A Little Bit of This and A Little Bit of That

- So help me if I eat one more cookie or candy bar I am going to scream at myself and then burst. I have had way too many sweets the past two weeks and I just feel gross. Sweets, I forbid you from entering my house…..at least until Thanksgiving.

- If our little Kitties don’t straighten up and stop being so damn ornery I am going to have to call my blog Wrestling Goldfish instead of Wrestling Kitties!

- Terry-ism:

Me: "Do you want a piece of gum?"

T.: "No. I am trying to quit."

Me: “You are trying to quit chewing gum?"

T.: “Yeah, I am trying to quit chewing gum by smoking cigarettes.”

Me: “Really? By smoking.”

T.: “Yeah, that gum stuff is bad for you and such a disgusting habit.”

(While I wish he didn’t smoke, it is hilarious that he makes fun of it!)

- We have been at 80% capacity on our DVR for the last 2 months.  We will watch a bunch of stuff then as soon as we watch something, something else is recording.  Some may say that means we watch way too much TV.  I think it means we need a 3^rd DVR.

- I have never seen Pretty in Pink. I saw it advertised on TV last night. I really don’t care to see it.

- I want to eat this banana for breakfast but it is such a ridiculously inappropriate size that I feel wrong eating it.  Seriously, the girth on this thing is obnoxious.

- We got business cards for Tastefully Simple this weekend.  I am excited!!  We got them from Vistaprint.  250 cards for $9 and that includes shipping and handling.  Love me some Vistaprint!

  

- I am SO excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas!  I am planning our TWO Thanksgiving dinners that we are hosting. Thanksgiving is T & my thang!  I have also already started listening to Christmas music (YES, Yes I have!) and can’t wait to put up all our Christmas decorations….after Thanksgiving of course.

- You may say to me: “Man, you look tired”.  But what I hear is: “Damn girl, those dark circles under your eyes against your pale and flaky skin make you look horrible. You need to go home so we don’t have to look at you!”

- I am enjoying Twitter at the moment.  The first two times I tried it, not so much.  But this third time is a tad more fun!  Facebook on the other hand, you have annoyed me recently…..but I haven’t given up on you.

Is My Husband Trying to Kill Me?!

Ok, for the record I am very certain my husband is not trying to kill me, however I would not be surprised if he is trying subconsciously to have me take off a few appendages.


Last week Terry came home with a “present” for me. It was a rather large pocket knife. What I have always wanted. When it is out in its full glory it is about an 8 1/2” long & 1” wide (hey oooooooh) pocket knife that on the handle also has one of those knobby things (technical terminology) that breaks through your car windows. He said he got it for me for my safety, which I would agree with if it wasn’t for the fact that I am incredibly clumsy. Seriously, my parents call me Grace and it is actually pronounced with a hint of sarcasm over the long A and prefaced with “way to go”. So because my husband knows I absolutely can NOT walk down a hall without at least bouncing off one of the walls or objects in the hall along the way, I don’t see how he can even think for a moment that giving me a knife is a good thing. Well unless of course he wants me to take off a few un-needed appendages.

Example. Sunday I went to Rite Aid to pick up a few things for the house. While there I found a cute headband and decided to purchase said headband. When I got in the car I noticed the headband was tied to a cardboard holder with industrial strength, government approved, Area 51 tested plastic. There was no getting this headband free with my weak little hands. But wait, I have a knife in my car….let me use that. Now before we go further and to remove any unnecessary suspense…yes I have all my fingers & toes and no blood was drawn.

So, I easily opened my knife and sawed my way through the packaging and was very proud that I didn’t hurt myself…..but figuring out how to close the knife was where things got tricky. I first tried to just bend it down – nope. Tried squeezing parts of the knife thinking it would unlock it – nope. Pushed anything that looked like a button on the knife and handle – nope. Tried hitting the back of the knife on the floor of my car thinking I just needed more force – nope. Seriously, I sat there for 5 minutes thinking what the hell I should do with this knife all awhile envisioning the many ways I could cut off a finger or stab myself in my attempts to close this knife. For a brief moment I thought I would drive with the knife open and let Terry close it at home, but as quickly as that thought came into my head so did the thought that I would slam on my brakes while driving and the knife would wiggle its way out from under my purse, fly in the air, and stab me. So I quickly nixed that idea for very obvious safety reasons. I also wondered if I could try to see if someone could help me, but was afraid that a suspicious looking girl with a knife might yield a scared response and not the helpful one I was looking for. And I didn’t want to call Terry, because honestly I didn’t want to let him know I was on to his plan….it is just better that way.

So I sat in my car in the Rite-Aid parking lot just looking at this knife (in the most inconspicuous way possible of course) trying to figure out how the hell to close this damn thing. And then I see it. At the base of the blade this little piece of metal I can push in WITH MY FINGER to release the lock and then push the blade down at the same time with my other hand just like a  little finger guillotine. Riiiiight. Tricky and again just another attempt for T. to get me to chop off my fingers. But alas, I got it closed and safely put away with absolutely no bloodshed. IN YOUR FACE TERRY!

I feel more comfortable with my knife at the moment, and by more comfortable I mean comfortable for someone who is clumsy, doesn’t like weapons and is pretty certain that I will one day draw blood but not actually cut off an entire finger with this knife. My husband also wants me to take gun classes so in a year when he moves away to school I will be safe…..riiiiiight again. I think instead of gun classes I am going to start with the ancient art of Karate and just get me some nunchucks instead.  I can just practice that on the Wii.

Ok, so maybe he isn’t technically trying to hurt me either….but come on it does seem just a little suspicious.


P.S. Looked....I blogged! Seriously it has been over a month!

Just Thinking....

Why after I paint my nails do I feel the need to do something that will ultimately destroy my freshly painted nails? Every time I paint my nails I do something that ruins one or more of the nails I just painted. I will even plan to do my nails and nothing else but then after I paint them I will feel the need to do anything, like clean the toilet or something.


Take tonight for instance. T. and his brother went to see a movie so I am home all evening doing nothing. I decide I have tons of stuff on the DVR to watch so why don’t I paint my nails and watch TV. I even go to the restroom before (made that mistake a couple times), got myself a drink and snack and was all prepared to sit and watch TV. But after a few minutes of sitting on the couch, in an attempt to let my nails dry, I decide I need to straighten up the living room….. which by the way when I was home all day by myself while T. was in class never once thought “hey you should clean the living room today” but apparently now that I have nice nails I have the itch to clean. Now had I not painted my nails, I would have stayed on the couch for hours and not even thought about doing anything except eating snacks. I also know full well my nails aren’t dry but think maybe if I touch them they will magically be dry and I will be released from the confinement of my couch. I of course touch them and leave a nice little finger print on not one but two of my newly painted nails. Yes, I did not just touch one but two…hoping that it would yield a different result. I believe that may be Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity…which is appropriate for me.


Is it more about patience or is it like when we were kids and we knew we were not suppose to do something like touch the hot stove or jump on the bed because we would get hurt but do it anyways because we want to test fate. I think the latter.

Well What Other Words Have I Been Saying Wrong?!

So last night we were watching TV when a lady said the word “wheelbarrow”.

I instantly start laughing and say “Wheelbarrow, what the heck is that?! Doesn’t she mean wheelbarrel?!” To which know it all Terry says “No Jenn, she said it right. It is wheelbarrow. It is a common mistake, like when people pronounce it FebUary and not FebRUary.”

Um, what the heck, when did that happen?! I am almost 30 years old I had absolutely NO IDEA that it was wheelbarrow. I mean wheelbarrow doesn’t even make sense and sound right…wheelbarrel sounds so much better.

I seriously feel like such a dufus, however I am 100% certain there are many more words I am not saying correctly.  *sigh*


And for the record:


A wheelbarrow is a carrier, usually having only one wheel, consisting of a tray bolted to two handles and two legs. While known mostly as a device for carrying small loads for the household gardener, a wheelbarrow is often also used in construction and industry for carrying larger loads.


The birthplace of the modern wheelbarrow was China, possibly as early as 100 B.C. One early version consisted of a large single wheel at or near the front of a platform. The load would be placed behind the wheel, and the operator would lift the heavy end and push the load. Sometimes a small basket would be used to carry the load, and was similar to rickshaws.


Unlike Chinese wheelbarrows, European wheelbarrows were designed to carry small loads over short distances. It is difficult to trace the progression of the wheelbarrow from China to Europe. Possibly, Arab traders brought it to the Middle East and Europeans learned of it during the Crusades. Ancient Greeks might have used the wheelbarrow for construction, while the Romans might have adapted it for agriculture. After Rome fell, the wheelbarrow could have remained in use in Byzantium until the Crusaders learned of it during their journeys. However, it is most likely that it was an independent invention of the late middle ages, created by putting a wheel on the two-person handbarrow already in use for carrying such items as stones or sheaves of corn.

Confession

I think, no I know, I have a crush on Adam Lambert.


This is him waving at me. Hi Adam, can I be your beard?!



Yes, I am aware I may not be the type of person he fancies but that does not matter. I am also aware that he wears an excessive amount of guyliner, that he is a bit on the glam side of poprock, and that his pants can be tighter than a pair of leggings but there is something I find extremely attractive about him. I love his voice, I like the clothes he wears, I like the glam/rocker edge, he is tall, I like that he is well-spoken in interviews, and YES I think he is really cute. I love him so much I even forced myself to watch Oprah so I could see his interview…that is serious.

I have yet to get his CD, but I have heard many of the songs and they are good…more so he is good. However, I think when he can make a CD he wants it will not be as “pop” and will be more rock and show his amazing vocal skills and that is what I want to hear. However, I did see the video for his single from the soundtrack 2012….awesome. See it HERE.

Here is his latest single.


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On a side note, I was thinking (as a lover of rock music) it is interesting how many women over the years have found those glam/rock artists very attractive and how both gay and straight men have tried that feminine look “for the music”. They have been wearing makeup, spandex and tight sparkly clothes, big hair, being overtly sexual and going to the extreme for years….and it is ok, right, because they are rock stars! People or bands like David Bowie, The Cure, Motley Crue, Poison, Twisted Sister, Kiss, Prince, Van Halen, Stryper (to name a few) have all donned some sort of the glam side and both men and women have adorn them. Of course, that is not to say that I need any justification for having a crush on him, I just be say’n it is interesting how so many people have found that sort of look attractive. I wonder what Freud would have to say about it.

And since I am in the sharing mood, you want to know another crush confession; I had a crush on Tim Curry when he was in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yes, I know I may have issues.



I just wanted to be open and honest with my fellow bloggers as I feel that the internet is a safe place to share this information. ;) I also wanted to tell you so incase you come over and see teen beat sized posters of Adam throughout the house you will understand why.

I know I am not the only one with an odd crush. What are yours?!


And for the record, in case you have not met me and my husband and you wonder if I am with someone with that rocker edge, NO my husband is not anywhere close to that. He is a long haired, jeans & t-shirt wearing guy who refuses to even wear chapstick. I guess some weird fantasies should just remain that and not a reality….for now at least.

I Just Want To Be Liked

So I have mentioned before, some long while ago, that our neighbor doesn’t really talk to us. Most wouldn’t think it was a big deal but we have a condo and share a wall with this lady (duplex style condo) and therefore as we practically live together I think it is good to be friendly to our neighbor. Maybe I am needy….ok I AM needy, but maybe I want her to know we are nice people so if we have a really loud party she won’t call the cops or maybe I want her to like us so in case she decides that she wants to set her house on fire and collect insurance she will think twice because she really likes us and knows our house will be affected as well. Who knows really why I seek acceptance from complete strangers, but I do.

So after 2 years at our house I noticed I was finally getting a pleasant smile from our neighbor, the occasional “Hi”, and on rare cases even small talk….I mean it is like we are practically BFF’s. But imagine my surprise when T. tells me he has had numerous conversations with our neighbor for more then a year now. WHAT?! I mean not the long conversations that involve politics, religion, or the meaning of life but standard neighborly type conversations.....I wouldn't no exactly becasue I was not apart of said convo's. He actually referred to her by name in a conversation the other day. He was all like, “Yeah Cindy asked if we were having problems with our cable” and I was all like “who is Cindy” and he was all “Um, our neighbor”. Yeah, I had NO idea these two were on a first name basis! Now the jealousy is not because I am worried about my man talking to another women without me around – HA, as if....I mean have you met me. (I almost got that out with a straight face.) No the jealousy is because he somehow won her over and I didn’t. Dang nabbit, what’s up wit dat - I am likable.

Now I am aware of my pure awesomeness, and understand it can be intimidating to be around me at times, but that is my burden to bear and people should not feel uncomfortable around me. So as far as I am concerned it is on like flys to shit….I am going to make her my new friend….more so then Terry. Step one learn each others names. Hmmm….I just so happen to be making some homemade cookies this weekend and I think I will have to share them with my lovely neighbor. But only the sugar cookies, I don’t like her well enough to share the really good cookies – I mean honestly.


Should I talk to someone about my competitiveness and neediness – nah, it is just as healthy as my ego is....so I am fine. ;) heehee

The Sky Is Falling, The Sky Is Falling…Sort Of

This morning as I left my house I noticed the ground was covered with beautiful fall leaves that were falling at a rather fast and frequent pace down on me as I made my way outside. It instantly reminded me of the scene below from Edward Scissorhands where he is cutting that ice sculpture so it snows down on a blonde, pre shoplifting, Winona Ryder.

Well except for the fact that leaves were falling on me - not snow, and the leaves were coming from a tree - not a giant hunk of ice, and it wasn’t a scar faced leather clad Johnny Depp with scissors for hands making the leaves fall – just the wind blowing the leaves off the tree, and I wasn’t in a white dress spinning in circles under the snow – I was in my work clothes spinning in circles under the leaves. But still, it was almost exactly the same.

It made me happy, I love the fall.

I Know I Shouldn't But.....

.....I may have gotten excited when a Michael Buble christmas song found its way onto my Yahoo radio today! Yeah, I know it is just turning August and it is still over 4 months till Christmas, but I love me my Christmas songs and I love Christmas so this was a nice little treat.

It also reminded me I need to get started on my shopping! I like to have most of it done by the end of October so that all I have left are some last minute, small gifts come Nov. & Dec.

My Own Personal Video Game…In My Head.

I felt like frogger this morning as I drove through BG to do some errands before work!

It's a garbage truck in my lane, must go past…boop, boop, boop. Oh no, one of those street cleaning trucks…boop, boop, boop. Look out, girl on bike…boop, boop. Get over, the city is cutting down tree branches....boop, boop, boop, boop. Watch it, orange construction barrels.....boop, boop, boop.

Great Job! You made it – HIGH SCORE!

Yep, that was my morning. And yes this is how my mind thinks and I did make those sounds in my head as I drove past all these objects!!

Play frogger!