So, 2014 has come and gone. With that comes a lot of reflection on the year that has passed. I think about the way overdue changes of Terry's job and all the pros and cons that come. I think about the unexpected loss of a dear friend and how precious life can be. I think that is has been one year since Henry's last seizure and have hope for the coming years. I think about the struggles we have been dealing with and the frustrations and optimism ahead. I think about how quickly time is going and how I need to find ways sometimes to bottle it up and slow it down (and cover the grey and remove the hairs on my face!) I think about how much we have all changed in the last year, especially Henry, and all that this new year holds!
So with that said, 2015 is turning into the year of focus.
As I have been reflecting on the year as it came to a close and even now as I type, I realize the things I need require me to focus, or refocus my priorities.
Call them goals. Call them resolutions. Call them just getting older and learning that sometimes we need to stop and change the way we are doing things.
So here is my focus for 2015.
Focus on Marriage.
After we had Henry our life revolved around Henry and his needs, as expected. Terry and I worked opposite schedules to make things work, which means we were solo parenting a lot and our focus was just on how to raise this kid and survive. Then around 2 years old, just when we were starting to get to a normal life, the seizures and medical issues started with Henry. Now Henry's health seems to be doing better and though Terry and my schedules don't always mesh, we both realize we need more time for US. It is so easy to take each other and your marriage for granted. I know I do. We went on two dates in December, the first ones in a loooong time. And to be honest, it had the awkwardness of first dates at times...except for the fact that we have been together for 14 years. So we are focusing on our marriage in 2015. Going on dates again. Listening to each other. Being a team. We are stronger together, for sure. And like most things in life, even if it isn't broken (which it is not) it still needs maintenance and to be taken care of to keep things strong!
Focus on Health.
I think with all of Henry's health issues the beginning of last year, Terry and I have been putting ourselves on the back burner. So the focus is keeping Henry healthy and hopefully continue to be seizure free. And Terry and I need to take care of our health. (except for sickness, it has been a few years that either has been for annual visits!) My main focus is getting myself healthy. Going to a couple doctors appointments and losing weight.
Focus on Myself.
This overlaps health in that I need to work on ME. Losing weight is the most important thing. I need to like myself again. Like the way I look and feel better about who I am. Along with that, finding time to step away from everything and do the things I like. The things that make me happy. I gladly put away things I enjoyed when Henry was born, but it is time to get those things back out, even if it is just on occasion and finding a new balance. I need to feel like ME again.
Focus on being less Focused.
Um. HUH?! What do you mean, Jenn?! I have a problem of focusing too much on things. I am OCD (self-diagnosed, of course) and with that I tend to focus on things....a little too much. My intentions usually start out good, but they do consume me at times. A nice evening with Terry could turn into me worrying because of the fluctuating temperature in Henry's room. Or that Terry is crunching his chip too loud and I yell at him and then we just sit in silence. Or I am convinced we are sick because I heard a cough so I take Henry's temperature 70 times. Or just focusing on the negative instead of the positive. So I am making a big effort to only focus on what is important (like above) and not put my effort in focusing on things that do not matter or that I can not change.
So, these are the things I want to focus on with the New Year. And the truth is I am excited for this New Year!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!