Monday, May 18, 2015

Frustration – An Open Vent…

So, yes I have been missing lately from the blog and most of that is due to frustration.  This is an open vent, to which after I will move on and keep going.  But sometimes we I just need to vent.

In all honesty, I haven’t felt as motivated and therefore felt little inspiration to myself, let alone others. 

Yep, falling back into my old mental blocks and ways.

I am disappointed that I am not where I thought I would be.  To date I have lost 24lbs.  This is good, but not where I wanted to be as summer approaches.  I thought I would be at least 10 more pounds lighter.

I get frustrated that for me to lose a few pounds takes so much work, when some people (like my husband!!!) can lose 30 lbs and are still eating fast food and drinking pop and eating sweets, just slightly smaller portions.  I cut ALL of that out of my diet and try to eat clean daily and eat a low calorie diet and it still takes forever to lose weight.  Yeah, I have splurge days, BUT COME ON.  One splurge day where I still eat reasonable and under my daily allowance shouldn’t mean I don’t lose anything all week.  I know everyone is different and I shouldn’t compare, but I am human and do.

I am annoyed about our schedule and finding time to work out to try to help with the weight loss.  Yeah, Henry and I take bike rides and stuff on occasion, but have you ever taken a bike ride with a 3 ½ year old?  The exercise isn’t in biking, it is how well you can balance on your bike going at a near walking speed.   Walks with him mean we stop every 5 feet to pick “beautiful yellow flowers”.   I already get up at 6am with him and finally have me time after he is in bed around 9m.  The last thing I want to do is spend the 30-40 minutes before I go to bed working out, nor do I want to wake up at 5:30!!!  Are you kidding me.   

I hate how my clothes are fitting incorrectly at the moment.  Some are a bit too big but the size down is still too snug.  So most of the things I wear I just feel uncomfortable.  I just don’t feel good in anything I wear.

I am tired of planning so many separate meals so that we can all eat what we want to eat while I also stay on my diet. 

I don’t like seeing any results in over a month, period.

I know I have to suck things up and keep going.  I WANT to keep going. 

I need to find time to workout, even if it means getting up at 5:30am (barf).

I need to stick with this and think of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet.

I know that things have changed, even beside the weight.  I really don’t know the last time I binged.  There have been a few times I have eaten a second portion of snack foods or more than I probably should.  But not a binge.  Nothing close to that.  That is huge for me, nearly 20 years of binge eating regularly and I am learning to recognize, acknowledge it and control it.  So I know I am making improvements.

But lets be honest, the weight loss is what anyone who is overweight wants to see.  YES, I notice the other things and that is great.  But for me, at my weight, I want to see the numbers go down.  I want to put on the new capri pants I bought in a size down to fit comfortably.

Starting today I am trying something new for the next couple months.  I am going to form a new goal.  Pilates 2-3 days a week and try to walk or bike ride 2-3 days a week.  I will see over the next few months if that makes any difference in the weight loss and my overall feeling.

So let me ask, how do you incorporate a healthy lifestyle into your daily life/your busy life?  What do you do when you get discouraged? 

1 comment:

  1. HUG. BIG hug.

    I hate hearing that you're down.
    I hate it.

    BUT, I also know that you have come so, so far. Don't be overcome by what you haven't done; remember what you have done. You are changing your lifestyle.

    My question is this - are you eating ENOUGH? (Email me.)