Friday, September 03, 2010

Day 1 of Vacation….And The Verdict Is???

Not what I expected.

Today was soooooo not what I expected that I decided to share. (See I am trying to get better about blogging more so you have to deal with my lame posts now too!)

So yesterday you saw what Belle did to me within the first few hours of my vacation day. (If not read the previous post) As punishment I forced her to lie on the couch with me for 30 minutes while I cuddled her. She hated it and was very annoyed. We are now even.

So what happened today? Well I woke up with a Urinary Tract Infection. sigh Unfortunately when I woke up (due to the UTI) it was still too early to call the doctor so I just had to lay there for a couple hours in between my frequent trips to the bathroom. After scheduling my appointment and chugging a couple big glasses of water I arrived at my 9:40 doctor appointment. As soon as I arrived they told me they were very backed up and it would be awhile. Now I have had many UTI’s in the past (I blame Terry) and besides the constant pain, urge of having to pee, and slight burning; I also become very very warm. So I sat down and instantly start sweating all over and getting the urge to go. I was a hot mess. I seriously looked like a junkie looking for their next hit. I asked if I could use the bathroom now and give them their urine sample….you know since I couldn’t hold it anymore and looked like a wet dog who just got in a fight (thanks again Belle). They graciously said yes, as I imagine they were afraid of me.

After obtaining my sample I am sitting on the toilet and need to wipe off my cup like a responsible person before I lay it down anywhere. So I reach for the toilet paper and the roll falls off the holder startling me and bumping my cup which then… might have guessed it…..spills urine ALL OVER ME. (I will wait for the ewwwws to stop.) Yep, there is nothing like spilling urine on you when you already look and feel like crap to just make you feel that much better. So after spending way too long in the bathroom I finally emerged with half a sample, little dignity, sweaty armpits, frizzy hair, and an aroma that I imagine a 90 year old who wears depends has. I was gross.

While in the waiting room I used the restroom 4 more times and then 2 more times once I was in an exam room. I do have to say there were all women working today and they were incredibly understanding. I really felt bad both physically and because I felt like a giant pain in the ass (or urethra) but they were so kind about the whole thing and actually pushed to get me through as fast as they could….aka in 1 hour.

After that hour in the doctor’s office I then spent 2 ½ hours going to the hospital lab to “drop off” my sample (and by drop off I mean register and wait to drop off my sample), at the pharmacy getting my prescription filled, at the store getting all my special pills & juices, and in a variety of disgusting bathrooms along the way. Talk about fun. When I got home I took any and all pills I had bought, inhaled a bagel BELT from Tim Hortons (it seriously never saw me coming), and then turned the shower on extra hot and sat…yes sat…in the shower for 20 minutes just forgetting about the past 3 ½ hours and waiting for the pain to go away. Oh and rinsing any urine off me.

But fear not fellow blog readers, I have not let these events ruin my day! Since it is just me tonight I am going to bake cookies for this weekend, watch some cheesy movie, enjoy a spinach & mushroom frozen pizza, drink my cranberry juice out of a fancy cup and pretend it has alcohol in it, and enjoy an evening with fewer bathroom breaks than this morning.

Yep, it may not have been that bad of a day. Well except for the spilling urine on myself….I mean really Jenn.


  1. Awe...sorry!!

    UTIs are the WORST!!! And peeing in a cup....someone needs to invent a better way. It blows. I always pee on myself. Always. And I get stage fright. I feel like the nurse it just waiting outside the door, listening for me, and I feel like I have to rush and then I can't go. I'm a hot mess. ...and when you're pregnant, they make you pee every.single.time. SUCKS!

    ...with that...have you tried drinking pure cranberry juice? I think the brand is Knudsen. It's awful, but I swear it helps me. I take a shot every day. Just plug your nose. ;)

  2. Oh dear friend, I adore you.

    And, I can't help it. I'm smiling. You CRACK me up. You're who-larious.

    I hope this discomfort (I blame Terry, too.) goes away STAT.

    Enjoy your fancy-glass of cranberry juice.

    (Try PLAIN yogurt and acidophilis (sp?) I SWEAR that works for me every time.)