Then and Now....

The other morning while I sat alone in our living room pumping and listening to the repetitive drone of my pump, basking in the only 20 minutes each day that are truly all mine, I thought about how my life has changed in the last year.  I thought about how things were then compared to how they are now.  And I thought I would share some of those things that have changed in my life the past 6 months!  

Then:

Sleeping in usually meant sleeping until 11am and not getting out of bed until noon.

Now:

Sleeping in means getting to sleep IN my own bed instead of on the futon in the baby’s room because Henry keeps waking up at night and it is just easier to stay in there.

Then:

Saying you were tired and actually being tired were two different things.  Usually when I said I was tired it just translated to being bored.

Now:

You are in a perpetual state of exhaustion and simply too tired to even say or think about how tired you really are.

Then:

Your boobs were perky, the same tone and when you had them out in front of your husband he got excited because it meant something special was about to happen!

Now:

Your boobs are just sad looking, you can see every vein, your nipples are cracked, and when you have your boobs out in front of your husband he doesn’t even notice you or them; and instead of your husband getting excited when he sees them, now your baby gets excited.

Then:

You could take as long as you wanted to eat dinner and even enjoy multiple courses at an actual restaurant!

Now:

Dinner consists of you scavenging for food from anywhere you can find it and eating as quickly as possible.

Then:

You sang your favorite band’s songs in the shower or car.

Now:

You find yourself singing kids songs….and hating the fact that you sort of enjoy them.

Then:

Conversation on bodily functions, while funny, were usually limited to special circumstances.

Now:

The day is not complete without at least one conversation & an accompanying picture message about poop.

Then:

Running to the store to get something small you forgot, like soap, took no time and was not that big of a deal.  Well, running to the store in general was no big deal.

Now:

If you have to run to the store for something it has to be strategically timed between feedings and naps and involves 30 minutes of prep time that includes (but is not limited to) changing his diaper, making sure he is properly dressed, fighting him as you strap him into his car seat, make sure you have: a burp cloth, pacifier, toy, back up toy, back up pacifier, make sure you are fully dressed and have your purse (including your wallet – made that mistake!).  Then you have to awkwardly climb in your car to load and unload him out of the middle portion of the back seat. And let’s not forget about once you are actually IN the store.  Usually once you think about all you have to do to pick up something, like soap, from the store you realize the best option is to forego the soap all together.

Then:

You could pick up and leave for a long weekend whenever!

Now:

They idea of taking all the necessary stuff required to go somewhere overnight causes anxiety…so you just don’t leave the house.

Then:

7:30am – Wake up

7:30 – 7:45 – Shower and get dressed

7:45 – 8 – Pack lunch and leave for work

8:30 – 5 – work

5:30 – Get home

5:30 – 7:30 – Terry’s at work so I get comfy clothes on and lie on the couch and watch TV. A nap may even be possible!

7:30 – start dinner

8 – Terry’s home, eat dinner

9:30 – go to bed

Sleep and Repeat

Now:

6am – Wake up

6:15 – 6:45 – Shower and get dressed

6:45 – 7:15 – Pump (and enjoy the alone time)

7:15 – 7:30 – Pack lunch, pump, bottles and leave for work

8am – 5pm – Work (pump at 11 & 4)

5:30 – 5:45 Get home and briefly go over Henry’s “STATS” for the day with Terry on the days he works  i.e. When did he eat, how many bottles, when did he sleep, how did he poop, how much/little did he vomit, how was your day, love you and bye! (I prefer the days he doesn't work!)

6:00 – 7:30 – Feeding solids and a bottle and then a nap.

7:30 – 9:15 – Play time, mom grabs a quick bite to eat, get ready for bed, story time.

9:15 – 9:45 – Feed last bottle of the day and put him in his crib to let him fall asleep.

9:45 – 12am - Wash bottles, prep bottles for the next day, pick up living room/house,  pump for 30-40 minutes, relax, have an actual (non text message) conversation with Terry, and then off to bed.

12am-6am – Possible baby wake ups in the middle of the night.

Sleep and Repeat.

Then:

I was happy, loved, and my life was really really good.

Now:

My life with Henry in it is AMAZING.  I had no idea I could love someone in this way and this much and that one little person could bring so much joy and happiness to our life. My heart is full and I wouldn’t change any part of my life NOW.

(Ok, maybe I would want some more sleep and naps….but that will come!!)