Little Things…

Tuesdays are the one night each week that Kristen, Terry and I are all together and can enjoy a relaxing evening with dinner and some TV. Terry has class Monday, Wed, & Thursday nights till after 9:30 and Kristen is usually gone Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings. Meanwhile, I am home every night. This is very enjoyable at times while other times it can be a bit lonely.

But it is all forgotten and made right again on Tuesdays when T & K get home around 8pm and I have dinner ready (ok sometimes I order Chinese) for my busy hubby & sister and we can sit down for a couple hours and watch TV over dinner. It really makes me smile just thinking about it.

Last night I made some wicked good chili and we caught up on TV on our DVR…Bones and Chuck to be exact. Here are my peeps so happy to be eating their scolding hot chili and watching TV as a family! Just look at those smiles....you can't fake that! (And K's evil eyes....she gets crazy when I cook!)

Even with all the craziness that goes on, these moments just make me happy and so thankful for the little things and any time together we do have.

Don’t forget to enjoy the little things.



Oh, and in case you were wondering….

- Yes, that is Terry’s ponytail on his shoulder and yes his hair is longer than mine.

- Yes, those are some pretty wicked sideburns he has. (He is keeping them just a few months longer and then chopping everything off before he goes to Cincinnati as he wants a more “professional” look. Personally, I think he has the creeping mortician look going right now!)

- Yes, we eat at the coffee table in our living room. We do have a dining room table, but there is no TV in the dining room so I am sure you understand why we have no other choice but to cram around a coffee table and sit on the floor to eat dinner.

- Yes Kristen will ham it up infront of any camera….she is good like that.

- Yes all these little things that I have mentioned above are just more reasons why I loooooove my peeps so very much.

Really?! – American Idol

So the decision was made and along with Randy Jackson; the new judges for American Idol are going to be Steven Tyler and J. Lo. Yep, that is right …dawg.


Hold on for a moment whilst I prepare myself.


Deep breathe……and


COME ON, REALLY?! Are you serious American Idol, Steven Tyler and J. Lo. REALLY?! Those are your judges?! WOW. I have no idea how the heck you managed that….well besides a shit ton of money. So the Idol Tour must be going well for you, huh?

Now I am not saying they didn’t need some better judges on the show. I mean I love Ellen, but I didn’t take a damn thing she said seriously as a judge and really didn’t take it as helpful either and that other girl, well her opinion was ok…..when she gave one in between eye f&$k’n Simon. Shivers.

But really, Steven Tyler and J. Lo?

I mean first, the two couldn’t be any more different and they seem to be totally random choices. Like, did you just pull names out of a hat?! Really? Did you? Because I want to know how the hell you picked these two people. I mean, maybe you are tired of all the goofing around going on between the judges and wanted people who you thought would never, I mean ever, normally be friends so they didn’t mess around. And that is fine. But American Idol, you have managed to blow my mind. Really. Me + Mind = BLOWN. And don’t necessarily take that as meaning in a good way either.

Besides the pure randomness of your picks, I just don’t know if I care about what either of them has to say as judges. I do like Steven Tyler….you know as the frontman for flipp’n Aerosmith, not as the judge on American Idol! That is NOT rock’n roll Steven, really. That is not Amazing, it is Crazy. I feel like Cryin because being the judge of AI is not Livin’ on the Edge of anything cool. Steven Stop Messin’ Around and Walk the Other Way!!! AHHHH (See what Idid there...hehe) It just doesn’t seem cool and like something someone such as yourself should be doing. You are a Bad Boy from Boston…..please tell me you were forced as part of some 12 step program you are on. I wonder what Joe Perry has to say about this.

And J. Lo. Dear, sweet J. Lo. Sigh. What is your master plan with all of this? Get some media attention, spend time with your new babies, get some good movie deals since the last few you have been in tanked, start your empire to take over the world and get your foot in the door to replace Oprah when she leaves as someone who people can see as a host?! Really, I am serious about that last one. I just don’t get what your master plan is because being a guest judge is one thing, but you are still relevant and I really do not think this is the best way to restart your career. I honestly don’t think this is what you want to be doing for the next 6 months without you being in it for some other reason (like by Mr. Anthony)….so spill it Jenny from the Block.


Any thoughts on the new American Idol lineup? Care? Don't Care? Did you watch before? Will you keep watching? Will you watch now? Can we ALL agree that the two of them are pretty darn random?!

Is This What They Call....Irony?

Ok, I understand this is very sad, BUT I had to laugh a little not at his death but at the way in which he died.  It is a very interesting quirk of fate :)


"The Segway Company Owner Accidentally Dies Riding Segway over Cliff"

Story here & here or below.

“James Heselden, the owner of the Segway company, died in an apparent accident involving the upright two-wheeled vehicle on Sunday.

The 62-year-old businessman was pulled from the River Wharfe, in Yorkshire, England, according to police reports, and a Segway-like vehicle was also recovered at the scene.


According to a report in British newspaper the Telegraph, Heselden, who was known as Jimi, was discovered by a passerby after apparently falling from a cliff above the river. Police do not believe the death to be suspicious.


Heselden was worth about £166 million. He was a former miner who made his fortune from his company, Hesco Bastion, which developed a wire cage water containment system which was used to control floods and used in military defense.


He was also heralded for his charity work, including the British veterans' charity, Help for Heroes.


The Segway, a motorized scooter, is controlled by the direction the rider leans. It used gyroscopes to stay upright. The device was invented by Dean Kamen, who sold his company to Heselden earlier this year.”

I am not laughing at his death, but come on - the irony is humorous!  And how did he miss that cliff?

Poems to My Husband - Happy Anniversary

So yesterday T & I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary, and what I believe to be another milestone….10 years together. Phew.


So I am kicking it old-school this year and getting all iambic pentameter on his ass and decided to bombard him with the written word…..in the form of a series of poems created by yours truly!

Yep, he is a very lucky man. And I am also a very lucky women…..I mean check out my man last winter!

Ladies, please back away from the computer and control yourself. This piece of meat belongs to me!



So I have written Terry 4 poems as an expression of my love…..because that is just how I roll. These are ALL unique with no help from the inter-web, just a Thesaurus and my awesome mind.

Let’s start simple with something you may remember from grade school. It is also a great illustration of pretty much the first time we met.

Poem #1:

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
You gave me a zerbert,
And then I fell for you.


Yep….a zerbert was all it took to fall madly in love with this man.

Next poem. Look out, your ass is about to get haiku’d!


Poem #2:

Just two little words.
There is no doubt in my heart.
When asked, it’s I DO.

Hope your mind isn’t completely blown, because it is time to get down with a limerick.


Poem #3:

There once was a fella named Terry,
Who fell for a girl who was wary.
After some flirting,
And love asserting,
It was fate that the two would marry.


Just a little humor before getting to the serious stuff.

This last poem is a bit personal, but is exactly how I feel at this point in my life. This poem surprisingly took very little time to write because the emotions just came out so easily and so strongly.  I don't believe in nearly all of the overly romantic stuff out there but I do believe in our relationship and believe no matter what the future holds for us that he has changed my life forever and in so many wonderful ways and to me that is an amazing and powerful thing to have in my life. 


Poem #4:

To My Dearest Husband….

It was just ten quick years ago when we first met;
Who would have known then that the pieces were being set.

Evade as I might the connection we had, made it impossible not to fall for you;
While our unique and effortless relationship was hard for others to construe.

Our relationship was our OWN with no one pushing us astray;
We did things the way we wanted, on our own terms and in our own way.

And then September 16, 2006 vows would be exchanged in front of family and friends;
Which would give me the honor to call you my husband and your last name I would pen.

From the beginning - trust, respect, love and laughter were always the keys;
As a relationship will fail without the understanding and work that it needs.

Frustration and resentment can become a destructible game;
One where nobody wins and each is to blame.

But for us good times were plentiful and fights only a few;
We carried on as individuals but also as equals through and through.

Because at the end of the day what mends the hardships, frustrations, and unnecessary bickering;
Is a relationship filled with love, encouragement, happiness, and of course snickering.

Your stories, your laugh, your straight forward and honest thinking;
Are all characteristics I admire and that make you uniquely appealing.

You help me to stop, to breath, and to slowdown;
So I can take in all those special moments around.

You accept me for who I am, even with all my crazy imperfections;
And you have never tried to change me into some generalized societal projection.

I feel so unique and beautiful when I am with you;
Because I see through your eyes what I fail to see at times too.

I love you my husband more than words could truly ever express;
It is with breath that is bated that I eagerly await what is next.

My partner, my lover, my equal, my friend;
I promise to continue to love you faithfully, honor and respect you, and cherish you until the end.




Happy Anniversary Terry.

I am ALL About the Give-A-Ways!!!

So we all know our great friend Wendy over at A Couple More Hours, right?! You are missing out BIG time if you don’t, I'm just say'n. Well she is a very talented and crafty person and she happens to be having a fun give-a-way over at her blog that I very much want to win!!


You can gain entry into the give-a-way by visiting her blog HERE.

Ooooooops, did I send you to the wrong site, my bad…..I would never  try to detour any of you from registering for this give-a-way to increase my chances of winning. That would just be evil and we all know I am anything but evil! Mwah ahahahaha.

Now, I think there are multiple ways to enter, but you don’t need to worry yourself with those details. All you need to do is stay away from go over to her blog (there is a link somewhere on my blog) and comment ONE time on her post. But just once, I don’t think she wants her comments section all filled up with your remarks….so please be mindful of that.

I really want to win and am sharing this with you all because I want 3 more entries she is a good friend who is crazy talented and I want people to see the cool stuff she makes before it ends up at my house.

So visit this crafty chica’s blog in 2 days or so! Oh, and if you want, feel free to leave your entry comment here on MY blog and I will make sure that W. gets them before 8pm on Friday. What, it is over Wednesday….oh that is my bad again.



Seriously though....GO TO HER WEBSITE!  She rocks.

Shameless Tastefully Simple Party Plug!

With the Fall & Winter months quickly approaching, now is the PERFECT time to enjoy some of the delicious, easy & new foods that Tastefully Simple has to offer! I will have a smorgasbord of tasty samples at my party that will have you drooling for more...no worries, I have napkins & we will be amongst friends! I hope to see you at my party but if you are unable to make it this time, you can browse the online store... by visiting the link below and make sure to select ME (Jenn Howard) as your host prior to checkout!




(Copy and paste this link: www.tastefullysimple.com/web/aanderson11 or just Click HERE)


Feel free to share this link with your friends and family....you are ALL invited and ANYONE can order if they want!! When ordering online there is no pressure at all, it is easy to order and the products will be delivered right to your home quickly!!


Please RSVP and let me know how many will be attending or if you have more questions about the party or products, feel free to send me an email at jennperko@hotmail.com.


Also, I am in the process of becoming a consultant in the area so if you are interested in hosting your OWN party or would like to be included on an email list when I re-order products just send me a message anytime!



THANK YOU!!

Lost In Thought

Just because you can wear something doesn’t always mean you should.



Today’s lost thought was dedicated to those who make interesting choices in their attire…..that includes you lady at the Black Swamp Arts Festival wearing a scarf, a big hat, boots, too short/too tight shorts, and one of those big colorful hemp like sweaters.

Really?! – Recipe Edition

So I am sitting at home waiting for everyone else to come home so we can finally eat the amazing smelling Pot Roast that has been cooking in the crock-pot all day. If that wasn’t torture enough, I am also watching the food network…..which I do a lot when I am hungry. Weirdo.


While watching the food network I watched something I had to blog about. Well we all know Paula Deen doesn’t really cook "healthy food" and more so cooks food that the fat & unhealthy person in all of us really loves to eat. Which is a good thing, because we all need to splurge on occasion. However, every now and then she cooks something so crazy that even that fat person in all of us becomes health conscious and thinks “Really?!  I don't think I would eat that.  I mean it is just not right”. I witnessed one of those recipes moments ago.

The episode is all about bananas. Really?!  Bananas you say?  How does Paula make bananas ridiculous?

Let me tell you.

- She greases both a casserole pan and 12 slices of white bread with what appears to be a vat of butter
- Lays 6 slices of butter bread on the bottom of the casserole dish
- Layers 8 thinly sliced pieces of lunchmeat ham over the bread
- Layers 4 thinly sliced bananas on top of the ham
- Adds the other 6 pieces of buttered white bread
- Over the entire casserole she sprinkles 2 cups cheddar cheese, 2 cups crushed potato chips, and 6 slices cooked and chopped bacon
- THEN she whisks together 4 eggs, 1 cup milk, & 1 cup cream into a custard and pours that over everything and bakes it for 45 minutes.

(I will let you digest that)
I mean come on, REALLY?! Really Paula, you would eat that? Oh wait, you just did. I mean seriously, did you just give up and let your 3 year old nephew pick items he wanted to eat? Or is it really just that hard for you to find ways to incorporate fruit into your recipes other than when it is fried or in a pie?

Now I give people the benefit of the doubt with interesting combinations of food because I, myself, like to put very odd combinations of food together (I do love a pickle, cheese, mayo and chip sandwich once every year or so) but REALLY this just sounds gross? I am fairly certain that even someone who is stoned would see this dish and say no thanks and just eat some stale saltines and chocolate syrup.

Come on Paula. Stick to the delicious fat foods we all love and keep your fruits fried up or in pies only.

Just Thinking.....

T & I will be celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary (and 10 years of being together) next week! We typically do not get gifts or cards for each other and instead devour enjoy a small chocolate cake with white icing from Wixey Bakery (drool) and then dinner whenever we can find a free evening. We then get into our sexy comfy clothes and stare into each other’s eyes sit on separate couches and watch TV…..or at least until our food digests and we can roll off the couch to make our way to our separate DVR’s to watch our own shows. It is nice.


However, out of curiosity I looked online to see what the traditional anniversary gift is for 4 years. Well it happens to be flowers & fruit. Yes, I thought it was weird too, but it did get me thinking that this must be exactly why Edible Arrangements was created!  It is genius….flowers AND fruit in ONE! What husband or wife wouldn’t love a $40 basket of semi-old fruits in weird shapes on sticks?

Don’t be surprised Terry if you find one at NAPA waiting for you next week! I am sure you and the guys will love it.


Any favorite anniversary memories, traditions, stories you would like to share with the group?!  Keep it clean-ish folks...not for me, I am a perv, but maybe for my fellow readers :)

I Really Don’t Get It.

So I am not what one would call “fashion forward” and may not be the best judge of what is hip. Do we still say hip? I don’t really follow what is trendy in fashion/pop culture because I know most women only look good in 5% of what celebrities are actually wearing. I prefer comfort over style and hate shopping and spending a lot of money on clothes unless I can wear that piece of clothing all the time and with pretty much everything else I own. I tend to stay in the neutral color tones and am content wearing many different shades of grey, black, green & blue. I adore fashion shows, but when I watch things like Project Runway I only agree with the judges 30% of the time. And as we speak I am sitting in yoga pants, green & blue argyle knee socks, pink slippers, a red sweatshirt, and I have a multi-color piece of random fabric in my hair in place of a headband because I love it.

See, I love my fabric headband….

My point is, I get it….I am not the best judge of fashion. But I do know when something doesn’t make sense and should be removed from the stores promptly and that is why I have to say I just do not for the life of me get Gladiator Sandals and/or Gladiator Boots.

Now I know these came out a couple years ago, but I had really hoped it was just a phase and a bad judgment call by some designers and they would be gone by now and after one season we would never see them again. But they are still around and becoming ridiculous!

OK, maybe a simple and semi-understated gladiator sandal like this…

......would look good on some people (especially when worn with jeans). But I just don't get them in general, I mean isn't the idea to elongate your legs and not cut them off at the ankles? These shoes definitely cut off your legs when you wear them with anything other than jeans.  If you do not have large calves, are the right height, the right age, and have great legs these would look "good" on you. But then they (the crazy designers of the fashion world)  went from a simple shoe to a shoe that now has a life of its own.

SEE!

Now they are like part boot, part leg warmer, part sandal, part S&M shoe, part where is the rest of your shoe, and part WTF is going on with your legs?!?!?! IT IS TOO MUCH   There is a difference between cute strappy sandal (which I like) and an unfinished one that cuts your legs in weird places. Seriously, where is the rest of my shoe?! If I am wearing a shoe that in theory is suppose to come up anywhere from your ankle to mid calf I want the whole shoe that I am paying for….not just pieces of it. It looks like the shell of what could be a cool shoe but was never finished because the cobbler left for Mojitos and passed out the night before the shoes were to be displayed at Fashion Week. And now we are left with pieces of shoes that look very uncomfortable, have no arch support (which is important in my older age), and makes your calves look like sausages.

And the worst part is that even though the celebrities may be starting to move on to other styles (though someone needs to take all of the Olsen twins gladiator shoes away from them STAT) now the general public is starting to wear these shoes more often and I have to tell you…..it ain’t pretty.  Maybe because I live in a college town and I am exposed to girls who study the “show” Jersey Shore instead of studying where Jersey is on a map, I feel like this particular bad fashion is everywhere I look. And unfortunately mama isn’t there to tell Brittni she doesn't look like a greek goddess but rather the court jester; and instead she has a bunch of drunk girlfriends who are going to let her go out in public wearing those dreadful shoes and flattering her on how great they look because they saw Audrina where them on The Hills and she looked awesome.

Sigh

So my point of this post?  If you can pull the more simple ones off in a fashionable way, please do.  I guess I just do not like seeing 20 year olds squeeze their legs into these while they wear cotton shorts with BGSU on the butt, a too tight tank, and a scarf.  There are other people to get your fashion image from other than girls from The Hills.

Day 1 of Vacation….And The Verdict Is???

Not what I expected.

Today was soooooo not what I expected that I decided to share. (See I am trying to get better about blogging more so you have to deal with my lame posts now too!)



So yesterday you saw what Belle did to me within the first few hours of my vacation day. (If not read the previous post) As punishment I forced her to lie on the couch with me for 30 minutes while I cuddled her. She hated it and was very annoyed. We are now even.


So what happened today? Well I woke up with a Urinary Tract Infection. sigh Unfortunately when I woke up (due to the UTI) it was still too early to call the doctor so I just had to lay there for a couple hours in between my frequent trips to the bathroom. After scheduling my appointment and chugging a couple big glasses of water I arrived at my 9:40 doctor appointment. As soon as I arrived they told me they were very backed up and it would be awhile. Now I have had many UTI’s in the past (I blame Terry) and besides the constant pain, urge of having to pee, and slight burning; I also become very very warm. So I sat down and instantly start sweating all over and getting the urge to go. I was a hot mess. I seriously looked like a junkie looking for their next hit. I asked if I could use the bathroom now and give them their urine sample….you know since I couldn’t hold it anymore and looked like a wet dog who just got in a fight (thanks again Belle). They graciously said yes, as I imagine they were afraid of me.


After obtaining my sample I am sitting on the toilet and need to wipe off my cup like a responsible person before I lay it down anywhere. So I reach for the toilet paper and the roll falls off the holder startling me and bumping my cup which then…..you might have guessed it…..spills urine ALL OVER ME. (I will wait for the ewwwws to stop.) Yep, there is nothing like spilling urine on you when you already look and feel like crap to just make you feel that much better. So after spending way too long in the bathroom I finally emerged with half a sample, little dignity, sweaty armpits, frizzy hair, and an aroma that I imagine a 90 year old who wears depends has. I was gross.


While in the waiting room I used the restroom 4 more times and then 2 more times once I was in an exam room. I do have to say there were all women working today and they were incredibly understanding. I really felt bad both physically and because I felt like a giant pain in the ass (or urethra) but they were so kind about the whole thing and actually pushed to get me through as fast as they could….aka in 1 hour.


After that hour in the doctor’s office I then spent 2 ½ hours going to the hospital lab to “drop off” my sample (and by drop off I mean register and wait to drop off my sample), at the pharmacy getting my prescription filled, at the store getting all my special pills & juices, and in a variety of disgusting bathrooms along the way. Talk about fun. When I got home I took any and all pills I had bought, inhaled a bagel BELT from Tim Hortons (it seriously never saw me coming), and then turned the shower on extra hot and sat…yes sat…in the shower for 20 minutes just forgetting about the past 3 ½ hours and waiting for the pain to go away. Oh and rinsing any urine off me.




But fear not fellow blog readers, I have not let these events ruin my day! Since it is just me tonight I am going to bake cookies for this weekend, watch some cheesy movie, enjoy a spinach & mushroom frozen pizza, drink my cranberry juice out of a fancy cup and pretend it has alcohol in it, and enjoy an evening with fewer bathroom breaks than this morning.


Yep, it may not have been that bad of a day. Well except for the spilling urine on myself….I mean really Jenn.

This Will Teach Me

So Belle bitch slapped me today while we were trying to cram load her into the cat carrier. She hates (understatement) leaving the house and really who could blame her….it is ridiculously hot out. She just did not want to leave because she knew it was to the vet as that is the only place we take her. I can’t get too mad at her for totally clawing up my face as I would have probably done the same thing if I knew I was going to the Dr. to get my anal glands squeezed.

I have to say my vanity did come out a bit when I repeatedly asked Terry if it was going to scar as she did get pretty deep with her claws. After repeatedly telling me no, at least not noticeably (great) I then asked if I would now get toxoplasmosis and immediately Googled it to see if I had any symptoms. Yes, I asked that question and was serious….but it shouldn’t be a surprise as WebMD is one of my favorite websites. And for the record the flu like symptoms take a day or so to show up....so I am not out of the clear yet.

In other news:

I am taking 5 ½ days of work! Holla. The last time I took a long weekend like this was when we got married in 2006. T. is taking the same out of time and I must say we both need this. Plans for the next few days involve a few trips to Starbucks, a bagel belt mid-morning (possibly on multiple days), sleeping in, working on a wall décor project that I am painting, visiting people at Lakeside, going to the Hancock County Fair, sitting on the couch, messing around online, watching at least one cheesy romantic comedy, and maybe a few other things here & there. I am very non-committal about the whole weekend so we will see what really happens….well except for the Starbucks and bagel belt - that will happen.

Also, I am soooooo happy this weekend is going to be nice and cool. I love Fall and this weekend’s weather sounds perfect. We got a little hosed last year with Fall weather….summer lasted too long and fall didn’t last long enough. So I say bring on Fall weather now!

I hope everyone has fun and safe Labor Day weekends!


Any big plans you would like to share? Not that I would be bored this weekend and just pop up at your family cookouts…ok maybe I would. So whatcha doing, where you going to be.... she asked in a non-stalker way?!

Talk To Me – Quinoa

So I have heard a lot of talk the past few months about eating Quinoa. Basically “quinoa is a grain-like crop grown primarily for its edible seeds. Quinoa also has become highly appreciated for its nutritional value, as its protein content is very high (12%–18%). Unlike wheat or rice (which are low in lysine), and like oats, quinoa contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making it an unusually complete protein source among plant foods.[5] It is a good source of dietary fiber and phosphorus and is high in magnesium and iron. Quinoa is gluten-free and considered easy to digest.”


Sounds like it should be good for you, no?!

As I have been trying to eat healthy I thought I would give it a try. I get that you can use it in place of dishes with rice and Josey over at My Cheap Version of Therapy had a few great sounding recipes for quinoa meals! But I made a batch tonight and I have to admit, it is a little bland on its own and I am not sure how to use it in a healthy way for lunch. I googled some recipes and there were a few that sounded really good but I like stuff with lots of flavor and not just veggies but also something lighter for lunch.


SO before I go experimenting, has anyone ever used it before and/or have some good and easy lunch ideas to share?! Any thoughts on quinoa & recipes?

Really?! – Cell Phone Picture Edition

So here are a few pictures taken the past couple weeks on my cell phone that make me just think….Really?! (Yes, Like Seth & Amy on SNL)



Really Antique Mall in Findlay, Ohio?! You felt that you just had to put creepy porcelain doll wall paper up in your bathroom? I know you sell antiques and all, but what about finding wall paper with old books or antique toys without faces or I don’t know anything else aged that ISN’T a creepy doll?  Or hey, even better, how about just some fancy design like normal businesses have?  I mean really, do you not want people to use your restrooms?  Or maybe you literally want to scare the shit out of people when they are using your facilities as some sick joke.  What kind of creep does that?!  I mean come on, really.  That wall paper is one of the scariest things I have ever seen….I felt those creepy dolls, along with that little clown, were peering into my soul. Really.

Really Yoplait? “Thick & Creamy”?!  I know this isn’t new or anything, but I have always had a problem with it. Thick and Creamy. Was that the best name your marketing company could come up with? I mean really?! Were you all snickering as you came up with this or did you really think making a Thick and Creamy product line was an awesome way to sell your product. Yes, I know I usually “go there” and love a good sexual innuendo, but come on….who wants to stare at those words while trying to enjoy a tasty, 100 calorie snack. I mean really.

Really cats?  Did you not think we would notice the curtain hanging off the door window when we got home? And what were you three up to that would cause the curtain to “fall” down? Did you think you could look out the window?  Did you want to scare the mail-ma'am?  I mean really, what were you trying to accomplish with this besides making more of a mess in the house? I get it, the curtain isn’t that great but that is no reason to jump up and attempt to rip it down. Come on cats, at the best stretched out you are each no more than 3 feet and you do not have thumbs….so I do not know how you did this but there is nothing you need with that curtain. Really cats. 

2010 – The Year of Busted Stuff

So I try not to complain too much (though my husband may respectfully disagree) but there is a trend I am noticing for this year and I have to say that I am not so much a fan of it.



So what is the trend? All our shit is breaking!


Yep, I believe 2010 is the year that all our crap breaks….and is also the year of the Tiger (of the Tiger getting caught with a couple dozen mistresses…say what!)

 Now it is common for things to break here and there….but this year it seems to be almost like some running joke in our house, albeit a sick joke that makes me want to cry and eat a bag of pretzels and Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, but a joke nevertheless. Now I am not looking for sympathy with this post (though please feel free to send donations c/o HOWARD RELIEF 2010 and in the memo – “Busted Stuff”) so please do not take it that way. But because of the absolutely absurd amount of crap that has broke not even 9 months into the year I feel it is my duty (teehee) to share because seriously, it is just crazy.


Stuff is just reaching that time where things naturally need fixed. My car is a 2001 Honda and is AMAZING (I heart Hondas) but as it approaches 10 years old it needs some basic fixes to keep it going another 10 years. Terry’s car is a 1991 VW (T. hearts VW’s) and it needs work to keep it going a few more years. The house was built in 1980 and has many original items, and therefore all that stuff is starting to need a little work…..kind of like me. Stuff just be getting old.  Plus I would much rather all this happen this year then next when T. is gone. And after 2010 is over we should seriously be all fixed up for awhile….and what isn’t fixed is getting duct taped.




So what is on our list this year of shit that decided to stop working?


1. Heater broke. Yep, on a very cold evening in January we lost heat. Brrrrrrr. Furnace = Fixed.
However a new furnace will be needed in about 3 years. = sigh
New coils were also fixed in the basement as they were starting to go bad and they were there to fix it then.


2. Volkswagen needed some new belt thing = Fixed


3. VW needs brakes, shocks & struts and rotors turned = Waiting to be fixed


4. Honda air conditioned broke this summer = Fixed


5. New battery for Honda = Fixed


6. Back shocks and struts on Honda needed replaced = Fixed


7. Front shock and struts on Honda need replaced = Waiting to be fixed.


8. New tires on Honda before November = Waiting to be fixed.


9. Honda started making a new noise when braking = Next on list to be fixed


10. There was a recall on the Honda for a switch that needed fixed. = Fixed…FOR FREEEEEE!


11. Computer’s power supply broke = Fixed


12. Dishwasher broke = New dishwasher with the help of my awesome parents! THANK YOU!!!


13. Air conditioned just started making this horrible noise when it shuts off and needs looked at = Waiting till Fall to look at it.


14. 17 year old washer decided to stop working 2 weeks ago…mid cycle of course = New washer purchased


15. Got a call from T. Monday saying that as he was heading to lunch his axel & some kind of ball joint thing on his car fell off and basically his tire was barely hanging on. (For the record can I just say I do NOT care about the car in this case and just that T. was in a parking lot at work and not on the highway going to class. My stomach turns thinking what might have happened if this would have broke even 20 minutes later. Losing a wheel on the highway at 70 mph. I seriously feel sick.) = Fixed.


16. After that little scare T. asked the shop to inspect the car thoroughly and see what else needs updated. We got a list that includes a few more things not previously mentioned above like a new exhaust, tires, and a couple other smaller items. = Waiting to be fixed



The thing is our cars are actually really great cars, though from the sounds of it I am sure no one wants to ride with us! It is just stuff that happens over time and needs taken care of. The good thing about all the car stuff is that 1) Terry works at NAPA and can get parts there for a deal 2) he has worked with some of the shops in town for nearly 15 years and that is nice because they don’t always charge for all the BS (like buying parts)…just their labor, 3) if we can invest some money now it will allow us to not have to make a car payment for at least 2 years until after he graduates from CCMS which is going to be huge, and 4) Terry can do some of this stuff himself which saves money.


YES it is VERY frustrating having this all happen at once but at the same time what can we do about it. Shit happens; and in our case shit happens and then breaks.  So you fix it an move on.  But if you cannot get ahold of me, please check any of the local repair shops in the area….or the ice cream section at Meijer.




This is ONE year. ONE FLIPP’N YEAR. Nuck’n Futs, right?!

Being a grown up is sooooo much fun :)

Shameless Plug or Fun Invitation?! Tastefully Simple is in the House!!

Beer Bread and Mixes and Desserts....OH MY!!!

So my wonderful cousin who lives in my hometown has decided to become a Tastefully Simple consultant. Now as my cousin is gracious enough to drive 3 hours and I have been considering becoming a consultant up here, cannot turn down a party, and can definitely NOT turn down a party all about FOOD I am going to be hosting a party of my own on Saturday, September 25 at 2:00p.m.!


I am sending out an open invitation (so you can get an invitation) to anyone who would like to come over to my house for a few delightful Tastefully Simple treats or would like to order something in anticipation of the Fall and Winter months!

Just so you know, the new Fall-Winter Catalog will be out very soon and since I saw a sneak peek I can say it is jammed packed with all of your old favorites as well as SOOOO many tasty treats specifically for the colder months! Plus there are over 25 NEW products available! Not to be bias, but the Fall catalog is my favorite…as it is hard to go wrong with Oh My! Chia, Pumpkin Patch Bread Mix, and Creamy Potato Soup! *drool*

So if you are looking for some delicious and easy items to help you through the holidays, gift ideas for friends/family, or just want to try some delectable food please let me know!

Please feel free to comment on the blog and leave your email or email me at jennperko@hotmail.com if you are interested in receiving an invitation to the party so you can hang out with me and eat some fun food or if you would like a link so you can purchase stuff online!! I have a list already started, but just so I do not forget anyone please let me know by Sunday as I will be sending out invitations then!!

A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

As I seem to be having difficulty of late writing any sort of blog post interesting or otherwise, I thought in an attempt to make an effort to blog more frequently I would do a completely haphazard blog of things that I am thinking and feel like sharing. So please enjoy these few tasty morsels of randomness.



- See that little girl with me? I love her and she makes me smile.

Her name is Macey and she is ADORABLE, HILARIOUS, and SO STINK’N SMART! (So is the girl next to her…but we already knew that.) I also love her mommy very much too and was SOOOO excited when a couple weekends ago my cousin, her husband and their daughter Macey spent the entire weekend in our house!! We colored, played, watched kids shows I had never heard of!!! Having a child in the house was awesome, hilarious, eye opening, and tiring….I loved it. 

Her and her new friend Ivan!  It is hilarious watching two 3 year olds interact.

Here they are being crazy.

Basically because they wouldn't just lay there for a real picture!

And here they are teaching my sister a lesson. 

Don't worry, she was ok and only suffered minor injuries.

- So we my sister got a another cat. Another cat you say? Don’t you already have two too many? Egad…I can’t believe you would say that!! In a moment of weakness for cute kittens and so I could nurture something I agreed to let Kristen get a kitten. (For the record T. agreed too and said “I don’t care, she can do whatever the hell she wants but I am not going to f@$k’n take care of it for her. Oh and she better pick one that is cute and gets along with our cats." Translation: “I really want another kitten so of course.”) 

This is Charlie. (He is waving hello)

He is a pet of Lucifer bit of a handful, but when he is asleep and not moving he is adorable…and a cuddlier, which is purrrfect. (sorry)

This is him trying to figure out why he can now lay flat. 

It is because they just took his little kitten balls from him.

"Someone get me my evening paper, cigar, and warm glass of milk!! 

I had a hard day and wish to relax....is that too much to ask for?!"

"What about now?  Is this sexy?"

He is a little cuddle bug....I enjoy that and he enjoys how soft and squishy I am.  He can stay!f

- I bought this nail polish from Rite Aid a few backs back and I have to say I LOVE IT. It is from Sally Hanson and called Complete Salon Manicure. The idea is that all 5 steps of a manicure are in a bottle. (Base Coat, Strengthener, Growth Treatment, Color, Top Coat.) Now for the record I bought this stuff only for the color below (Fairy Teal….awesome) and I still used a base and top coat because, well I didn’t even realize it was a 5 in 1 until a couple days after I used it. Top coat or not this stuff goes on beautifully, comes in SO many fun colors, lasts a long time (mine lasted nearly 3 weeks…but I cleaned with bleach which didn’t help), isn’t clumpy or thick, and has really fun nail polish names! It also has a different design of a brush, which I wasn’t sure of at first but then thought was rather brilliant. I also got Commander in Chic which I will be trying this weekend.

Pretty

 

I heart these colors.

Funky brush but works wonderfully.

- I bought these gaucho pants at Target.com for $10! Yep, very comfy and just something to lounge around in or wear out to do errands. I enjoy them a lot. The material is a bit on the thinner side, so take that into consideration when buying them….but remember they are only $10 so you can’t beat that for lounging pants! But seriously, if you have any cellulite (and so help the person who says they do not) you may want to avoid white as I am sure it will show everything. But black and brown, like I got, are well worth it!

- These are my other cats. They saw I put something on here about Charlie and got pissed and tried to ship him to Bali so I promised I would put pictures of them on the blog if they unwrapped him from the bubble wrap….or at the least poked holes in the box.

Sebastian being fancy for the camera.

This was Belle being dramatic. 

She was laying over the steps looking down and meowing and then.....

......She pretend to fall down the step.  Drama queen.

- I have officially lost 50 pounds in a year. I am excited as it is about a pound a week, but really wanted to lose more as I still have a ways to go. Slow and steady right?! At this rate I should be at my ideal weight right before I hit menopause! But seriously, I am excited…hopefully by this time next year I will be at my goal weight.

- I have always been indifferent about The White Strips but lately I cannot stop listening to them. Their music can be rough and sound like a mess, but it is actually fantastic. I watched their documentary on Showtime called Under Great White Northern Lights that came out last year and it is awesome.  My husband also told me to watch It Might Get Loud with Jimmy Page, The Edge & Jack White.  Suh-weet.

A little random fact….their song “We're Going to be Friends” is the song played at the beginning of Napoleon Dynamite.

Ok, that is it.  I think I have bored you enough! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLEE!!

Someone very special to all of us is having a birthday today!!! (And may also find out the gender of her newest pretzel!)


Happy Birthday to Kylee over at TwoPretzels.


Kylee, I think everyone would agree with me in saying that you are one of the kindest, funniest, most creative, stylish, beautiful people we know…seriously you are just wonderful. And besides being such an awesome person with fantastic hair, you are an amazing mother and a truly wonderful friend. Oh, and your blog just rocks.

I am soooo glad to have met you that fateful day at OCC and am truly inspired by the strong, confident and amazing women you are!

Happy Birthday my friend!!



Sending HUGS to you today. Love you

Geico....You are Some Funny People

I am not a big fan of many commercials because they are just boring and I am glad 85% of the T.V. we watch is recorded so we can fast forward through commercials that are not funny (sorry commercials, I wish you were funny for both of our sakes). But I have to say that one of the few commercials I stop at and will actually rewind to watch are the newer Geico commercials. They are WHO-larious!

You know which ones I am talking about right...click here.

Does Elmer Fudd have troubles with the letter R? "Wabbits. Wabbits. Ah this director is wubbing me the wong way."

Does a former drill sergeant make a terrible therapist?...."Tissue? (Throws box) Cry Baby."

Or how about the Honest Abe commercial?! Is honest Abe really honest? "Does this dress make my backside look big? (insert uncomfortable expressions) Perhaps a ...."

So have you seen the newest one?!  Oh my gosh, I watched it four times because I couldn't stop laughing.

Did the little piggy cry wee wee wee all the way home?



Genius.  I really believe I would like the people who come up with these Geico commercials as I love funny people.  It is simple but very clever humor. LOVE. IT.

Any favorite commercials?

Terry-ism: Reason # 1,487 Why I LOVE This Man

I came home the other day after work to see Terry chill’n (yes chill'n, not chilling) on the couch watching TV. I sit down beside him and notice he is watching Bewitched circa Darrin #2 and the following conversation takes place:


Me: “Watching Bewitched, huh?”
T: “No.”
Me: “Terry I see it on the TV, what do you mean you are not watching it?”
T: “I was really watching this.” Switches to a different channel.
Me: “What is this?”
T: “Charmed. Bewitched is my back up channel for when there are commercials.”

The conversation basically ended there because all I could really do was smile. Yes my long haired, metal head husband watches Charmed & Bewitched. It has been 10 years together and he is still an enigma to me.


I love you Terry.

"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!"

(Anyone guess what famous TV show that quote is from? Mickey D. I know will get it!)


So I went to the movie theater a couple weekends ago and I was flabbergasted…yes flabbergasted to see there were NO Junior Mints being sold at the concession stand. (Pause for audible gasp from readers) Now I prefer salty foods over sweet foods, but do enjoy the occasional sweet treat…..especially at the movie theater. So when I go to a big chain theater where I pay $8 to get in during the day and see a piss poor selection of candy I feel it is my responsibility, nah, duty to my fellow Americans to point out this travesty.

In my opinion there are 5 candies that I feel are true movie theater candies and should be available at every theater AT ALL TIMES…no questions asked and Junior Mints are most definitely one of those candies. Now I do not necessarily like all these candies, but if I had* to pick just five, then in my mind these are the candies. (*Who said I had to pick just five? Me. I like lists. Preferably Top 5 lists. See High Fidelity….you will understand.)

The Top 5 Candies That Should Be Required BY LAW To Be At EVERY Movie Theater In The World.

1. Junior Mints
2. Sno-Caps
3. Reese’s Pieces
4. Gummi Worms or Bears
5. Sour Patch Kids

Now as we live in a country where it seems even our options have options I feel it should be good to also have on hand all or any of the following: Twizzlers, Sweet-Tarts, Skittles, Sweedish Fish, M&M’s, & Whoppers as they too are wonderful movie theater candy. There can be a sub-law for these candies.

The theater I went to had a few of these candies, but not all. No instead my options were some Wonka Bars…which are very delicious but NOT a movie theater candy; Cookie Dough bites…WTF are those?!; Some fancy chocolates which I will not even acknowledge as movie theater candy; and a few other jank-ass candies I have never seen before because I most likely choose to overlook them on the basis that they suck. I mean REALLY, these are the candies you are going with? I was very underwhelmed.

If I am going to pay $4 a bag for $1.50 worth of candy I don’t want any of this new age candy crap, I want the classics. Now true, I could sneak my candy in like many people but I have to say that in the off chance I do want candy there is just something childlike and nostalgic about peering into the glass windows where the candy is so beautifully displayed that makes me want to get my candy there instead of just pulling half melted candy out of my purse. However, peering into a glass cabinet seeing nothing more than some random product placement candy put there by the higher ups within this theater’s corporate juggernaut marketing department who know not a thing about what great candy is because they are too busy sipping on their wheatgrass and kissing each others arses does nothing more than make me annoyed and unwilling to compromise on my candy morals (not to be confused with candy morsels).

Overall I was very disappointed that Junior Mints were not even an option (also not an option Reese’s Pieces, Sour Patch Kids, Twizzlers, Sweedish Fish, & Whoppers), especially at a place that serves multiple flavors of ice cream, iced coffee, pizza, chili cheese fries, and a variety of other junk foods that while good are not conducive to the movie watching experience. I mean seriously – popcorn, candy and pop should be more than enough! I think that their priorities are just not right.

Sigh

So what are your favorite movie theater candies?

Movie Review – Inception

Here, is my review of Inception. GO SEE IT.


Don’t ask any questions. Don’t over think it. Don’t wait for it to come out on DVD. Just go see it and thank me later for pushing you to see it.

Seriously, I was not sure about this movie at all. I wanted to see it because it looked interesting and I like Christopher Nolan but honestly, I thought it would be a huge disappointment. But it wasn’t. I thought it wouldn’t make sense, but it did (though you really DO have to pay attention and be open to the story line.)

As simply as I can explain it…it was ORIGINAL. It was not a sequel to something, not based on a book or comic book, it was not a retelling of something else. It was simply an original movie that made you think. It may not be for everyone, but I think everyone can appreciate what this movie does and how entertaining it truly is.

I don’t want to build it up anymore so I am going to stop right here in the hopes that I have said enough to convince you to go see it.


RATING: Jumbo Popcorn w/ salt and extra butter, Jumbo Mountain Dew, your favorite candy, and share pretzel bites with cheese.

T & I have our movie rating scale. The H-Plus Rating Scale.
 

If you HAVE seen it, please let me know your thoughts in the comments. However, try not to give the end away just incase people do read the comments section.




SPOILERS MAY BE IN THE COMMENT SECTION

Is My Husband Trying to Kill Me?!

Ok, for the record I am very certain my husband is not trying to kill me, however I would not be surprised if he is trying subconsciously to have me take off a few appendages.


Last week Terry came home with a “present” for me. It was a rather large pocket knife. What I have always wanted. When it is out in its full glory it is about an 8 1/2” long & 1” wide (hey oooooooh) pocket knife that on the handle also has one of those knobby things (technical terminology) that breaks through your car windows. He said he got it for me for my safety, which I would agree with if it wasn’t for the fact that I am incredibly clumsy. Seriously, my parents call me Grace and it is actually pronounced with a hint of sarcasm over the long A and prefaced with “way to go”. So because my husband knows I absolutely can NOT walk down a hall without at least bouncing off one of the walls or objects in the hall along the way, I don’t see how he can even think for a moment that giving me a knife is a good thing. Well unless of course he wants me to take off a few un-needed appendages.

Example. Sunday I went to Rite Aid to pick up a few things for the house. While there I found a cute headband and decided to purchase said headband. When I got in the car I noticed the headband was tied to a cardboard holder with industrial strength, government approved, Area 51 tested plastic. There was no getting this headband free with my weak little hands. But wait, I have a knife in my car….let me use that. Now before we go further and to remove any unnecessary suspense…yes I have all my fingers & toes and no blood was drawn.

So, I easily opened my knife and sawed my way through the packaging and was very proud that I didn’t hurt myself…..but figuring out how to close the knife was where things got tricky. I first tried to just bend it down – nope. Tried squeezing parts of the knife thinking it would unlock it – nope. Pushed anything that looked like a button on the knife and handle – nope. Tried hitting the back of the knife on the floor of my car thinking I just needed more force – nope. Seriously, I sat there for 5 minutes thinking what the hell I should do with this knife all awhile envisioning the many ways I could cut off a finger or stab myself in my attempts to close this knife. For a brief moment I thought I would drive with the knife open and let Terry close it at home, but as quickly as that thought came into my head so did the thought that I would slam on my brakes while driving and the knife would wiggle its way out from under my purse, fly in the air, and stab me. So I quickly nixed that idea for very obvious safety reasons. I also wondered if I could try to see if someone could help me, but was afraid that a suspicious looking girl with a knife might yield a scared response and not the helpful one I was looking for. And I didn’t want to call Terry, because honestly I didn’t want to let him know I was on to his plan….it is just better that way.

So I sat in my car in the Rite-Aid parking lot just looking at this knife (in the most inconspicuous way possible of course) trying to figure out how the hell to close this damn thing. And then I see it. At the base of the blade this little piece of metal I can push in WITH MY FINGER to release the lock and then push the blade down at the same time with my other hand just like a  little finger guillotine. Riiiiight. Tricky and again just another attempt for T. to get me to chop off my fingers. But alas, I got it closed and safely put away with absolutely no bloodshed. IN YOUR FACE TERRY!

I feel more comfortable with my knife at the moment, and by more comfortable I mean comfortable for someone who is clumsy, doesn’t like weapons and is pretty certain that I will one day draw blood but not actually cut off an entire finger with this knife. My husband also wants me to take gun classes so in a year when he moves away to school I will be safe…..riiiiiight again. I think instead of gun classes I am going to start with the ancient art of Karate and just get me some nunchucks instead.  I can just practice that on the Wii.

Ok, so maybe he isn’t technically trying to hurt me either….but come on it does seem just a little suspicious.


P.S. Looked....I blogged! Seriously it has been over a month!