Thursday, October 09, 2008

A Letter to Sudafed.....

Dear Sudafed:

You are truly amazing. One of your little pills has given me the ability to breathe again while also decreasing the amount of nasal fluid I drip all over my keyboard and myself. Another tissue need not go to waste whilst you are inside me. You are truly a gift from God, sent to this earth in the form of a tiny little tablet containing the magical-ness that is pseudoephedrine. I now see why we have to use our license when purchasing these wonderful pills in restricted amounts each month from behind that plexiglass enclosed pharmaceutical area. And why also so many drug dealers chemical entrepreneurs are interested in purchasing these tiny tablets.

As this magnificent stimulant runs through my body producing a rather involuntary haze of productivity, I sit back for a moment and say a quiet thank you to the makers of Sudafed and their products. For it is with this product that I do not have to waste my remaining 1 ½ days of personal time to stay at home in bed with a sickness but rather can wait to use my vacation to stay at home in bed when I feel perfectly fine. Sure I may pass along this sickness to my fellow co-workers, but I will also pass along this knowledge of using Sudafed to not only cure their cold but also increase the amount of work they produce. I think in the end we will all be better for this and when the time comes around to say thank you, they will not look at me but instead they will look at your enticing blue box of 12-hour maximum strength Sudafed and give a friendly nod of approval and thanks.

So dear friend, I look forward to us meeting again tomorrow at 7 am after I awake from my Nyquil induced comma to once again share our 12-hour journey together.

Forever yours,


  1. First off, I am sorry you're not feeling well.

    Secondly, I agree - Sudafed is amazing. (I used to love drixoral, but when it become increasingly more difficult to find, I bought Sudafed. Good stuff.)

    FEEL BETTER. Take Vitamin C, and sleep, sleep, sleep!

  2. Wouldn't you love to send this letter into Sudafed? I think they would love it.

    Get better!

  3. Lucky, you get to take Sudafed.

    The only thing I can take right now is Tylenol, and we all know that Tylenol is a placebo pill.