Monday, May 12, 2008

I Think People are Just Trying To Piss Me Off Today.

So it is only noon and I have already been bombarded with many annoyances this morning. Today is infact a Monday. I am going to have to find something positive to post about to get me out of this funk, but first I must vent my frustrations.

Annoyance #1:
So there was this guy in the office today and he must have used EVERY cliché phrase out there. And he used them multiple times. I actually had to turn my music up louder to block out the pure ridiculousness of what he was saying.

Some of my “favorite” phrases I heard before I turned up my music: (and yes, he was referring to his work)

- I am already using my parachute; I don’t want to pull my emergency chute just yet.
- I want to be prepared before I get into bed with someone I don’t know.
- You can’t just jump into bed with anyone. You need to know their intentions and trust them. It has to be a good relationship first.
- I need to talk to my #1 guy before I go get married to a situation I am not ready for.
- We really need to get this over the plate and throw a strike if we want this to work.

Why do people talk like this?! What is he even saying?! Who has a #1 guy?!

Someone called the office and I answered the phone. All I heard on the other end was said person eating…loudly. I did my long phone introduction again, but apparently he couldn’t hear me over his excessively loud eating. grrrr

New Guy has bad cologne on. He gave me some files and was in my office over an hour ago and I STILL can smell his horrible cologne. I seriously want to vomit.

The lady beside me is chomping….I mean CHOMPING on her chips. I think she is putting 10 in her mouth and then chomping down as hard as she can. I am ready to throw my highlighter at her.

I think some may have forgotten the office rules. I may have to post them later today…If I haven’t passed out from the horrific smell that is just lingering in the air.


  1. I'm sorry to hear that people are being stupid. Would you like me to egg their cars/TP their houses? I'm in the mood for some juvenile retaliation.

  2. People are idiots.

    Ok, not all of them - but many of them.

    Your annoyance #1 cracked me up.

    I hope the day gets better - but here's the upside: your day is almost over!

  3. Anonymous1:29 PM

    HAHA no one talks like that except that guy!!

    Why do people have such bad phone etiquette? It should be a required class in college to graduate!

  4. WOW! i hope the day has gotten better - somehow!
    and about the "jumping into bed" - unless it's a male prostitute type of business...then stop talking about jumping into bed!

  5. Too much cologne is TERRIBLE!

  6. I would have IMPLODED. I can't stand loud eating to the point where it makes me feel violent.

  7. wow....that is an amazingly bad day. i really hate cliches...especially when they are overused and the person is doing it to presumably sound smarter. you have to wonder if they really think it makes them sound smart...or do they know that they sound like an ass?

    hope your tuesday is better!

  8. Punching people who chew, crunch, smack and slurp should be allowable in this country. And hearing those things at work is unacceptable.

    All noisy food items and offensive smells should be banned from the workplace. If I ever am the boss of an office, that will be my first rule. And I hope people hate me for it.

  9. Since I haven't gotten a call from you or Terry saying that you were just released from jail, I expect that you didn't go on a hand-to-forehead staple tangent before the end of the day. You know you have patience when you leave your office without stapling someone.