The Unattractive Side of Pregnancy

Let us first start with a conversation with my darling husband, shall we:

Terry and I were in the car the other day and with a smirk on his face T. looked at me and asked “Have you noticed any changes with your body due to pregnancy hormones?”

Me: Right away I knew this conversation was started because he must have noticed something so I ask, “What have YOU noticed?!”

T.: “Nothing, just curious.” Still smirking, not in a mean way but in an ‘Oops, I am not sure if I should say anything’ way.

Me: “Yes there have been things.”

T: “Oh, I was just curious if you noticed anything specific.” Still smirking but trying really hard not to.

Me: I mentioned a few general things that happen when you get pregnant and then just sat there in silence for a moment before finally blurting out “Dude, just tell me what you have noticed that is different!”

T: “Well you were standing in the sun and I noticed you now have hair growing in weird places on your neck and face.  I heard that was common during pregnancy and I don’t remember seeing it there before so I don’t think it is because you are getting older. Just curious if you noticed?!”

Me: “Thank goodness my new caveman appearance isn’t because I am getting old.  Uh, yes, I have noticed!  And obviously you do too.  So does it look really bad?”

T: “No, it is not bad at all.  You can only tell when you are in the sun.”

Me: “Great. I am plucking you know.”

T: “I don’t know if that will help.”

*sigh*

End of conversation and yet another reason for me to avoid the sun.

Boys, this is where you may want to stop reading.

Now first, I know Terry is not saying any of this to be mean.  We have been together for a long time and we point things out to each other….like if he has a really long eyebrow hair I say something or even pluck it out for him and if apparently I start growing a beard he says something.  It is love.  Plus, T. is genuinely interested in everything I am going through with this pregnancy, which I find super sweet…and I am sure he finds a tad gross.

But let me tell you, this is an interesting phase right now.  Weird things are happening to my body, things that don’t make you feel all that attractive.  For me personally it means hair in weird places, excess bodily fluids *ew*, unexpected gas/belching because of the slowness at which my food digests, constipation, bloating, darker skin on parts of my body, the pregnancy “glow” which is not attractive on me, and a stomach that doesn’t look pregnant but rather like I ate a bunch of pasta and cake.  Ok, I may be doing that last one….but you get my point!

Now I am not saying that I am not embracing all of this, because I really am…..from the comfort of my home so I do not have to go out and be around people.  But this phase in pregnancy is just weird.  Of course I have not experienced any future phases, so maybe those are just as weird if not weirder.  (You know, like when I finally see what looks like a mini human trying to push its way out of my stomach – uh WEIRD!)  And maybe everything I am feeling now continues throughout the pregnancy in which case, at the rate I am going, I will be one smelly and hairy beast wearing garbage bags come September! SEXY!

For the first two months I felt different, tired, and just felt off, but also not unattractive.  Maybe I was just too tired to even think about it, but the last few weeks as my symptoms slowly start to die down and my body starts to change in other ways I just feel less and less attractive.  I look at my gut and don’t always see “baby” just a bigger stomach.  I can’t feel the baby move (well, I feel things but can’t yet distinguish between the baby and gas, which is just lovely) and so even though I know there is a little monster growing inside me, it hasn’t fully sunk in to my reality yet.    And that so-called “glow” pregnant women are supposed to get….yeeeaaah, it is not a glow as much as I look like I am always hot or feeling ill.  My face ALWAYS looks like a I have jaundice with spots of blotchy pink/red skin.  And don’t forget the lovely dark circles under my eyes. Nice.  A “glow” sounds so subtle and beautiful but that is not me as there is no glow here!

When women begin to show more and others around them can tell they are pregnant, it seems like at least you would have a noticeable excuse if you are having an “off” day with your appearance because others would see you are pregnant and they would not think twice about it.  Or worst case scenario you start crying and/or yelling at people who look in your general direction.  Either way, we will just blame pregnancy.   Whereas now I just look bloated and like I am always overheated and need to sit down….even when I AM sitting down!

And how about clothes.  Oh clothes.  I actually lost about 7 pounds the first trimester, which I was thrilled about.  But in the last few weeks I have started slowly putting on weight and now my clothes are feeling tighter and more uncomfortable.  Which doesn’t help with the trying to feel more attractive thing, I am working on.  I think I can officially say I can only button my pants if I plan on standing the entire time I wear them.  I really only want to be in my yoga pants and oversized sweatshirts ALL DAY.  And what is discouraging is that I am not a small person.  I am 5’11” and bigger and apparently the first person my size & age to EVER have a child as I am having difficulty finding maternity clothes that are still cute AND in my size but that are still reasonably priced and won’t make me choose between a pair of pants and a highchair!   

I got a little down this past weekend, because I have found a couple things at JCP and Target, but not enough to get me through one full week (or even a day) at work or for our upcoming vacation.  My parents helped me look and we ordered a couple things (thank you) that I HOPE will fit.  And then by a pure miracle I checked Old Navy and was thrilled to find cute clothes in MY size and that were not expensive!  I ordered some stuff and hope when I get them that they will fit, because otherwise I will be in sweatpants and t-shirts for the remainder of my pregnancy.  Which really, is that a bad thing?!

And don’t get me wrong, I am only a few months in and I am LOVING this entire process; the good, the bad and the ugly…..and there is a lot of ugly.  And I know that Terry doesn’t find me less attractive, and that he is only pointing out my new caveman appearance because he really loves me.  And I am really not that vain of a person, but right now I just don’t feel like myself.  I feel pregnant, but then again I don’t.  Sometimes I think I look pregnant and other times I think I just look bloated.  Sometimes I fit into my clothes and other times nothing I put on feels comfortable.  Sometimes I feel pretty and sometimes I feel like a jaundice zombie clown with a beard….but let’s be real, I would be the cutest jaundice zombie clown with a beard that there is.  You know, just the usual feelings a person has!!

So if even ONE other person has gone though this or similar feelings around this point in their pregnancy or knows someone who has….please tell me now!  Also, I will take any other warnings such as…. "Jenn, you will have these feeling all throughout your pregnancy and don’t even get me started on how you will feel and what your body will do after pregnancy!”  

 Please share!  Believe me, I can handle it…..well after a good cry and another piece or two of red velvet cake!!

LAST CHANCE TO PLACE YOUR ORDER!!

Today is the last day to place your Tastefully Simple order and get a FREE Beer Bread, Almond Pound Cake, OR Chocolate Pound Cake with your order!!  (You get two on orders of $50 or more) 

Check out the details HERE.

Please let me know TODAY if you placed an order so I can make sure to order you the FREE item of your choice!

Welcome To My Mind…..A Little Bit of This and That

Yes, this is all totally random and maybe unblogworthy....but this is how my mind is right now, completely scattered!!

- Went to the grocery store for the first time in 3 weeks last night to do some real shopping. (we go for bread and milk, but that is pretty much it because no one is home really but me.) I strongly dislike that place mainly because people are annoying.  And WHY when you are in a hurry, and tired, and really have to pee do you run into someone you know who wants to talk?!  Or in my case someone I know who wants to talk for 20 minutes and then some darling old lady who tells me ground turkey is on sale and what she will do with all that turkey. (Ok, the little old lady was sweet and I will make time for her!)  But you get my point.  However, I now have some food in our house again which includes some of my favorite things like apples, bananas & grapes as well as granola bars, fresh veggies, 5 lbs of turkey (thanks darling lady!), and 3 bars of cheese. YUM! On a side note, I spent $55 and saved $22!!!  HOLLA!

- I got a call that our crib arrived and is at JcPenney’s!  Yes, we have our crib already and no, we don’t have a place for it.  I wonder if they can store it there for 5 months.  Holy crap, we have a baby coming in less than six months and we have so much to do! Oh well, I will think about that another day.  Worst case scenario, we get a cage and throw some blankets in it….the piglet will be fine! Here is our crib.

- I really wish I would have brought my Tropical Starburst to work today.  I could use a pick me up of high fructose corn syrup right about now.

- My parents are coming into town this weekend and we are celebrating both Kristen and my birthday!  Hers was in March, mine in April.  I am excited!  We are doing a mini-Spa morning on Saturday and with that I am finally getting my hairs cut!  Would you judge me if I said it has been a year since my last haircut?  If so then ignore that last sentence.  (But seriously, I have stopped myself SO many times the last couple months from cutting it myself because I knew I had this appointment….it is driving me crazy!)  Also, we are also going to PF Changs for our birthday dinner....yum.  Oh yeah, and let us not forget about the cake and presents that are coming!! Good weekend ahead.

- My parents are also bringing up our new stroller and car seat! Yes, we also already have the car seat and stroller.  But that is only because Sebastian, Belle and Charlie are going to test it out for us first to make sure it is safe for the babe.  They are good cats. (This is the stroller. Opting for gender neutral incase someday we have other animals who need this stuff.)

- I have been in the mood for quinoa and made it last night with red & yellow peppers, asparagus and ground turkey.  It was delicious.  Sadly, that was the high point for me yesterday and as I am really looking forward to leftovers today at lunch it may be my high point for today as well. I am boring lately.

- I am thrilled to be going on vacation in a couple months!!  I think this trip will be amazing and I am so excited!  It has been 7 years since our last vacation.  However, I am not as thrilled to try to find a swimsuit – I seriously cannot find one anywhere!  Why if you are bigger and pregnant do they make swimsuits with ugly patterns or animal prints on them?! YUCK!   All I want is something that will hide my legs, does not have some ugly pattern on it, and that will let people know I am not just fat but also pregnant.  Jeans and a tank-top should work perfectly.  I am also less than thrilled to have to wear that swimsuit in a couple months.  No crash dieting for me….guess people will just have to get use to seeing my pale, big butt walking around on the beach for a week! Sorry folks at that beach :)

- I haven’t even started looking into child care.  I didn’t think it was a big deal, but apparently I was told I should have already started looking into this. OOPS!  I figure as long as the piglet is in its cage the cats can watch over to make sure everything is ok.

- You may not have been aware of this, but parents are awesome.

- I am trying to think of things to blog about and I have a bunch of ideas….the problem being when I step in the front door of my home I have no choice but to put comfy clothes on and sit on the couch and watch TV.  It is not that I necessarily want to do that, but it is like my body is taken over by an uncontrollable force and I have to do that.

FREE BEER BREAD WITH ANY ORDER! - END OF MARCH SPECIAL!

That is right my friends, to bring in the warmer weather and say goodbye to the cold I am running a special end of March Sale for Tastefully Simple!

Details:

If you place an order from now through March 28th for ANY amount I will personally send you a package of Tastefully Simple Beer Bread for FREE! Yep a FREE order of Beer Bread!!  What's better than that? Well, if you place an order of $50 or more I will not only send you a FREE order of Beer Bread but also a FREE order of the Almond Pound Cake OR a second FREE order of Beer Bread….your choice!  Yes, this is for real, but it is for a limited time.

Orders must be in to me or done online w/ Kristen as your host by March 28th. Invitations were sent earlier today to many of you (at least those who I have email addresses for), so look in your email for a direct link to the website.  If you did not receive an email, you can just go to our Tastefully Simple site at www.tastefullysimple.com/web/jhoward4 to place an order. And remember, when you check out, list Kristen as your host!

I will be able to see all orders and your special box of beer bread will shortly follow your order!

Hurry, this is only good through March 28^th!

My consultant ID No. is 0110558.

 Click HERE for more information on how to use Tastefully Simple and Frequently Asked Questions!

 

Soooooooo……..This Was A Bit Of A Surprise.

You know how in life you think you have something planned out and then those plans never go the way you expect because “fate” has a totally different plan for you….but you just don’t know exactly why right away.

It could be something small like you planned to wear a certain outfit then you realize it has a stain and you have to wear something else but then you get tons of compliments on your outfit. 

Or maybe you make special plans to go somewhere for the weekend and then something totally unexpected happens and you can’t go but then you hear later there were bad accidents on the same route you would have taken. 

Or maybe you are adamant that you are not going to get in a serious relationship with someone because you are still in college and then seconds later you end up meeting & dating the man you will end up marrying. 

Or maybe you get married and buy a house because you are financially in a great place and then just a few months later you lose your job and everything in your life changes dramatically but new opportunities present themselves. 

Or maybe when you share in a post on a blog about how 2 years ago you went through a rough patch because you decide you were going to wait to have kids because it just wasn’t the ideal time and then not even TWO months later you find out you are pregnant and your entire world is about to change. 

You know, times like those.

Oh what…are you wondering if you read that last one correctly?!  Well you did.  Our life has once again taken a very unexpected, but exciting (and scary) turn. 

My dearest husband knocked me up.  (That is exactly how he told my parents, so you get it too)

I will let you process this for a second as I am STILL processing this information and we found out on January 3, 2011.

But while you are processing it, here are some details. (Sorry for the length, just catching you up on our last 2 months)

- We found out with a positive pregnancy test on January 3, 2011, exactly 7 days after a missed period.  Though the thought crossed my mind and I didn’t drink on New Year’s (luckily we are boring people anyways) I didn’t think I was pregnant because my period can be off and it was around the holidays and we were busy so I figured it was stress that made me late and tired.  However, I took a test just in case.

- After a positive test and an emotional breakdown that involved me crying because I was scared, because this was not how we had planned it,  and because I honestly didn’t know how to react (I will just blame the early hormone changes for that) I told Terry when he got home from work.  Of course while I told Terry I broke down yet again in tears because this was unexpected and then I apologized for crying and then I cried for apologizing and crying.  I was a mess and didn’t know if it was ok for me to be excited because this would change everything.  My wonderful husband looked at me and just said in a soothing voice “stop apologizing, this is a wonderful thing and you should be happy. I am happy.”  And so it was and while happiness filled me so did an overwhelming sense of anxiety and fear about this possible new reality.  

- The pregnancy was finally confirmed at the Doctors on January 5, 2011.  Of course that was after I had another breakdown because I couldn’t pee first thing in the morning into that damn little cup. (Again, I blame the hormones.)

- We went to our first appointment January 20^th (7 weeks) where the Doctor gave us TONS of information about pregnancy and what we needed to do.  No physical exam was done at this time but we both walked out of there with our bag of reading materials and slightly very overwhelmed by the whole thing. 

- At 8 weeks and even with pregnancy symptoms in full swing (I felt sick most evenings and couldn’t eat anything heavy or after 7:30 at night & I think if someone looked at my boobs too hard they hurt) none of this felt real.  I honestly didn’t think this was real.  I was pretty much in a daze and in my own head thinking about everything from the time we found out until our 10 week appointment.

- On February 10^th (9weeks 6 days aka 10 weeks) we finally had a Doctor’s appointment and got to see an ultrasound of our baby and hear the heartbeat.  We were both cautiously optimistic going into the appointment as it hadn’t sunk in that this was real and we were not even sure if everything would be ok with the baby.  As it turns out our little piglet (T. thinks it looks like a baby pig so that is what we are calling it) was right on track! Instant sigh of relief.  Our piglet even turned and flapped its little flipper like arms at us during the ultrasound as too say…I am OK mom and dad!  (Yes, it really happened and caught us BOTH off guard and it was so awesome.) Tears.

Our baby at 10 weeks - Not the best pictures (maybe you can click to make it bigger) but the big ol’ head is on the right and you can see its legs on the left and an arm in the middle.  I will try to post a better one later.

 - That evening we finally got to tell our parents.  (Which was great) It started seeming a bit more real, though I can’t remember how many times I said “it is still early, so we are still very cautious about this.”  And yes, after I fumbled with finding the right words to say, Terry chimed in and said: “I knocked up your daughter.” Awesome!

- At 12 weeks (February 25^th) I actually became more nervous even though we were finishing up the first trimester.  My symptoms started chilling out a bit and we decided to tell a few people outside of our parents at this time.  I think just saying the words to people actually made it set in as to the scope of the situation which made it a little more nerve wracking…at least for me. “How are we going to do this” crossed my mind numerous times.

- We had our next appointment on March 10^th (13 weeks 6 days) and after trying to find the little sci-fi like squirming baby growing inside me T&I heard the heartbeat again. HUGE RELIEF.  My blood pressure was 118/66 (great), I was down 4-5 pounds since the 8wk appt (also good for me), and the baby was at 150 bmp.  Everything looked great so far.

- At 14 weeks – this is now real. Commence preparing for baby and sharing our news. HOLY SHIT BALLS…..WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS.

Here are answers to some questions you may or may not have:

- How did this happen?

Well I will move past the birds and the bee’s explanation and go straight to the answer you may be wondering.  I have not been on birth control since late 2008.  I got off of it, not with the intention to get pregnant, but because I just was tired of being on it.  I wanted my body to readjust.  I also was working to lose weight and taking medicine to help and could not take BC with it.  We still were cautious when we needed to be, though in both of our minds we just decided whatever happens happens.  We were not trying and we were infact preventing much of the time, but we were also not preventing all the time either.  I had reached the point some time ago that I was OK with our situation and we were just being and not even thinking about it anymore.  We were married, together for 10 years….why continue to fret about this and instead just live and not think about it right now. 

- So exactly how far along are you and when are you due?

I will be 15 weeks on Friday, March 18^th. I am due in early September.

- How are you feeling physically?

Better.  January and February were pretty rough.  I was constantly tired. I mean I have no idea some days how I stayed awake at work or even drove home without falling asleep.  I also had to completely change the way I eat.  White foods were best, nothing after 7:30 pm, and I always had to eat something small every couple hours.  There were many evenings and into the early mornings were my stomach was not happy. 

- How are you feeling emotionally?

Also better.  Am I happy – OF COURSE I AM. Thrilled!  But am I also scared out of my mind – you better believe it.  There is just a lot to think about, a lot I don’t have answers for, so much unknown right now, so very many questions constantly in my head……and you have no choice but to be ready for this as it is coming and coming fast.  The constant barrage of questions that go through my head would drive anyone crazy….and is infact driving me slightly nuts!  I often wonder if this is because this is unexpected or if this is just normal.  (Please tell me it is normal!)

- How is Terry?

Awesome.  I know this man is ready to be a daddy and will be a WONDERFUL one at that.  He hardly expressed it before, probably because in the past I was such a wonderful wreck of a person to be around.  But Terry, unlike me, does his best in these types of situations….unexpected situations.  He just goes with the flow so well.  Me; not so much.

- So that is why you didn’t drink at the blogger get-together?!

Definitely.  And though it was so fun, my mind would drift off to what was going on and I know multiple times I would just lose my train of thought.  Which by the way is happening ALL. THE. TIME.  I got pregnant and I literally lost my mind.  If I was off my game that day, I am sorry!

- Is this also why you gave up coffee and haven’t been blogging much?

Yeppers.  I said adios to caffeine and just haven’t been mentally coherent enough to blog.  I hope that changes as I miss blogging and miss all of you!

- What is going on with Terry and school?

Well he was suppose to go down around the same time the baby is to be born, so he will most likely hold off until January and go down then.  We both agree this still needs to happen, even more so since we will have a child.   

- Are you finding out the gender?   

Absolutely. And we will share that as soon as we know!

- Why did you wait so long to tell? 

I was nervous.  This was unexpected and I didn’t think it was real….like is this suppose to be happening now?!  I personally had to wrap my head around it.  Plus I wanted to make sure everything was OK before we start telling.  Once you tell, you can’t take that back and it was nice to be OUR secret for so long.  

- So are you still nervous? 

Yes, but I am reaching a place of calm.  As a very good friend has said to me...."Enjoy this time.  There is no time like this time and you will never have a first pregnancy again. ENJOY IT!"  That hit home.  While I still have some natural concerns and worries and things we need to figure out, I am trying to not be my normal crazy self and actually enjoy the moment instead of worrying about the future.  I am trying to embrace all of this and know that this happened WHEN it did for a reason.  You don't always understand why, but it is still an amazing and wonderful gift that is happening to us and I am trying to just take it all in while fully embracing this experience.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTEN!!

(Kristen will get this cake…..even though I do not!)

 Today my lovely sister K. turns twenty-threeeeeeeeeeee!!!  

Twenty-three, huh?!  I for one cannot accept this as true because I remember when you were born and I can NOT believe that was 23 years ago!  Dang you are old! (And don’t you say anything in return young lady.)

I am SO proud of the young women you have and are becoming.  You are amazing, beautiful, hilarious, so stink’n smart, and such a kind & caring person.  I have felt SO lucky to live with you the last few years and have that time together.  It has meant so much to me to see you transform into the person you are today.

And even though you play games of the imaginary sort with your friends and some would call that dorky (not me of course) I have to say that is what makes you, YOU and I think YOU, my dear sister, are AWESOME!

Happy Birthday K.!  We love you bunches!

Xoxoxoxo

Jenn, Terry, Sebastian, Belle, Charlie, & Piglet.

{Almost} Wordless Wednesday

Charlie was on the back of our couch cleaning himself  to take a nap and when I looked at him and said something to him he stopped and struck this "pose".  He was like this for about 10 minutes, his paw just resting there. I was cracking up the entire time!  I am sure I have given him a complex now.

"What are you looking at?  How about a little privacy please?!"

"What?! I am just resting my paw here.  I am not doing anything!"

Tastefully Simple - Postponed

So due to scheduling conflicts for me and people who are interested in attending but can not make it, I am canceling my T.S. Open House for this weekend.  I would still like to have one sometime, simply because it is an excuse to eat and hangout with friends!

However, the raffle (minus the entries for attending the Open House) is still available!  So there is still a chance to win $50 in FREE Tastefully Simple products!

Sorry for any inconvenience.