So the other night I recorded the Duggar Family Wedding and I watched it last night. Now I do not watch this show regularly, but when I saw a preview for the wedding I decided to watch.
Now I would like to say for the record, though I would never ever have this many kids or even half as many kids as they have, nor would I choose to raise my kids in an overly religious or ultra conservative way – they seem to be doing a fantastic job with how they raise THEIR kids and all the kids seem to be happy, well-mannered and responsible kids/young adults. I am not trying to be overly critical and I hope I am not coming off as rude because they are just following their own set of beliefs.
(ok, now to contradict what I just said)
However, a couple things struck me as interesting while I was watching last night. First their son and now daughter-in-law only talked and held hands (while being chaperoned) before the wedding, they didn’t even kiss before the wedding, they saved their first kiss for the ceremony. They said it is to keep the purity of the relationship (which I totally respect) but I could never imagine not kissing someone before you marry them. Infact I think it is important to live with someone before you marry them, but that is just me. I mean they are only 20, so I guess at that age it is not too uncommon for a young adult to wait to kiss someone or wait till they are married to have intimate relations with their significant other.
But here is my only alarm….these young kids are getting married at the age of 20 and immediately starting a family. It seems like obviously family is important (which is great) but that getting married and having a family is the ONLY real priority in their life. Well that and religion. And like I said, I don’t think that is always a bad thing, but why so young?! In MY opinion, it just seems like these kids are pushed into getting married at an early age and starting a family. It seems as this is all they really know. And part of me also thinks that because they never do experience that physical connection it pushes them into something even faster….I mean they are 20 for goodness sake, what person that age isn’t interested in that physical aspect of a relationship – especially if you do love someone. So hey, lets get married. (I know, a little rude)
Like I said, how they live their life is not my concern, unless you are putting yourself and way of life out there. But more so, it is just a very interesting way of life they have. I don’t think their values are bad, I just also believe that though sometimes you may want to protect your kids, sometimes you need to let them take their own paths in their own time. If you did a good job raising them, they will figure it out and do what is right. And maybe for them getting married at the age of 20 and starting a family IS right, but is it right because they really want that relationship, or do they want the physical contact, or is it because that is ALL they know and don’t think of any different alternatives.
I don’t really know what my point it…..just open for discussion, your thoughts. Just don’t be nasty.
- It was interesting, all the girls said they would not date, but do the courtship*.
-That they all want large families and to get married young.
-The mom had boyfriends before and had a lot of baggage, hmmmm.
-The “Birds and the Bees” convo with the dad – awkward! Yeah dad, I will give you a call on my cell if we have questions on where things go.
* Courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval.