Monday, June 16, 2014

From The Mouth of Babes - Part 2

My son is a chatter box.  This is awesome and hilarious to me as he was such a late talker.  But now, the boy won’t shut up!!  (Which I actually do love)  Plus he says big words, or at least tries to say big words.  He is always surprising us and saying things you wouldn’t think a 2 ½ year old would say!  (Note to self: be careful what you say)

I wrote a post a few months back, HERE, about what he is saying and I am doing it again.  I LOVE keeping track of this stuff because it can be so easily forgotten. 

Some of my favorite things he says right now (Henry is 2 ½).

You not a child. 
“Mom, you no have this toy….you not a child.”

I not a child.
If he doesn’t want to do something you ask, like clean up toys.  “Mom, I can not do XYZ.  I not a child.”

I gots a lot of jobs to do. 
Me: “Henry, help pick up your toys.”
H: “I can’t mom, I gots a lot of jobs to do.”

(Yes, he is a busy child and always looking for ways out of his chores)

Yeah but. OR Ok but.
“Yeah but, I can’t eat that.”  “OK  but, I can’t do that.” “Yeah but, I want to do this.” 

OK, Mom.
Me: “Henry stop climbing on that”
H: “Ok, but no ask me to stop climbing. OK mom.”

Along with this one is…

You no touch this, OK?
Puts down ANYTHING “Mom, you no touch this, Ok?”

Be reasonable.
“Mom, be reasonable.”
(enough said)

Oh Man.
It is not so much the context, but rather how he says it. “Oooooh, maaaaan.”

No, I Heny.
Me: “Henry, you are silly.”
H: “I no silly, I Heny.”

Please. Please. Please. Or Hi. Hi. Hi.
He saw this on some cartoons and so he has to say those things three times.

Huh? What?
THE. BEST. Part of him saying this is the face he makes.    He will ask a question and say “huh” or “what” and snarl his lip a bit and ask a question.  It is super cute!!

What you say?!
Anytime you say something Henry doesn’t understand he says “what you say or why you say that?” with the look mentioned above.

He also thinks it is hilarious to call us Jenn and Terry instead of Mom and Dad. Sigh.

That’s weeeird.

Terry has a hard time understanding Henry.  Henry will keep trying to tell Terry what he is saying before he finally looks at me, with this frustrated face and says “MOM, daddy no get my words, tell daddy what I say.”  I am the translator around the house.

If one of us is getting mad or frustrated:
“Mommy...don't worry. It be OK. Sorry you are frustrated.” Sweet boy. 
(Thank you Daniel Tiger for teaching emotions!)

OR, sometimes he just looks at us and says….

“Hey mom (or dad), just chill.”

So Henry and I were talking about my sister, her boyfriend and their cat (Charlie) before bed and the following conversation happened:

H: why Charlie eat breafkest? (Breakfast)
Me: because he is hungry
H: but why
Me: because he runs around a lot and it makes him hungry
H: but why
Me: for the same reasons daddy and I feed you, Kristen and Josh feed Charlie.
H: yeah but......they no feed Charlie. This no charity.
Think he heard something about charity from caillou, and sure he doesn't know what it means, but hilarious nevertheless!!

He refers to his feet as Stinky Piggies.

When he passes gas we call it “toots”.  Well then I call Henry “Toots Mcgoots”.  He started saying that any time some farts.  Adorable.

Bitch.  Yeah, Terry and I are working on our swearing infront of him.  OOPS.

Along with what he is saying, there are also things I never thought I would say or talk about or do until I had a kid.

Don’t pull your penis like that!

H: “Mommy, my penis itches.”
Me: “Then scratch it.”
H: “No, you scratch it!!”
Me: “Uh, no one scratches your penis but you!!”

Don’t put your finger in your butt!!

Stop rubbing the peaches on your face and eat them.

Don’t sit on Godzilla!

Me: “Henry, don’t drink that bath water, you just peed in it!!” 
H: “Ok but, it is really really deissious!” (delicious)

Point your penis down!!!  (As I grab for it and push it down while he is peeing ALL over the toilet seat.)

Poop.  Fart. Penis.  I am glad I have the humor of a 14 year old boy because when you have a boy… have to be prepared for it all!!!

*TwopretzelsI promise I am not trying to copy you, I love writing these down too because they are hilarious!!

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