In Search of the Elusive “ME” Time?

Let's talk ME time, shall we.

We have all heard of this or even have had an abundance of this at some point in our lives, right?!  Before full time jobs or kids or bills or more schooling or busy adult lives….I vaguely recall having plenty of time to myself to do whatever I wanted. 

Come back with me if you will to the days where ME time was my priority…..[Insert flashback/dream sequence music and wavy fading image]

I remember back in my college days, even though I had a job at night/weekends and school, I had a plethora of ME time.  Infact, ME time was my priority and I was totally OK with being selfish about my time.  I managed to find time to work, go to class, workout, do my homework and do whatever else I wanted to do for ME.  Sometimes that would consist of taking a nap in the middle of the day.  Maybe walking to the tanning bed and then on the way back to the apartment stopping with some friends at the bar for happy hour and a few drinks (this happened way more frequently than I like to admit).  Maybe it meant playing cards for 6 hours straight, because well, when you have a good game of euchre or phase 10 going, why stop .  It meant leaving with friends to go to see a band play or staying out late because I had nothing important to do the next morning.  And honestly, even if I did have something to do I still seemed to have the energy to not be bothered by only a few hours of sleep at night. Who needs sleep at 22 years old….that is for the weak!!!  And it also meant I had time to be healthy-ish and workout whenever I wanted.  I was the thinnest I ever have been and was in shape and made time to for myself to be healthy.

Ahhhh, that was the life.

And then I graduated and got a job and got married and bought a house and had bills.  ME time turned more into WE time and while ME time was always around; I didn’t always make time for it or ignored it to do stuff with Terry or even stuff around the house instead.  I started putting ME time on the back burner, but maybe because I had been selfish for all those years I openly embraced this.  But then over the years and especially after having Henry, I have continued to take less and less time for myself, I seem to be finding it harder than ever to MAKE time for me or even feeling like I should take time for myself.

Now I am not trying to be all like “whoa is me, I never take time for myself….feel bad for me” or act like a martyr because I am putting other people before me and I should be commended for that. 

HELL NO, that is not the case at all!!

It is sort of two-fold. 

1)      I do find it difficult to find time for myself.  4 out of the 5 days a week I go to work, come home at 5:30 and T. leaves at 5:45, and then I am home with Henry all night.  He goes to bed around 9 and after he is in bed I wash bottles, straighten up the house and just unwind for a minute before I go to bed.  The last thing I am thinking about is working out for 45 minutes.  On the weekends I am also home alone with Henry until early evening and as I have hardly seen Terry all week, cherish what little time we get together in the evenings on the weekend.  Getting up early is an option, just not an option I have managed to succeed at doing.

2)      Then there is the guilt I feel when I take time for myself or do something for myself.  Oh, I don’t want to go get my hair cut and colored because I will be gone for two hours plus I could spend the money elsewhere.  Or I feel bad putting Henry in his bouncer while I walk on the treadmill because I only get 3 hours with him at night, 1 of which is spent with him eating.  I don’t want to be doing something else; I want to hang out with Henry.  It makes me happy to be with him and have that time together.

But then there is that thing where because I don’t make time for myself I get easily stressed or frustrated and I get mad at the way I look and feel and I know I need and want to do something about it.  I want to crochet and get my hair done and I really want to lose a lot of weight.  And even though I am happy spending time with Henry in place of doing stuff for myself, I am unhappy with how I feel.

Vicious circle, no?!

And while I don’t want to go back to the college days above as I really do enjoy my life now and having mostly WE time, let’s be honest…..WE ALL NEED SOME ME TIME!!

So let me ask all of you, how do you not only find “ME” time but MAKE yourself take that time?

I know in theory the answer to this question is easy…..just take time for yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.

Um, I think that answer is easier said than done. 

Mother or not, how do you managed to find time for yourself with your busy life to do the things that make you happy or feel better?  (whether it is working out, crocheting, blogging, going places)

And if you do have kids, how do you find time for yourself?  Especially without feeling guilt.