Soooooooo……..This Was A Bit Of A Surprise.

You know how in life you think you have something planned out and then those plans never go the way you expect because “fate” has a totally different plan for you….but you just don’t know exactly why right away.

It could be something small like you planned to wear a certain outfit then you realize it has a stain and you have to wear something else but then you get tons of compliments on your outfit. 

Or maybe you make special plans to go somewhere for the weekend and then something totally unexpected happens and you can’t go but then you hear later there were bad accidents on the same route you would have taken. 

Or maybe you are adamant that you are not going to get in a serious relationship with someone because you are still in college and then seconds later you end up meeting & dating the man you will end up marrying. 

Or maybe you get married and buy a house because you are financially in a great place and then just a few months later you lose your job and everything in your life changes dramatically but new opportunities present themselves. 

Or maybe when you share in a post on a blog about how 2 years ago you went through a rough patch because you decide you were going to wait to have kids because it just wasn’t the ideal time and then not even TWO months later you find out you are pregnant and your entire world is about to change. 

You know, times like those.

Oh what…are you wondering if you read that last one correctly?!  Well you did.  Our life has once again taken a very unexpected, but exciting (and scary) turn. 

My dearest husband knocked me up.  (That is exactly how he told my parents, so you get it too)

I will let you process this for a second as I am STILL processing this information and we found out on January 3, 2011.

But while you are processing it, here are some details. (Sorry for the length, just catching you up on our last 2 months)

- We found out with a positive pregnancy test on January 3, 2011, exactly 7 days after a missed period.  Though the thought crossed my mind and I didn’t drink on New Year’s (luckily we are boring people anyways) I didn’t think I was pregnant because my period can be off and it was around the holidays and we were busy so I figured it was stress that made me late and tired.  However, I took a test just in case.

- After a positive test and an emotional breakdown that involved me crying because I was scared, because this was not how we had planned it,  and because I honestly didn’t know how to react (I will just blame the early hormone changes for that) I told Terry when he got home from work.  Of course while I told Terry I broke down yet again in tears because this was unexpected and then I apologized for crying and then I cried for apologizing and crying.  I was a mess and didn’t know if it was ok for me to be excited because this would change everything.  My wonderful husband looked at me and just said in a soothing voice “stop apologizing, this is a wonderful thing and you should be happy. I am happy.”  And so it was and while happiness filled me so did an overwhelming sense of anxiety and fear about this possible new reality.  

- The pregnancy was finally confirmed at the Doctors on January 5, 2011.  Of course that was after I had another breakdown because I couldn’t pee first thing in the morning into that damn little cup. (Again, I blame the hormones.)

- We went to our first appointment January 20^th (7 weeks) where the Doctor gave us TONS of information about pregnancy and what we needed to do.  No physical exam was done at this time but we both walked out of there with our bag of reading materials and slightly very overwhelmed by the whole thing. 

- At 8 weeks and even with pregnancy symptoms in full swing (I felt sick most evenings and couldn’t eat anything heavy or after 7:30 at night & I think if someone looked at my boobs too hard they hurt) none of this felt real.  I honestly didn’t think this was real.  I was pretty much in a daze and in my own head thinking about everything from the time we found out until our 10 week appointment.

- On February 10^th (9weeks 6 days aka 10 weeks) we finally had a Doctor’s appointment and got to see an ultrasound of our baby and hear the heartbeat.  We were both cautiously optimistic going into the appointment as it hadn’t sunk in that this was real and we were not even sure if everything would be ok with the baby.  As it turns out our little piglet (T. thinks it looks like a baby pig so that is what we are calling it) was right on track! Instant sigh of relief.  Our piglet even turned and flapped its little flipper like arms at us during the ultrasound as too say…I am OK mom and dad!  (Yes, it really happened and caught us BOTH off guard and it was so awesome.) Tears.

Our baby at 10 weeks - Not the best pictures (maybe you can click to make it bigger) but the big ol’ head is on the right and you can see its legs on the left and an arm in the middle.  I will try to post a better one later.

 - That evening we finally got to tell our parents.  (Which was great) It started seeming a bit more real, though I can’t remember how many times I said “it is still early, so we are still very cautious about this.”  And yes, after I fumbled with finding the right words to say, Terry chimed in and said: “I knocked up your daughter.” Awesome!

- At 12 weeks (February 25^th) I actually became more nervous even though we were finishing up the first trimester.  My symptoms started chilling out a bit and we decided to tell a few people outside of our parents at this time.  I think just saying the words to people actually made it set in as to the scope of the situation which made it a little more nerve wracking…at least for me. “How are we going to do this” crossed my mind numerous times.

- We had our next appointment on March 10^th (13 weeks 6 days) and after trying to find the little sci-fi like squirming baby growing inside me T&I heard the heartbeat again. HUGE RELIEF.  My blood pressure was 118/66 (great), I was down 4-5 pounds since the 8wk appt (also good for me), and the baby was at 150 bmp.  Everything looked great so far.

- At 14 weeks – this is now real. Commence preparing for baby and sharing our news. HOLY SHIT BALLS…..WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS.

Here are answers to some questions you may or may not have:

- How did this happen?

Well I will move past the birds and the bee’s explanation and go straight to the answer you may be wondering.  I have not been on birth control since late 2008.  I got off of it, not with the intention to get pregnant, but because I just was tired of being on it.  I wanted my body to readjust.  I also was working to lose weight and taking medicine to help and could not take BC with it.  We still were cautious when we needed to be, though in both of our minds we just decided whatever happens happens.  We were not trying and we were infact preventing much of the time, but we were also not preventing all the time either.  I had reached the point some time ago that I was OK with our situation and we were just being and not even thinking about it anymore.  We were married, together for 10 years….why continue to fret about this and instead just live and not think about it right now. 

- So exactly how far along are you and when are you due?

I will be 15 weeks on Friday, March 18^th. I am due in early September.

- How are you feeling physically?

Better.  January and February were pretty rough.  I was constantly tired. I mean I have no idea some days how I stayed awake at work or even drove home without falling asleep.  I also had to completely change the way I eat.  White foods were best, nothing after 7:30 pm, and I always had to eat something small every couple hours.  There were many evenings and into the early mornings were my stomach was not happy. 

- How are you feeling emotionally?

Also better.  Am I happy – OF COURSE I AM. Thrilled!  But am I also scared out of my mind – you better believe it.  There is just a lot to think about, a lot I don’t have answers for, so much unknown right now, so very many questions constantly in my head……and you have no choice but to be ready for this as it is coming and coming fast.  The constant barrage of questions that go through my head would drive anyone crazy….and is infact driving me slightly nuts!  I often wonder if this is because this is unexpected or if this is just normal.  (Please tell me it is normal!)

- How is Terry?

Awesome.  I know this man is ready to be a daddy and will be a WONDERFUL one at that.  He hardly expressed it before, probably because in the past I was such a wonderful wreck of a person to be around.  But Terry, unlike me, does his best in these types of situations….unexpected situations.  He just goes with the flow so well.  Me; not so much.

- So that is why you didn’t drink at the blogger get-together?!

Definitely.  And though it was so fun, my mind would drift off to what was going on and I know multiple times I would just lose my train of thought.  Which by the way is happening ALL. THE. TIME.  I got pregnant and I literally lost my mind.  If I was off my game that day, I am sorry!

- Is this also why you gave up coffee and haven’t been blogging much?

Yeppers.  I said adios to caffeine and just haven’t been mentally coherent enough to blog.  I hope that changes as I miss blogging and miss all of you!

- What is going on with Terry and school?

Well he was suppose to go down around the same time the baby is to be born, so he will most likely hold off until January and go down then.  We both agree this still needs to happen, even more so since we will have a child.   

- Are you finding out the gender?   

Absolutely. And we will share that as soon as we know!

- Why did you wait so long to tell? 

I was nervous.  This was unexpected and I didn’t think it was real….like is this suppose to be happening now?!  I personally had to wrap my head around it.  Plus I wanted to make sure everything was OK before we start telling.  Once you tell, you can’t take that back and it was nice to be OUR secret for so long.  

- So are you still nervous? 

Yes, but I am reaching a place of calm.  As a very good friend has said to me...."Enjoy this time.  There is no time like this time and you will never have a first pregnancy again. ENJOY IT!"  That hit home.  While I still have some natural concerns and worries and things we need to figure out, I am trying to not be my normal crazy self and actually enjoy the moment instead of worrying about the future.  I am trying to embrace all of this and know that this happened WHEN it did for a reason.  You don't always understand why, but it is still an amazing and wonderful gift that is happening to us and I am trying to just take it all in while fully embracing this experience.