Dear 2011....

(This is sort of my year in review for 2011)

Exactly one year ago today we found out that our lives would change forever.  I was pregnant. (Post here) Seriously, what a way to kick off the new year!

It truly seems like it was just yesterday and yet SO much has happened this last year.  Seriously, a whole year has gone by like that. (insert dramatic finger snap)  I still remember holding that test, crying because I was both happy and scared. I anxiously waited for Terry, thinking of how to tell him and as soon as he walked in the door all I could do was cry.  He hugged me and said it would be all right and that this was good news.  He was and has always been my strength, and it has never been as evident as it has been this last year.

From the very beginning, 2011 was all up in our grill saying: “guess what, this year is going to blow your mind…hope you are ready for it!” and we were all like “chill out 2011, I am still writing 2010 on my checks” and it was like “well you have no choice lady, you are pregnant” and we were all like “HOLY SHIT!” silence “Ok, you win 2011. We are ready for this, so BRING IT.”

And 2011 totally brought it.  ALL of it.

It brought the excitement, fears, worries, tears, smiles, and overall feelings of love & uncertainty that come with having a child. 

It brought the thrill of seeing a picture of your child for the first time and the relief that comes with every ultrasound and heartbeat you get to hear.

It brought the worries of being pregnant and making sure that you are taking care of this precious little life the best you can; while also bringing the happiness of seeing your baby bump grow and the amazement of feeling the first kicks (and all of the kicks) of your little one.

It brought tears as you wonder how you are going to do this and if you are going to be good parents.

And it brought smiles thinking about your new life with this new little person.

It brought excitement finding out the gender of your child and preparing for the birth of your SON!

It brought overwhelming feelings of love and support from all the people who wanted to shower us and Henry with their kindness and generosity.

It brought uncertainties and constant questions as you try to figure out exactly what you are “suppose” to do now and after the child is born.

It brought up personal fears but also a comfort and love you had never felt before.

It brought us the anticipation of waiting to finally see our son as we count down those final days followed by pure joy & love as we held our son for the very first time. 

It brought us very late nights and a tiredness that made us wonder if we could really keep going like this.

It brought us the thrill of seeing our child change with each passing week for the last 16 weeks, as well as the belief that – yes, it does get easier.

It brought us seeing our child smile for the first time and the feeling of pure love every single time he laughs or smiles.

It brought us late nights of crying and the frustration of having no idea what to do and how to comfort him.  And it brought us relief when we finally soothed our crying child.

It brought feelings of sadness and despair, as you question this new reality.  And it brought a feeling of comfort knowing you are not alone in this and that you CAN do this.

It brought many many many hours of starring peacefully at our beautiful and extraordinary baby boy.

And it brought us a love we had never ever felt before.

Yes, 2011 brought it all....and then some.  It gave us good times, some bad times, and absolutely remarkable and life changing times.

And this journey all started for us exactly one year ago today.  Seriously, one year.  It seems so long yet in a blink of an eye it is gone and it in its wake has left what feels like a lifetime of memories.

So Dear 2011;

Thank you. 

Thank you for giving us one of the best (if not best) years of our lives with the most precious and life changing gift we could ever imagine receiving.  We were ready, even though we may not have known it  a year ago.  He was always meant to be OURS, at THIS time in our lives and I cannot imagine our life without Henry.  

And to 2012; we embrace you with open arms (not to be confused with arms wide open…blech, Creed)  We are truly looking forward to what is to come and this journey we are about to take with our son, as a family.  Sitting up, eating food, crawling, walking, talking, first birthdays.....and soooo much more.  I am excited and ready for 2012 and anxious to see where this next year takes us, together.  One year ago today, I had no idea what to expect and I was scared. Now, I still have no idea what to expect but I am excited for what is to come!

One year from today.....????