Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Change is Coming (long post)

This is where my mind has been the last few weeks:

So a little background about my husband. He is a manager at NAPA in BG. He has been with the company for nearly 12 years. He completed about 1 ½ - 2 yrs at BGSU where he was studying chemistry. Shit happened and he made the decision to put his degree on hold and work full-time. (Thank goodness or I may have never met him!) I met him in 2000 while I was in college. During the time we dated he took a couple classes at Owens here and there, but he just never found something that interested him and motivated him to complete a degree. I may be bias, but my husband is extremely smart which can also be a hindrance b/c though he could do pretty much anything he wants he over-analyzes everything and gets bored with things that don’t keep him stimulated and constantly thinking/learning. And there is no point in wasting your money & time on something you are not sure you want.

So fast-forward to the past couple years. Ever since they got new management at his work in 2006 T. has had to deal with broken promises, decreased pay, a lot A LOT of bullshit, extra long hours and just a stressful work place. During 2007 I had lost my job and then started something new in the fall so it wasn’t the best time for him to leave his job. So he deals with it, because that is how he is. He is amazing because I am convinced anyone else would have left that situation long ago to look for something else…but Terry is loyal and knows that he can’t just leave b/c things are tough. He decided to stick it out until the right moment came along.

Now present day. T. & I were talking one evening a couple months ago and he told me he has figured out what he wants to do for a career. Now for the past 8 years he has said one day he wants to open any or all of the following shops: coin, wine, record, or antique so I had it in my head that is what he meant. But boy was I wrong….

(out of nowhere conversation)
Terry: “I know what I want to do with my life. For a career.”
Me: “What are you thinking?”
T: “Well don’t let this catch you off guard but I have been thinking about this for awhile now and I really see it being a good job. A job that we can make a future with.”
Me: “Ok. What is it?” (Intrigued)
T: “Ok, I think I want to be a mortician. Go to Mortuary school.”
Me: “huh”…silence (I was not expecting that answer and I was letting it process)
T: “I mean someone has to do it and I like science and anatomy. And I think this would be something I will be good at.”
Me: “You know, I am really not that surprised. In some weird way I can see you doing this.”
T: “Yeah, me too. Cool. I think I am going to look into this.”
Me: “Well at least you should always have job security.”

So there it is ….my husband is about to go on a new and exciting journey! I am SO unbelievably pumped for him because I know this is something that will make him extremely happy career wise, something he has not been for some time now. To finally see him with some career goals, making plans for a future and excited about this new direction in his life makes me SO proud.

It will be an interesting transition, but it will totally be worth it. He is still looking into tuition and details for Owens and is looking to finish his associate’s degree starting in January for the next year or so and then he will be down in Cincinnati for about a 1 ½ (5 quarters) to complete his degree at the College of Mortuary Science. (His curriculum is actually pretty interesting, well except for the embalming classes.) It will be interesting being away from my husband for that long (if we stay up here)….I mean obviously we will try to get together on as many weekends as we can, but that is all part of getting to where you need to be, right? Sacrifices from both ends need to be made to complete a common goal – the goal being our future.

So now our plan is, get Terry through school. That's it. Of course I still want to go back to school to get my Masters in College Student Personnel, and we want to move go to Ireland and possibly have kids….but none of that is possible without this first step.

I know this isn't the biggest news ever but it is truly exciting for us! We have just kind of been in limbo about so much for the last year and a half it is so fantastic to finally have an idea of where we are going! And for my husband to finally be ready and excited about a new career is awesome!

On a side note. I WILL NOT be living in a funeral home. Nope, not happening.


  1. If you cave and end up living at the funeral home someday, I'll be dying to come visit.

    HA! Had to do it. Just had to.

    That's cool that he found something that interests him. Best of luck to him.

  2. how fun! congrats on deciding his future plans. i think morticians are pretty nice people from what i can gather. and i totally back your plan on NOT living in a funeral home. ewww.

  3. I know a mortician. Who lives in a funeral home. With his wife and kids. I'm glad you're not planning to live in one!

    Congrats to T. for finding this field and being excited about it.

    I'm happy for you both!

  4. In the past week I have met two other people who either are or will be morticians. One is in the Army and the other is a person my hubby works with.

    The one R. works with out of the blue said, "Hey, are you cool with dead bodies?" R. was like, "Uh... I guess, why?" Apparently funeral homes are always looking for people to be on call and take a van or hearse to the morgue and pick up the bodies and transport them to the funeral home. You make $75 a run....

    We'll see if this happens.

    (FYI - I had to look up how to spell both hearse and morgue... apparently I don't use those words often)

  5. I so think you guys need to move to Cincinnati. Like now. How fun would that be?!

  6. Congrats to you both of you! Tell Terri I said good luck:)

    (I also know a family of morticians who live in a funeral home... I wonder what the ratio is of those who do and those who don't?...)

  7. I'm really really proud of Terry taking this step. Like you said, he strangely fits into this job because of his views on death and funerals. I hope that it makes him happy and secure, because he really deserves to find a job that is worth his time.

  8. It kinda sucks that the word/term/occupation "mortician" has that little stigma around it, and makes people go "huh?" when you say it...because it's pretty awesome that people want to and can do it. It's needed, it's very needed, it should be respected more than a lot of occupations. So, congrats to Terry and you! It's awesome that he's figured out where he wants to take his life...always a big accomplishment in itself!

  9. K, the thought has crossed our mind! maybe someday ;)

    I agree that this is an occupation that has been made to feel like it is creepy or the person who is doing it is creepy. It should be more respected like a doctor. The more we are learning about it the more interesting it is. we'll see what happens!

    Oh, and Terry liked the comments!

  10. (I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this post.)

    #1. I don't blame you - I'd never live in a funeral home either. Ever.

    #2. I hope that this is something that T really enjoys and feels confident with.

    #3. Let's definitely change the word "mortician" to, "Life Transition Professional" or something like that. Something with less of a negative stigma.

    #4. My eyes water for the time that you two will spend apart... That was the most difficult thing for C. and I. But, sometimes, as you said - those sacrifices are necessary. Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.

  11. That is so awsome. Good luck with all of the plans and preparations. I will be thinking of you and wishing you well. Sad to think you will have to be apart, but what great future prospects. It is so important to have kind, caring, respectful people working in that field. I think it really takes a brave person to not only be willing to face death daily but to face the living who ae dealing with death. GOOD LUCK! I think this is a great decision.