So T. works at an autoparts store in our town and recently he has taken on alot of extra responsibilities. Well he is basically managing the store and in turn learning the ins-and-outs of management. He really enjoys the freedom to do more at his job and take on a leadership role! (way to go T) So when he told me he would be going to his first marketing conference for the company I was VERY excited for him!
However, that excitement quickly changed when he told me the owner and his wife were going and I was going to be spending the day shopping with his wife.....huge sigh.
So here is the thing, people in blog world who don't know me. First, I am a nice person and I think I give out a rather nice first impression to people who don't really know me and can "schmooze" and fake any conversation. But it doesn't mean I like it!! I HATE schmoozing and forcing conversation with someone I don't know. I am sure she is a very nice and lovely person, but I can only be nice and fake for so long before it just becomes tiring! I hate and am not good at making small talk for extended periods of time.....I would much rather walk in silence than faking a conversation.
Second - I hate shopping! Seriously! The only time I like to shop is if there is a sale during the week and I have a specific list of items I need to get and I know exactly where to get these items. I make it quick, I don't linger or search for the best deals, and I get out! I am not one of these people who can walk around a mall for hours searching for nothing - what is the point??? I don't go to a place with tons of annoying people, where it is hot and stuffy, with children, and contains annoying people (had to mention that again) without a purpose!! That is crazy! That is why they invented shopping online!!!
Finally, If I am shopping you can bet at some point I will get annoyed with someone and want to make a bitchy or smart-ass comment to the person I am with. I can't do this with T's bosses wife! I am going to be forced to keep all that frustration in and I personally don't think that is good for my health! (I believe it does a great damage on ones bowels to keep opinions and frustration inside!)
So anyways - I am going in semi-positive because it is for T and this is a great opportunity for him and it makes him happy. I won't complain too much to him and I am sure it will be ok and I am making a bigger deal about this than what it will be. (or that is what I am saying to myself to keep me sane) I guess this is what marriage is about - compromising. He does come to my events so I will do this with a perky smile on my face and frustrated bowels, expecting nothing but a hug at the end. (However, I must say that MY event he went to involved him bringing his friend and included a baseball game, beer, and hotdogs.....not exactly the same - hehehehe)
So any convo starters or suggestions for schmoozing? I am going to need help!!!
Topics anyone can relate to:
ReplyDeleteFamily (siblings, parents, where they live, what they do).
Work (albeit, boring, but still).
Ask how she and her husband met, etc.
Ask what she normally likes to do for fun (like does she have any hobbies like reading, knitting)
Ask about their last exciting vacation.
Pointers:
1). if you go out to eat, try to do it at a food court or Chipotle or something "fast" as opposed to "sit down". that can be awkward with a stranger.
2). maybe once you get to your destination you can "split up" and meet in 2 hours for lunch, then split up again (i don't like shopping with strangers) - then you can go sleep at the mattress section of the dept. store.
Oh man J. This reminds of the time you were supposed to have that "girl bonding" day.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to what Malissa has said, I might perhaps talk about the upcoming holidays, christmas lists, upcoming vacations, movies/television and your wedding(!).
I especially like Malissa's #2 pointer. I'm sure she might be feeling a tad bit the same as you about the whole situation.
Fun stuff!
All good ideas!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, don't know where you got that hatred of shopping (hehe). I know exactly how you feel and have been in this same situation myself at conferences.
Head for places where you typically split up - book stores, record stores. M & I always go separate ways in these kind of stores. You can browse on your own in these places easily.
Don't be afraid to make suggestions like stopping for coffee or ice cream for a break. Ice cream always makes shopping less tense and almost tolerable.
Keep a positive attitude. You might be surprised... this may be someone that you really hit it off with and perhaps (please!!) she doesn't like shopping either. There are lots of us out there. Maybe she just came up with this to entertain you and thought you might enjoy it. Of course you can always shop for things for your new house!
Good luck and hang in there.
Oh geez. Poor you. :-( Eek.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestions, get her talking about herself.
Definitely about her children, her hobbies, current movies, Christmas plans, etc.
I like Missy's #2, as well. She'll probably want some alone time, too.
You'll be fine, you're a VERY likable and lovely person. REALLY.
These are all REALLY good ideas/advice! I really like the idea of spliting up (either within a store or at the mall). The topics are also good, I will definatly use those!
ReplyDeleteAnd YES, there will definatly be ice cream or an auntie anne's pretzel bought - that will help with my stress!!
I will keep you updated and let you know how it turns out :)