircut once or twice a year, and if I don’t like the way I look I just don’t go out in public….which is OK with me. 

I mean honestly, it is too bad that What Not To Wear is ending because I probably could benefit from a makeover.  But I just have not put too much effort into my appearance, which I think can be good and bad.   I probably should have made a little more effort over the years, I just always felt uncomfortable with beauty and fashion.  Perhaps it was because for so much of my life I tried to go unnoticed by my peers, just blend into the background, that for me to wear makeup or fashionable clothing I feel like it would draw too much attention to myself and that makes me uncomfortable.  Though I totally get that by NOT doing those things I am also drawing attention to myself, but it is hard to argue with crazy person logic!!

So what does this have to do with changes in my look and getting older?!?!

Well, now that I am getting older I am finding it harder to continue the way I have all these years.  I am thinking I need help.  I need to hide stuff.  Cover things up.  

So what is changing, you ask.  Well let me tell you.

1. I am growing a beard.  Ok, maybe not like this…

….but I have so many little dark and light hairs on my chin.  I am going to be that lady that has one really long hair growing on her neck that I don’t see but everyone else sees it and stares at it and thinks “WHY WON’T SHE PLUCK IT” but they never say anything and it is the big elephant hair in the room that no one talks about.  UGH.

I am seriously obsessed with trying to pluck every hair and I feel like they are just multiplying and it is so frustrating.  I know that most people don’t get close enough to me to really see them, but I see them and know they are there and on really sunny days there is no hiding them.  Dim lighting is my friend.

2. I have been getting pimples. Yep, 33 and breaking out on my face and my back like I was 15 years old boy!!  I have been lucky that I have not had a huge problem with pimples in the past, but apparently now it is an issue.  Sure hormones and stress can be a cause, but it is just weird and annoying that now I am breaking out.

3. My skin.  Yes, in general my skin is changing.  It isn’t as taut as it once was.  It is blotchy and dull and just blah.  I have circles under my eyes the size of half dollars and my once wrinkle free forehead now contains a crevasse that I feel I could store my change in.  And just wait until the winter months….I will turn my head and half of my face will flake off!  Awesome.  

4. Hair.  Besides losing tons of hair on a daily basis, I am also the proud owner of grey hair.  After I had Henry I found my first grey hair.  I heard that happened post pregnancy so of course like any normal person I quickly pulled it out and denied that it even had happened.  And all was good.  Until this weekend when I saw this…..

Grey hairs!!!!  WTF?!?!  When did those get there?!  If having blotchy skin, pimples, and a beard wasn’t enough, now I have grey hairSSSS?!  I really thought that being grey free was the one thing I had going for me, the one thing that didn’t make me feel like I was getting older.  And then I was bitch slapped by a stray coarse grey hair and reminded that, yes Jenn, you are aging. 

5. Boobs. All I am going to say about this is that boobs post kid fuck’n SUCK.  Pardon my language, but your boobs should hit you in the face when you jump, not smack you in the vagina or rest comfortably on the post baby jelly belly you still have.  But I still have hope for this as I promised Terry that when we were in a better place financially I would get a boob lift and he can get a ball lift.  :-) So there is hope!!!

6. Body.  My body is just different.  Things are jiggling more and sagging more and clothes just fit weird.  And I just feel at this in between with clothes.  Like, what is appropriate and what doesn’t make me look old but what also doesn’t make me look like I am trying too hard or trying to look like my 25 year old sister.  I know working out would help some of this.  I will get on that.  

There is also just things creaking and snapping that shouldn’t make noise and haven’t in the past.  Or soreness that I have never had before.  Like today with the weather, I feel and sound like a 90 year old!  And don’t get me started on things happening below the belt.  That is just a hot mess.  Probably literally. Sigh.

Someone at work told me some of this could because I am off birth control and haven’t been on it for 4+ years and my hormones are just a crazy mess and that is what is causing some of these issues. WHAT, YOU THINK ME AND MY HORMONES ARE A CRAZY MESS?!?!  YOUR HORMONES ARE A CRAZY MESS!!! 

She may be right…..

And while she may be right and getting my hormones readjusted may help a little with some things, I think I have to face the reality that with each decade I enter things change and therefore I need to adjust. 

First adjustment is signing up for AARP and bingo night at the senior center Fridays at 6:30. 

Second is taking care of my skin. I have always said I need to do this, but just hate the feeling of anything on my face.  But it is more than apparent that I need something now.  I am looking at different lotions for my face. (What do you use?!?!)  I also think my first trip to a dermatologist may be good.

Third, I need to lose weight.  Mostly for health, but I also think if I can be happy with my weight I will be happier with my overall appearance.

As for my beard, well I am still trying to figure that one out….

I know that aging is inevitable and though it may not sound like it and this post has sounded totally vain, I think I am OK with getting older.  I am just not OK with all these things that seem to be showing up all at once that make me feel older than what I am.  I mean, can’t I just have ONE of these as a problem?!

Talk to me!!  This is the face of someone who needs advice!!  And some strong moisturizer.  And her bangs cut. And some concealer.

What do YOU do in regards to aging?  Deny it?  Use lots of lotions and potions?  Seek help from a witch doctor?  Use natural remedies?  Take lots of vitamins and supplements?  Stay indoors and avoid all mirrors or reflective services?! All of the above?

Talk To Me….Are Blogs Becoming a Thing of The Past?!

I don’t know exactly where I am going with this post or if there is even a point.  I think I am just “talking” out loud on the blog.  Opening the door for communication.

So for the past 2 ½ years or so, blogging for me has been low.  Between work and having Henry and random life stresses, things got in the way and my ability/desire/time/creativeness to blog decreased tremendously.  Sometimes I have wanted to be away from the blogs, but more often than not I just have been too wrapped up in myself and family and work and stresses to even compile an understandable blog post to write down.  Seriously, you should read some of the drafts I have saved; they make zero sense and are nothing more than random ramblings! (That should be my new blog!)  :-) 

I know for me the battle between finding time and finding something interesting to post about are a constant struggle.  (What, you are telling me you wouldn’t get bored seeing daily pictures of my child or cats?!?!)  I look back at some of my old blog posts and I thoroughly enjoyed writing them and thought they totally reflected me at that time in my life, and let’s be honest…..were  pretty darn funny!  Maybe it was because I knew there was an audience who “got me” or perhaps I just had more time or perhaps blogging was new and the only social media in my life and I just enjoyed it more.  But, after 7 years of blogging (first post July 25, 2006!!) I just feel a bit lost when it comes to blogging.  Besides the time and energy it takes that I am just not always as willing to give I have thoughts go through my head: “have I written all this before, are you tired of hearing my rants, tired of seeing my kid, is there anything new to talk about?!?!”

But it doesn’t seem like it is just me who has slowed down (or even stopped) blogging.  It seems like the frequency to which many of us post or comment has become less over the past couple years.  Sometimes a few days go by without a blog post, where as I recall in the past barely being able to keep up with all the bloggers and their posts!!

I know sometimes I will read posts but may not comment at the time or refuse to comment from my phone (loathe typing on my phone) and then just forget to comment.  Or I see that many people are not commenting so I don’t post anything new on my blog.  I think this is common for others.  I think when posts are low and comments received become less frequent, the motivation to post more decreases because let’s be honest…..while we do post some things for just ourselves, there are other posts we are writing to share and receive feedback and acknowledgement.

And I can’t help but wonder….is it just our age and the points we are at in our lives that has caused us to turn our attention away from blogging?!  For me personally, seven years ago (at the young age of 26) I didn’t have a kid, wasn’t married yet, didn’t have a house, wasn’t trying to balance a husband in school and work with my work, there were fewer additional stresses…..really life was centered around only myself.  And that is OK!  If I wanted to come home and nap after work I did.  If I wanted to blog I did.  I was a few years out of college, had a great job, new friends and was coming out of my shell.  I had plenty to say about everything!  Now, other things/people take up much of my time.  Even if a child wasn’t in the picture, I know I would still be giving more in other areas of my life and the motivation to blog would decrease.

So is it as simple as life just got busier for us when we got into our 30’s and that is why blogging has decreased?!  Or is it something else?

Many times I also wonder if people move on to other types of social media.  Blogging does require a bit more time and now there are many more avenues out there to be a part of and allow us to socialize with others.  So has the ease and quickness of things like twitter, facebook and instagram provided us with that instant communication and gratification from social media that we desire, without having to put the time into a long blog post. A “like” or a “heart” on a status or picture still provides both parties with that curiousness, sharing, and acknowledgement that we are looking for without asking others to make too much of a fuss and without us having to spend too much time posting it.

I know for me, I have started (reluctantly) moving to easier outlets (damn you instagram), especially when things get busy or I am on the go.  

But don’t get me wrong, I love blogging.  I love having this “journal” to look back on.  I like to be wordy (obviously) and I adore the relationships I have made through these blogs the past 7 years as well as the relationships that have continued to grow through the blogs.  I love not having status updates all the time, links to things I don't care about, pictures of things I am suppose to like if I care about others, people's political views (UGH).  

But sometimes, you still want the relationship and communication with those individuals without all the fuss.  And now that relationships have been made, communication outside of social media is happening and therefore maybe it isn’t always necessary to seek advice on the blogs when I can just send an email or get together.  The thing is, you KNOW these people now.  You may see them outside the internet in the real world!! You may even care for many of them and have a vested interest in their lives and family.  You have moved past the creepy stalker stage and the courting stage and truly have formed friendships with these people.  So because of that, maybe your only communication with them isn’t just on the blog now….like perhaps it was before and therefore the desire to blog as frequently has declined.

Or maybe…..Yes, I have lots of "maybe's".... 

Maybe sometimes we all just need to step away.  Perhaps because we DO put ourselves out there so much on blogs, instagram, twitter, facebook, LinkedIn, text messages, emails, and the tons of other things we get involved with that maybe something has to give.  Maybe at some point we STOP sharing so much and take pleasure in in our privacy.  Sometimes I just have to STEP AWAY from technology and social media.  Between sitting at a desk infront of a computer for 9 hours a day and then having a stupid smart phone, both that gives me easy access to the internet, I just constantly feel CONNECTED.  Connected to everyone and everything and what is going on with everyone that I “follow” every minute of every day.  And sometimes, I want to be disconnected.  I NEED to be disconnected.  I think it is too much for my brain….my brain actually feels like mush by the end of the week that by the time the weekend comes around I just want to be disconnected from everything and everyone!!   I feel a struggle between my urge to know what people are up to and the need to ignore it and focus on just myself, even if it is just for a little bit.

Or could it even possibly be as simple as the fact that I have grown and now my blog needs to grow and evolve and reflect who I am now and since it hasn't, that is why I feel a disconnect to it.

Perhaps the lack of blogging is a combination of everything. 

Perhaps it is none of the above and nothing more than the fact that blogging is a passing fad, and like all fads and many things in today’s society, they fade away when something newer comes along.

Perhaps this entire post was me just rambling because my brain has turned into mush from all the access I have to technology and people and knowledge and random information that I just need to write it all down in an attempt to reboot and make room in the jumbled mess that is my mind!

Perhaps it means I miss this blog.  That I miss blogging.  That I miss the interaction I have with friends and sharing my thoughts….as random as they may be. (I do miss blogging.)

Perhaps it is also the realization that I need to find a balance between technology, social media, and life that I seem to be lacking.  Something has to give.  I need to find the outlets that make me happy, but I don’t need to do it all nor stay connected all the time. 

Perhaps I should ask YOU what you think!!

Do you blog regularly? Comment regularly?  Do you find you have more/less/same amount of time to blog now than when you started?  Do you prefer other social media outlets over blogging?  

SO. MUCH. STUFF.

Lets talk about stuff, shall we.

I feel our house is always in disarray.  ALWAYS.  

(I should be embarrassed posting these, but it is just the way it is.  

Finding time to clean just always isn’t my priority or always easy to do.  

Granted, I should make time for it, but I don’t always do that when things get busy. This was from this weekend.)

Toys everywhere, dishes always in the sink, goldfish crackers all over the dang house, laundry always needing done, clutter stacking up.   

I sometimes get frustrated/envious when I see other people's homes on FB (who have kids) and their houses look so clean and organized.  HOW?!  That can't be real!!!  Nope. I don't believe your house looks like that...only that small corner where you took the picture.  Well, that is at least what I say to myself so I don't feel so bad about my house :)   

And while I know my house will always be in some sort of disarray because that is my reality, I do feel we have too much stuff which isn’t helping the clutter situation.

Before Henry was born we had lots of stuff and we wanted to have a garage sale to get rid of said stuff.  But we didn’t.  Why? Because putting a garage sale together is annoying and we procrastinated because we thought maybe the garage sale would just plan itself….or at the least little elves would magically get it ready for us.  Stupid elves never showed up.

So then Henry was born and we got even MORE stuff.  Too much stuff.  An amount of stuff we never anticipated.

Stuff in the living room.

Stuff in the dining room.

Stuff on the stairs.

Stuff oozing from the closets.

Stuff under beds, on beds, beside beds.

Stuff in the basement.

Stuff in the storage unit.

Stuff under more stuff that is on top of other stuff.

So much stuff everywhere.  

EVERYWHERE.

And frankly, we are tired of all this stuff.  I am tired of looking at it.  I am tired of rearranging it.  I am tired of storing it and paying to store it.  I am tired of trying to hide it.  I am tired of the fact that we have SO much stuff everywhere you look.

And Folks, it is just STUFF.  Most of it isn’t important or of any value or are things I felt I needed to keep to use “someday”....well "someday" has been here and is long gone.  You know those type of things I am talking about, right?! Boxes of papers/cards kept over the year.  Tons of clothes that either don’t fit (but some day will….right) or are outdated. Knick knacks, paddywhacks*, and other odds and ends just stuffed in boxes over the years.  Gifts that have been given that are just stored away.  Things that I have appreciated getting or felt over the years were worth keeping but are now taking up space.  Duplicate items from when Terry and I moved in together many years ago that were just put away as “back-up” items. 

But now, now they must go.

Why, because there is no room.  Our house is small and made even smaller by the apparent thousand items it takes to raise one child.  Because if we haven’t used them in the past couple years (minus a handful of sentimental items of course) then we don’t need it and it is doing nothing more than taking up space.  Because Terry and I need to declutter and simplify as I think being surrounded by so much stuff sorta brings you down and keeps your mind in a state of “clutter”.  Because even Henry doesn’t know what to play with at times because he has so much stuff and there is no reason for a kid to have more than his parents!

So we are officially planning and preparing for our FIRST garage sale together.  Which means we have eight years of combined stuff since living together and thirteen years of stuff saved as a couple.  Stuff from when I moved here and started college in 1998 through living on my own.  And at least 20 years of stuff since Terry has been living on his own.  Which means, our house is messier now that it has ever been. 

(Bags of clothes in our room waiting for the garage sale.  Yeah, those aren’t in the way at all.)

Stuff starting to pile up in the garage for the sale....want anything?!?! :-)

But to declutter you sometimes have to create a mess…..right?!?!  That is what I keep telling myself.  I will say this, whatever doesn’t sell is up for grabs and/or going to the Goodwill.  WE DON’T WANT IT.

I really think we need to start simplifying what we have in our lives.  We do not need so much stuff.  I admit, T & I are both packrats to a point and I am very sentimental so EVERYTHING has some sort of sentimental attachment….. “oh this is the pen I used to write the first love note to terry.  Or maybe it isn’t, but it could be.”  Really, Jenn.  I need to start choosing what is really worth keeping and say “see ya” to everything else.  Keep it simple and streamlined and organized and maybe the mind I feeling I am losing will become more streamlined and organized :) Well, that is the plan!!

Talk to me…..do you feel you have too much stuff?!  How do you remedy that?  And what about garage sales, do you have one regularly?!

*Read what a paddywhack is here.  Ew.

I JUST WANT A PHONE!!!

This is a long rant. I am sorry.

 

Our cell phone plan is up this week so T & I decided to take a look this past weekend and see what new-age fangled contraptions are out there now.  So we walk into the Verizon store in P’Burg, look around and wonder "where are all the phones"!  Seriously, the ONLY phones out were Droids and iPhones or basically the so-called smartphones.  That is it.  Somewhat jokingly I asked the person working there "so did you stop selling real phones?"  To which he responded to me in his arrogant tone and as he judgingly looked both T & I up and down said "those regular phones, we keep those in the back". Really, you had to hear how he said it….grrrrr.

Uh, OK?!

I asked if we could browse those phones to which I was told we should really look online and see what we want and then come back and they can pull them from the back room for us.

Uh, OK?!

I really wanted to tell him to pull ALL the phones and then I would tell him where he could put them.  But I controlled myself.

Both Terry and I decided we were in no mood to deal with the cocky attitude of the sales people at Verizon, have them try to talk us into phones we didn't want, or try to figure out what phones we wanted to look at without being able to look at phones.  We just wanted to browse their inventory, but apparently the out-dated inventory we were interested in was not good enough to be kept with the "cool" phones.  So of course we left.

It kind felt as we left that companies are now just pushing for these “fancy” phones and forgetting about the everyday person who A) may just want a regular phone or B) cannot afford the cool phones with the expensive monthly plans?!  And why are the dorky phones not allowed to hang out with the cool phones anymore?!  I feel like it is high school all over again. 

Honestly, that is how I have picked the last 3 or 4 cell phones I have had.  Just go in and physically SEE what I want.  I hold them, mess around with them and see which is best.  Now I have to go online and make a list of ones I want to see?! Yeah….I don’t really like that option.

T & I rather passionately talked about it on the way home, about where phones & the phone companies are today and how it is sorta ridiculous.  And this is by NO MEANS about people who buy these phones, (please please please as I get on a soapbox don’t think that).  It is about how these companies are forcing us to have these phones and changing the phones so quickly that we have no choice but to fall into getting these more advanced phones.  And of course once you have one, you never want to go back….that is how they get you!

YES, I will admit that having the internet on my phone would be cool.  And YES there are apps that are awesome and helpful to have.  And YES, if it didn't cost an arm and a leg and our first born to buy these phones then pay for all the add-ons and have to be forced to pay higher monthly costs to have features like internet that are required, we would get the “cool” phone.  But also, at the end of the day I know that if I have many of these features on my phone, I will just be on my phone…..constantly.  And I don't want to be on my phone all the time.  I sit in front of a computer with internet for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week at work.  I then have a computer at home with internet that I sit in front of.  But do I really want to be forced to PAY to be connected with the world all the time on my phone too?!

No, actually I don't.

And it sucks because T & I went back to a different Verizon store last night in hopes of a better outcome and it actually annoyed us more. 

Here are the facts:

They told us that if we got a smartphone we HAD to spend $29.95 a month on EACH phone for the unlimited data plan.  (P.S. I JUST read this morning that there are rumors that on July 7^th they will drop the unlimited data plan.  “Droid-Life lists pricing, starting at 2 GB for $30/month and going up to 10 GB for $80/month. Adding tethering gives an additional $2 GB and an additional $20. So for example, 4 GB with tethering will cost $50/month. Additional data will cost $10/GB. Whereas currently you get unlimited for $30.”  Don’t know if this is true or if it affects only new customers.  Article HERE.) The unlimited data plan would include the internet and apparently something with downloading apps.  We also have to pay $10 each per phone on top of our standard phone pricing for unlimited texting in the network and 500 out of network.  So on top of the $79.99-$200.00 each we would have to pay to even GET a phone, we are now looking at another $40 per phone additional EACH MONTH so we can text and be online.  And let’s remember that even if we do not want to be online, we still have to PAY for that feature.

So just get a regular cell phone you say.  Well T & I are not at ALL opposed to doing that, infact we would love to do that.  However, the standard phones suck because they are making these standard phones less and less available to people and they seem very mediocre.  Even when I begrudgingly got online at home and looked at the phones available to me and asked to see some at the store, I thought they were not nearly as good as the ones that were out 2 years ago.  Like they just gave up with making better “plain” phones and are only enhancing the “cool” phones.  Granted, I may not want the most state of the art phone, but that doesn't mean I want something worse than I have now.  Verizon basically removed a huge section of their product line and it seems to us that your ONLY choices are:

1)      Keep your current phone although Verizon straight up told us that phone batteries are not designed to last more than two years and if a phone is more than two years old they stop selling the batteries.  So you can use it if you don’t mind recharging it every day;

2)      Buy a smartphone but be forced to pay ridiculous prices for not only the phone but the monthly plan; or

3)      Settle for a mediocre standard phone.

I feel we are all being forced to eventually jump on this bandwagon of smartphones, whether we want to or not.  And when we do, companies can take advantage of the consumer by upping the prices of our plans.  And of course the more we use these types of phones the more we rely on them and the less we want to give them up….therefore we will actually pay to keep the features we want.  And of course the companies know this and take full advantage of it.

You know it is one thing to advance your products and those who want to have the option to advance their phones can, but it is totally another thing to push those people who are content where they are to have to make sacrifices (either by having to get better phones with higher monthly plans or being stuck with mediocre phones) because these phones don’t bring in as much money as what the “cool” phones do. 

It is truly frustrating.

Right now we really have NO idea what to do.  We are keeping our phones a little longer, maybe a lot longer if we can’t figure out what is the best and most cost effective for us.  However, both our phone batteries are dying so something has to be done before the end of the year.  And if that tiered pricing does come into play and smartphones are the best or only option for us, I would rather get into the program before that happens so we at least have unlimited instead of paying the same price for 2GB.  Or do we just settle for some basic phone, that is no better, maybe even slightly worse, than the phones we have now?!  AAAAHHHHH!  At this point maybe I should just get the Jitterbug and call it a day.

**Update – Terry dropped his phone in the toilet last night. *sigh* In all the years he has had a cell phone he has never done this. EVER.  The irony is NOT lost on us.  What sucks is now he at least needs to get another cell phone when just hours before we decided we would wait as we didn’t know what to do. Great.  And the first thing Terry said to me was “I didn’t do it on purpose, believe me I didn’t”.  I know he is annoyed.

Really?! – Recipe Edition

So I am sitting at home waiting for everyone else to come home so we can finally eat the amazing smelling Pot Roast that has been cooking in the crock-pot all day. If that wasn’t torture enough, I am also watching the food network…..which I do a lot when I am hungry. Weirdo.


While watching the food network I watched something I had to blog about. Well we all know Paula Deen doesn’t really cook "healthy food" and more so cooks food that the fat & unhealthy person in all of us really loves to eat. Which is a good thing, because we all need to splurge on occasion. However, every now and then she cooks something so crazy that even that fat person in all of us becomes health conscious and thinks “Really?!  I don't think I would eat that.  I mean it is just not right”. I witnessed one of those recipes moments ago.

The episode is all about bananas. Really?!  Bananas you say?  How does Paula make bananas ridiculous?

Let me tell you.

- She greases both a casserole pan and 12 slices of white bread with what appears to be a vat of butter
- Lays 6 slices of butter bread on the bottom of the casserole dish
- Layers 8 thinly sliced pieces of lunchmeat ham over the bread
- Layers 4 thinly sliced bananas on top of the ham
- Adds the other 6 pieces of buttered white bread
- Over the entire casserole she sprinkles 2 cups cheddar cheese, 2 cups crushed potato chips, and 6 slices cooked and chopped bacon
- THEN she whisks together 4 eggs, 1 cup milk, & 1 cup cream into a custard and pours that over everything and bakes it for 45 minutes.

(I will let you digest that)
I mean come on, REALLY?! Really Paula, you would eat that? Oh wait, you just did. I mean seriously, did you just give up and let your 3 year old nephew pick items he wanted to eat? Or is it really just that hard for you to find ways to incorporate fruit into your recipes other than when it is fried or in a pie?

Now I give people the benefit of the doubt with interesting combinations of food because I, myself, like to put very odd combinations of food together (I do love a pickle, cheese, mayo and chip sandwich once every year or so) but REALLY this just sounds gross? I am fairly certain that even someone who is stoned would see this dish and say no thanks and just eat some stale saltines and chocolate syrup.

Come on Paula. Stick to the delicious fat foods we all love and keep your fruits fried up or in pies only.

I Really Don’t Get It.

So I am not what one would call “fashion forward” and may not be the best judge of what is hip. Do we still say hip? I don’t really follow what is trendy in fashion/pop culture because I know most women only look good in 5% of what celebrities are actually wearing. I prefer comfort over style and hate shopping and spending a lot of money on clothes unless I can wear that piece of clothing all the time and with pretty much everything else I own. I tend to stay in the neutral color tones and am content wearing many different shades of grey, black, green & blue. I adore fashion shows, but when I watch things like Project Runway I only agree with the judges 30% of the time. And as we speak I am sitting in yoga pants, green & blue argyle knee socks, pink slippers, a red sweatshirt, and I have a multi-color piece of random fabric in my hair in place of a headband because I love it.

See, I love my fabric headband….

My point is, I get it….I am not the best judge of fashion. But I do know when something doesn’t make sense and should be removed from the stores promptly and that is why I have to say I just do not for the life of me get Gladiator Sandals and/or Gladiator Boots.

Now I know these came out a couple years ago, but I had really hoped it was just a phase and a bad judgment call by some designers and they would be gone by now and after one season we would never see them again. But they are still around and becoming ridiculous!

OK, maybe a simple and semi-understated gladiator sandal like this…

......would look good on some people (especially when worn with jeans). But I just don't get them in general, I mean isn't the idea to elongate your legs and not cut them off at the ankles? These shoes definitely cut off your legs when you wear them with anything other than jeans.  If you do not have large calves, are the right height, the right age, and have great legs these would look "good" on you. But then they (the crazy designers of the fashion world)  went from a simple shoe to a shoe that now has a life of its own.

SEE!

Now they are like part boot, part leg warmer, part sandal, part S&M shoe, part where is the rest of your shoe, and part WTF is going on with your legs?!?!?! IT IS TOO MUCH   There is a difference between cute strappy sandal (which I like) and an unfinished one that cuts your legs in weird places. Seriously, where is the rest of my shoe?! If I am wearing a shoe that in theory is suppose to come up anywhere from your ankle to mid calf I want the whole shoe that I am paying for….not just pieces of it. It looks like the shell of what could be a cool shoe but was never finished because the cobbler left for Mojitos and passed out the night before the shoes were to be displayed at Fashion Week. And now we are left with pieces of shoes that look very uncomfortable, have no arch support (which is important in my older age), and makes your calves look like sausages.

And the worst part is that even though the celebrities may be starting to move on to other styles (though someone needs to take all of the Olsen twins gladiator shoes away from them STAT) now the general public is starting to wear these shoes more often and I have to tell you…..it ain’t pretty.  Maybe because I live in a college town and I am exposed to girls who study the “show” Jersey Shore instead of studying where Jersey is on a map, I feel like this particular bad fashion is everywhere I look. And unfortunately mama isn’t there to tell Brittni she doesn't look like a greek goddess but rather the court jester; and instead she has a bunch of drunk girlfriends who are going to let her go out in public wearing those dreadful shoes and flattering her on how great they look because they saw Audrina where them on The Hills and she looked awesome.

Sigh

So my point of this post?  If you can pull the more simple ones off in a fashionable way, please do.  I guess I just do not like seeing 20 year olds squeeze their legs into these while they wear cotton shorts with BGSU on the butt, a too tight tank, and a scarf.  There are other people to get your fashion image from other than girls from The Hills.

"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!"

(Anyone guess what famous TV show that quote is from? Mickey D. I know will get it!)


So I went to the movie theater a couple weekends ago and I was flabbergasted…yes flabbergasted to see there were NO Junior Mints being sold at the concession stand. (Pause for audible gasp from readers) Now I prefer salty foods over sweet foods, but do enjoy the occasional sweet treat…..especially at the movie theater. So when I go to a big chain theater where I pay $8 to get in during the day and see a piss poor selection of candy I feel it is my responsibility, nah, duty to my fellow Americans to point out this travesty.

In my opinion there are 5 candies that I feel are true movie theater candies and should be available at every theater AT ALL TIMES…no questions asked and Junior Mints are most definitely one of those candies. Now I do not necessarily like all these candies, but if I had* to pick just five, then in my mind these are the candies. (*Who said I had to pick just five? Me. I like lists. Preferably Top 5 lists. See High Fidelity….you will understand.)

The Top 5 Candies That Should Be Required BY LAW To Be At EVERY Movie Theater In The World.

1. Junior Mints
2. Sno-Caps
3. Reese’s Pieces
4. Gummi Worms or Bears
5. Sour Patch Kids

Now as we live in a country where it seems even our options have options I feel it should be good to also have on hand all or any of the following: Twizzlers, Sweet-Tarts, Skittles, Sweedish Fish, M&M’s, & Whoppers as they too are wonderful movie theater candy. There can be a sub-law for these candies.

The theater I went to had a few of these candies, but not all. No instead my options were some Wonka Bars…which are very delicious but NOT a movie theater candy; Cookie Dough bites…WTF are those?!; Some fancy chocolates which I will not even acknowledge as movie theater candy; and a few other jank-ass candies I have never seen before because I most likely choose to overlook them on the basis that they suck. I mean REALLY, these are the candies you are going with? I was very underwhelmed.

If I am going to pay $4 a bag for $1.50 worth of candy I don’t want any of this new age candy crap, I want the classics. Now true, I could sneak my candy in like many people but I have to say that in the off chance I do want candy there is just something childlike and nostalgic about peering into the glass windows where the candy is so beautifully displayed that makes me want to get my candy there instead of just pulling half melted candy out of my purse. However, peering into a glass cabinet seeing nothing more than some random product placement candy put there by the higher ups within this theater’s corporate juggernaut marketing department who know not a thing about what great candy is because they are too busy sipping on their wheatgrass and kissing each others arses does nothing more than make me annoyed and unwilling to compromise on my candy morals (not to be confused with candy morsels).

Overall I was very disappointed that Junior Mints were not even an option (also not an option Reese’s Pieces, Sour Patch Kids, Twizzlers, Sweedish Fish, & Whoppers), especially at a place that serves multiple flavors of ice cream, iced coffee, pizza, chili cheese fries, and a variety of other junk foods that while good are not conducive to the movie watching experience. I mean seriously – popcorn, candy and pop should be more than enough! I think that their priorities are just not right.

Sigh

So what are your favorite movie theater candies?

Be Warned.....

......I am about to bombard your inboxes over the next 24 hours with comments. I am seriously coming at these blogs like a spider monkey all jacked up on Mtn. Dew*...so look out. I FINALLY have a few minutes to catch up on blogs at lunch and this evening. Seriously, this funk I have been in is taking up precious blogging time and is ridiculous.

I have a couple blogs to post as well, but will most likely not be blogging much until after my birthday (April 22nd) as I like to celebrate for no shorter than 2 weeks but preferably at least 3 weeks, when it comes to my birthday. (Unnecessary 30th birthday plug – inserted) So if my blog posts and comments are far and few between after today or maybe completely random and stupid please know that I will be giving my blogs and your blogs the attention they deserve when I am 30, as then I will be far more mature and responsible and able to focus on the blogs.
 
 
*Can anyone tell me why Mountain Dew now has their name stylized as "Mtn. Dew" on their cans?!  Seriously, it looks SO stupid. Your product is MOUNTAIN DEW, two words, do not abbreviate it...not everything these days needs to be text-message shortened.  At the rate we are going kids are not going to be able to spell anything because everything has to be shortened.  Even the words NO or YES are going to be hard....they will just write the letters N or Y.  So please feel free to udate the style but spell out Mountain Dew on your cans for the sake of our children.  Plus it looks like generic pop and makes you look a fool.
 

I Just Want To Be Liked

So I have mentioned before, some long while ago, that our neighbor doesn’t really talk to us. Most wouldn’t think it was a big deal but we have a condo and share a wall with this lady (duplex style condo) and therefore as we practically live together I think it is good to be friendly to our neighbor. Maybe I am needy….ok I AM needy, but maybe I want her to know we are nice people so if we have a really loud party she won’t call the cops or maybe I want her to like us so in case she decides that she wants to set her house on fire and collect insurance she will think twice because she really likes us and knows our house will be affected as well. Who knows really why I seek acceptance from complete strangers, but I do.

So after 2 years at our house I noticed I was finally getting a pleasant smile from our neighbor, the occasional “Hi”, and on rare cases even small talk….I mean it is like we are practically BFF’s. But imagine my surprise when T. tells me he has had numerous conversations with our neighbor for more then a year now. WHAT?! I mean not the long conversations that involve politics, religion, or the meaning of life but standard neighborly type conversations.....I wouldn't no exactly becasue I was not apart of said convo's. He actually referred to her by name in a conversation the other day. He was all like, “Yeah Cindy asked if we were having problems with our cable” and I was all like “who is Cindy” and he was all “Um, our neighbor”. Yeah, I had NO idea these two were on a first name basis! Now the jealousy is not because I am worried about my man talking to another women without me around – HA, as if....I mean have you met me. (I almost got that out with a straight face.) No the jealousy is because he somehow won her over and I didn’t. Dang nabbit, what’s up wit dat - I am likable.

Now I am aware of my pure awesomeness, and understand it can be intimidating to be around me at times, but that is my burden to bear and people should not feel uncomfortable around me. So as far as I am concerned it is on like flys to shit….I am going to make her my new friend….more so then Terry. Step one learn each others names. Hmmm….I just so happen to be making some homemade cookies this weekend and I think I will have to share them with my lovely neighbor. But only the sugar cookies, I don’t like her well enough to share the really good cookies – I mean honestly.


Should I talk to someone about my competitiveness and neediness – nah, it is just as healthy as my ego is....so I am fine. ;) heehee

One Year Later...

(I just wanted to share some thoughts....)


So I have been at my current job for a year now, click here. For those that don’t know this is basically What Happened…The whole thing was very shady and an eye opening experience.

So I have been working as a secretary (or Administrative Assistant for those who want to be politically correct) at a Patent and Trademark Law Firm for a year now. Previously I was a Special Event Coordinator, a job that I liked in theory but often left me feeling unfulfilled, unappreciated, not able to be truly creative, frustrated, stressed and often times resentful of my choice in careers. So as much as this change was unexpected and hurtful at the time, I was extremely open to try something completely new and different.

Today I am at a job where I am in one word - HAPPY. (Though I do miss dearly some friends I use to work with.) The people here are great, I feel respected, I feel like they appreciate not only the work I do but also who I am as a person. I don’t feel as if they are judging or care about “status”…they truly like me for who I am. I feel like I can be myself and you know what, lately I have realized I really like myself :) I know this sounds silly, but these were the things lacking by my previous employers (my bosses). To me it is FAR MORE important to be at a place where I feel welcomed and appreciated and not just a pawn in a person’s game.

So now a year later and I really feel like my time at this place and away from the stresses of my previous job have allowed me to gain a better idea of who I am and what I want in the years to come for my life as well as out of my employers. When the time comes to eventually move on, I know this place is going to be a hard act to follow. I mean all jobs have their stresses, but overall this place really makes me happy.

I know in the grand scheme of things, a year is not that long but so many decisions about T & my future have been made this last year and just working here and being away from the stress has really provided me with the opportunity to see things in a new light. So what have I learned….. I know I want to be surrounded by positive people and a positive working environment. I know I want to be appreciated and respected where I work, and I deserve nothing less then that. I know that I like to be busy but not so busy I miss out on my life (such as not taking a honeymoon b/c i felt I should put my job first). I know that it IS possible to have a job where you actually want to get up and go to every morning....or most mornings! I know that just because you leave a place it does not mean you will lose the friendships you have made. I know I don't need to change the type of person I am to do my job. I know I want to be somewhere for the moment that will allow me and also support me to continue my education. I know I want to get my masters degree in College Student Personnel. I know I want to stay here while Terry goes back to school and I go back to school. I know I want to have my first child while working here. I know one day, in time I want to work for a college in the student affairs office. I know that many of these people have made a huge impact on my life and came into my life at a time where I had very little confidence in myself as not only an employee but overall as a person, and I am truly grateful for that. I know that, more then ever, I cherish the friendships I have made over the years and though I may not say it I love each of you dearly and am so happy to be a part of each others lives. I know that I feel closer to and that I love and appreciate my husband more today then I did the day I married him. I could really keep going.

Overall, as frustrating as my previous two jobs were, they did allow me to meet some of my most favorite people ever and I would never change any of it! I mean, I wouldn't even be blogging with all of you if I hadn't taken this path in life. I feel like I have grown so much over the last year and I love where my life has come over the years and I can’t wait to see where it will go in the coming years. I never thought this is exactly where I would be at this point in my life. Many things were put on delay and have had to be changed along the way, but such is life and today I feel more blessed then ever. I know this may seem a little deep....it is just a job, right?! People loose jobs and find new jobs all the time. But there was more - I wasn't happy with myself. I felt as though I lacked confindence in myself, my talent to perform my job, and my choice in a career. I was lost. To me the past couple years have not been JUST about losing a job and finding a new one but more about finding who I was, what I want out of life, what my husband and I want out of our life and feeling like I actually matter and make a difference somewhere.....beyond just the friendships I have made and being a nice person. I know I don't and shouldn't have to change who I am to be accepted and at the end of the day your job should not define who you are but who you are as person and how you choose to live your life should be what defines you.

Even through all the ups and downs these past couple years, it has been one hell of a ride and I am so happy to be at this place in my life, both physically and emotionally. And I feel privilaged to have you all, blogger friends included, in my life.

Some Rebates Are Just Not Worth It.

So here are two examples of rebate offers that Terry and I got this weekend that I just find funny.

#1 – I got a printed out rebate on my Staples receipt for …..wait for it…..$1.00! Yep a whole dollar! Yippee. Now I know a dollar is a dollar and if they would have just given me a dollar off at the store (which seems more logical) I would have been pumped. But by the time I mail this off with my 42 cent stamp my rebate Check for $1.00 is more like 58 cents. I mean, come on. Really! I think I will pass…..and I think that is what they are hoping for. No one is going to want to waste their time for $1. I don’t think mail in rebates should be less than $5, everything else should be given discounted at the store. The best part was the cashier was like – “Oh you got a rebate! You just fill this out and send it in to this address and you will receive….um…a dollar.” You could just hear the tone in her voice change as she thought it was a waste too. I replied,…”Oh, I can’t wait to spend that rebate check!”

#2 – Terry enjoys the candy Mallo Cups. Why, I have no idea - blech. So there is a little cardboard card inside each pack of Mallo Cups. (I still haven't decided if this is for real or a joke) Each card has a 5 point value and the card says that if you save 500 points (i.e. 100 cards) then you can send it in to receive a $1.00 rebate check. Again with the $1.00 people. But the best part is that Terry and I did the math. A pack of Mallo Cups are approximately 89 cents. If you have to get 100 that is $89.00. And then you have to mail them and lets remember you have 100 thin pieces of cardboard so you are looking at spending at least a $1-2 on postage to mail. So we are at around maybe $91.00 so that in 4-6 weeks you can get a $1. Eat up babe!

Oh how I love illogical things.

When it Rains.....

So today I had TWO voicemails from different companies calling to set up interviews for potential jobs. I don't think I had two interviews during my entire 4 months and now this! haha Isn't that always how things go?!?!

All I can say is, you snooze you loose!!!!