Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Did I Just Have a Revelation Because of Beyonce?!

Back in February I watched the HBO Beyonce special “Lifeis but a Dream”.

I watched it out of curiosity more than anything.  I also watched it during Henry’s nap and when Terry was at work because T. would tease me if I watched it while he was home.  While I was half watching and half messing around with folding clothes, something she said caught my attention and made me rewind and listen again.

It was something, I think I needed to hear and was open to hearing at that moment because I wasn’t thinking about it.  It was something that made me think about myself and beliefs and made me start to cry.

Yeah, I know….what is wrong with me?!  I could have been on my period and that would probably explain the extreme emotion.

But basically Beyonce said the following [not exact, but close] “God is real and lives inside me, inside all of us.  It doesn’t matter where I am, I feel it.  Right now I feel it, I am hot/tingle.  It’s that love and I feel it when I look at my child, at my husband.  It’s God.”

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I Think We See It Time And Time Again....

....That even in the wake of such a tragedy that was propelled by what I can only see as pure evil and hate, we see pure love and kindness from the greater part of people out there.

In those minutes, the minutes where we feel all hope is lost, people come together to prove that love and compassion for our fellow man lives on and is stronger than ever.  In the tears of those that have been hurt or from the families of those that were lost forever and from all those whose lives will be forever changed from one act of cruelty, we see compassion from complete strangers who are offering to mend a wound, a shoulder to cry on, a place to sleep, or whatever support they can provide.

Whether it is because of natural disasters from Katrina to Sandy or from senseless and horrific events like the 9/11 terrorist attacks to recent public shootings and now to this bombing; we prove time and time again that no matter what religion, political background, race, or connection to those affected that we will come together in the face of such devastation to help and/or lend support however we can.

When things like this happen I think of my family. I think of my friends.  I think of my husband.  I think of my son.

I think HOW? WHY?

I think of what this world has come to and wonder where it is going.  I wonder how we can continue to live in a world filled with so much hate and violence.   I get scared.  I get angry.  I get sad.

But then I have to stop and remember that we will never understand why, nor is it in most of our nature to understand why.  Sure we can and should get angry and be sad and try to figure out why it happened.  But it is the goodness and compassion that we have inside of us that will prevail.  I know it sounds like some naive outlook, but we cannot become numb to this.  We can not accept this as OK.  And we can not let our children grow up in a world where violence towards others is the answer or the way to prove a point or get people to listen.

We must continue to help our fellow man.  We must continue to be the best people we can be and make sure our children show even more compassion than us and are better at resolving conflict than us.

Even in the midst of such a tragedy I still have hope.  I need to have hope.  Hope that things will get better and differences will be put aside for the greater good of all of us.  Hope in the good of people.  Hope in the future.  Hope in our children. Hope that these evil acts will not bring us down or tear us apart even more.

And it is with that hope, that I send my deepest and most sincere thoughts and prayers to those affected by the senseless act of yesterday.   There is nothing that any of us can say to make things better, but we are here and our hearts go out to each of you.

I wrote this blog, not to sound preachy but because I wanted to write it.  It is how I feel and want to remember how I feel.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Finding Time to Work Out - Weighty Issues

When do you find time to work out?  It isn't always easy to find time.

Do you have to give up something to try to find time for yourself to work out?

Check out my blog post today at Weighty Issues, HERE, to answer and see what others say.

Personally, I think I am going to have to give up sleep to get myself healthy.

This will be me below....but at least I will look good, right?!

Monday, April 01, 2013

Weight Loss Challenge, Reactivated in 3…2….1….

Do you remember that one time I started a weight loss blog and I was attempting to lose weight?  Yeah, it was awhile ago so I am sure you have long forgotten.  But to recap, back in August of 2009 I started losing weight after seeing pictures of myself that made me cry.  I had lost some weight and in January 2010 I felt encouraged to keep going and wanted a place to track my weight loss and find support, as well as give support to others who were in a similar position.  During the short length of my blog (August 2009 – October 2010) I lost 50 pounds. 

The blog is called Weighty Issues. HERE.

The title reflects the fact that I have had many issues with my weight my entire life.  Not only have I been extremely heavy I have also been thin.  However in both cases, the perception of myself was always off.  Meaning; even when I was thin I didn’t see myself that way.  Infact I had more issues with my appearance when I was thin compared to when I was bigger.   I have battled with mild eating disorders, self esteem, and major perception issues.  It has been a constant struggle most of my life.

But, like in 2009, I see picture of myself today and cry.  I actually avoid taking full picture with my son or husband because I don’t want to see or remember myself that way.  The problem.  I don’t want to look back at a bunch of pictures of just my son without me in them.  Heaven forbid something ever happens to me….I want him to remember me.  I want him to see me happy.  And even if nothing happens to me, I still want him to see me happy and not as someone who gets angry because of the way I look.  I never want Henry to see me act that way or have my issues with my body be imposed on him. 

Now that he is older I want to run with him, I want to take him to a water park and not sit on the side because I am embarrassed to be seen, I want to climb on the jungle gym with him without worrying if I am too big, I just want to be happy with the way I look and not even THINK about my weight.


SO, here we go again.  I have moved to a better place mentally the last few months and my motivation couldn't be any clearer.  

I am ready to do this.  I NEED to do this.  And I am hoping the accountability of using this forum as a place to track my progress with be the kick in the ass that I need.

If you have time, please visit my blog here.  I have posted my first, new post.

If you are also trying to get healthier; whether it is losing weight, exercising more or just eating better….please feel free to share your journey in the comments section of my posts.  Perhaps we can all motivate each other!

I hope to share my progress for the week ever Sunday night or Monday morning!