Smart Cars – They Don’t Seem That Smart

This is a Smart Car.


Oh wait, no, I think I may be confused.


THIS is a Smart Car.


So here is the thing, I would never EVER buy a Smart Car. Besides the fact that I just think they look ugly and they are too expensive for what you are getting; I think there is nothing about a smart car that looks safe or comfortable.


So because I enjoy lists and hate Smart cars I have decided to compile a list of reasons why I think Smart Cars are Dumb.


1) My friends’ kids have toy cars bigger than a smart car. (see pic of the little tikes car above)

2) Have you ever seen a smart car driving next to a semi-truck on the highway when everyone is going 65 miles per hour? If you have, then that image alone should be enough to scare anyone away from a not-so-smart car. I mean seriously. Are you trying to kill yourself.

3) When I see a person climb out of or into a smart car I think of a clown car. It really looks awkward and uncomfortable and not meant for someone over 5’2” or who isn’t a practicing contortionist.

4) I believe my Grandpa’s Hoveround is safer and goes faster than a smart car. And is a hell of alot cooler, did you see that commercial where the lady just spins in circles?! That is awesome.

5) I am fairly certain a person could just come by and pick up your smart car and easily walk off with it….if they really wanted one THAT bad.

6) Fact: You would not be able to make it over a speed bump, let alone an actual hill. Though in good news if you can’t actually drive up the hill you can just carry your car up the hill.

7) Question: Do you think based on the amount of space inside the car, that there is even room to have a full airbag, or do they just use a balloon? I am going with a balloon.

8) I believe the Smart car goes from 0 to 60 in a mere 5 minutes and 42 seconds*. That is almost as powerful as most lawn mower engines, almost.

9) I think if you took a turn too fast your Smart car would flip. And too fast for a Smart car is most likely 20 mph. And by flip I mean just fall over on its side.

10) If it hails, rains too hard, or a leaf falls on your smart car it may dent it.



Now, I shouldn’t be all hate'n on the Smart car as it does have a few good features, albeit completely pointless features, but good features nonetheless.

1. It takes only 6 – 1.5 volt (D) Duracell Batteries to run your smart car. Seriously, what a bargain.

2. You don’t have to worry about anyone stealing your car, because really who wants to be caught stealing a smart car.

3. You can get your smart car with a convertible top. Because that is, um, really cool and stylish….I think.

4. You and your 5 year old can have races between your smart car and their electric Kids Wheel car. Though your child may have a slight advantage.

5. You don’t have to worry about driving the car pool to work.

6. Because they made a mini bus smart car and that is just awesome. I seriously must have this.



7. In the winter you could just store your smart car on a shelf in your garage.

8. There will be less dead squirrels on the side of the road, because there is no way that a smart car could kill a squirrel and if someone did hit a squirrel it would cause a lot of damage to the car while the squirrel will remain unharmed. (And frankly, squirrels know this and are not at all afraid of smart cars.)

9. Shopping trips to the local grocers will be cheap, as all you have room to fit in your car would be one bag of groceries and a ½ gallon of milk.

10. You can fit 5 smart cars in one parking space.



So maybe the smart car isn't that bad. Oh who am I kidding, Smart cars SUCK! And if you have a smart car and this offends you I am sorry. Sorry you have a smart car and know I am right! ;)



*This is not an official number, I was just being funny. I seriously doubt the car would actually EVER reach 60 miles per hour. And for the record, I refuse to acknowledge a Smart car as an actual car.

I Own You Now; You Are MINE!

(knock on wood with everything I am about to say in this post)



So last week I made the very last payment on the first car I ever bought.


I OWN MY CAR!


YAY! YIPPIE! WOHOO!!


I am seriously thrilled about this, no more car payment and to actually OWN something is very exciting! It was funny when I made the last payment it said: “Congratulations, you have paid off your loan. What is next? Talk to your local Honda dealer about trade-in deals on new cars!” Um, yeah riiiiiiight. I am good. Thank you.

Five years ago, at the young age of 24, I purchased my VERY first car all by myself and not a day has gone by where I have been disappointed with this purchase. I seriously LOVE this car. I bought a 2002 Gold Honda Accord. It has leather seats, 6 disc CD player, Sun/Moon roof, and is just awesome. Plus because it was a lease car prior I got a suh-weeeet deal on it. This car has been wonderful to us and I am hoping it will continue to be wonderful to us for many more years. (again, knock on wood)

It doesn’t seem that long ago when I test drove this car and within an hour I was driving off the lot in my new car, but SO much has happened in the 5 years since I signed those papers. There are fun memories, conversations, places visited, new jobs, friends - all associated with our car. It is funny to think about some of the fun things that happened while I had my car. I have also learned alot of situational lessons the past 5 years while in this car. Here are just a few lessons learned:



- Lesson #1: Dressing appropriately for driving. After our wedding T&I drove out a few miles to Amish country to go to our hotel. Terry was pretty drunk so I drove, however I had to drive in my big wedding dress. Because my dress was big and in the way, Terry had to hold down my wedding dress all the way there so I could see and reach the steering wheel while I drove. It was actually fun, but probably not the safest! Lesson learned: When driving in a huge dress (or other crazy outfits) either bring a change of clothes or have someone there to lend a helping hand. :)

- Lesson #2: Purchasing items that do not fit in your car. Mickey D. & I went to Pier 1 after work once. (big mistake for her, hehe) I purchased a papasan chair which I SWORE would fit in my car. Not so much. I had to get bungee cords and strap that sucker in there. It took us awhile to get that chair in my car and then I drove 35 mph from Perrysburg to BG. Lesson learned: Make sure if you are purchasing a very large item you are 100% positive there is room in the car for said item, otherwise do not purchase item at that time. Or just bring an unsuspecting friend to help you.

- Lesson #3: Purchasing a large item that may fit in your car but is problematic because you have alot of people and too much crap in your car. My sister, Terry & I went to look for Christmas trees. Terry was convinced that even though we were suppose to be just looking and not buying that even if we bought a tree there would be no problem transporting the tree IN my car back to the house. So we bought a Christmas tree. Now our car does have a fold down back seat, but still it was a BIG tree and my car is smaller and I had event stuff in the trunk and oh yeah, we had my sister in the back! After spending a good amount of time in the cold and lets just call them "discussions" between T & I of figuring out how to stuff the tree into my car and the best way to strap the tree down we finally got the tree secured in my car. It was part in the back seat, part in the trunk and a little hanging out of the car. Oh and we still managed to have my sister also stuffed in the back seat under the tree (we thought about just leaving her, so that was a good thing for her we found room). We finally drove home at a snails pace, at night, in the freezing cold of December, which made a difference since we had to have the trunk open. Lesson Learned: Lets just say T & I will never take my car to purchase a christmas tree again and now we use a truck to move the tree or other very large items.

- Lesson #4: Acting like an idiot in your car with someone around to witness it. My sister drove me home from my Bachelorette party. I was in a really good mood on the way home and didn’t hide it. My sister claims I enjoyed messing around with the sunroof. Let’s just say alcohol, being hyper, lots of buttons/dials to mess with in your car, and a sun roof is not a good combination. :) Lesson learned: Don't hang your arms out of the sunroof and mess around with everything in your car after you have been drinking as you may not remember acting like a goofball but the sober driver sure will.

- Lesson #5: Traveling with animals. So we had to move from our Apt. to our new house and it was finally time to move the cats. It was only about a 5 minute drive to our house so no biggie right?! Terry had a truck full of stuff and I was going to take the cats in my car. We decided to do it at 11:30 at night, so there was less traffic. We only had one carrier so we put little Belle (as she HATES traveling) in the carrier. She meowed, no, howled liked she was in extreme pain the entire way which is no big deal, just annoying. We let Sebastian (the 17 pound cat) “sit” on my lap. The only way I could keep him on my lap was to have the window down a bit, ah nice cool night time December air, refreshing. He enjoyed the car ride but felt it necessary to have his claws out for the entire trip. OUCH. Then less then a mile from the house he decided he didn’t like my window and wanted to check out all the other windows, and the floor, and the back seat, and Belle, and anything else in the car. It is SO hard to keep on your lap a 17 pound cat with claws and teeth that he will use to get what he wants, while also trying to drive at night in snowy weather. He got loose a couple times in the car and since no one was around I managed to stop and pick him up as he was making his way to the back seat. He started getting angry so he started howling as well. It was music to my ears with those two cats, thank goodness I have a great radio in my car. When I got to our house, I was all clawed up. Lesson learned: Do NOT travel without both cats securely in their respective carriers.



You know, even after 5 years I still LOVE my car and want to keep it as long as possible. It is only 7 years old and I am really hoping that as it is a Honda we have a number of years left on the car. I am excited to think what fun we will have the next few years in this car!!

Good-bye Old(s), Hello New(er)

So this weekend we finally did it…we got my husband a MUCH NEEDED new car. Well, new to him! He LOVES his new car…he tells me like every 5 minutes, hehe… and it is only 10 years old, compared to his last car, an Oldsmobile (something or other) aka a BOAT which was like 25+ years old! The best thing for us, we are not going to have to pay more each month in gas for HIS car, which he ONLY drives in town compared to my car which I drive from BG to Perrysburg everyday. Not cost affective in the least.

I know Terry had many wonderful memories in this car, and I will admit this car really just made you think of him (if you have known him then you know this car was made for him), but now it is time to move on, as this car is neither reliable nor practical anymore.

I think both the car and my husband are ready to move on. I would love to keep it for memory sake, but sometimes you have to let go.

So here is to a car that somehow made it to Savannah twice, could fit more people in it then a mini-van, makes a very loud screeching sound when Terry turns it on thus waking everyone up in a mile radius, can only be driven by Terry b/c it has more idiosyncrasies than you could imagine, has holes and duct tape in/on it, barely fits in our garage, has awesome brown interior that isn’t pretty but is really comfortable…kind of like a couch, has fake wood like interior - classy, is seen and heard coming from far away, still rocks out the cassette tapes, and through all its problems was really just a fun car for my husband these past 10 or so years.


Here are a few pics of his car!




Yep, that is the Taco Bell Dog :)