Monday, October 28, 2013

Henry, No. Henry, Stop That. Henry, Listen to Me. HENRY NO!

So let me preface, like any parent feels the need to do, by saying overall Henry is a really really GREAT child.  (Just wait for the but…) He is funny and laughs all the time.  (keep waiting…) He so incredibly sweet and will always usually give out hugs and kisses when asked. (wait for it….)  He LOVES to help and he is an awesome little helper.   BUT (oh, there it is) he doesn’t always listen and has a big temper when he doesn’t get his way. And while he does listen at times, this is a growing problem and the lack of listening is becoming more and more frequent.

Now, I am sure most parents of kids older than mine are saying “yeah, that is just a toddler. Why are you writing a long blog post for something that is normal?!”

Well, because I don’t know how to get my child TO listen.

I wrote a post awhile back that talked about multiple things, one being the frustration of extreme independence and not listening. HERE (#5)

As I mentioned in the post I feel like I am constantly saying NO.

Henry, NO.  Put that down! NO, Get away from that! DON’T touch that!! You will get hurt!  Don’t stand on that!  Don’t put that up your nose/in your ear! Henry, STOP IT!!!

I don’t know about any of you, but sometimes always feeling like the “bad guy” or saying “NO” all the time can wear on you a bit.  Though terry tells me to get use to it, it is part of being a parent, I just want him to listen more, especially with important things like running away from us, getting into stuff that is dangerous for a 2 year old, or doing things that are unsafe. (and believe me, Henry likes to do things that are unsafe)

Now that Henry has really started talking more (He is saying SO much and talking in sentences and actually trying to say words…WOOHOO!!!) his independence aka stubbornness is growing and he is not listening as much as he once was.  Everything, and I mean EV.ER.Y.THING. IS….NO.  ME. I DO IT. NO. MEMEMEMEME.   He is also big and can reach nearly everywhere and wants to touch and get into everything.  And he does stuff and gets into stuff even when I ask him to stop.

Henry, stop turning the lights on and off! (as he laughs)

Henry, put the phone down! (as he refuses to even look at me and proceeds to keep pushing buttons on the phone.)

Henry, do not stand on the table! (as he jumps and purposely falls into my arms when I go over to get him down.)

Henry, stop!  Get back here! (as he runs away and I am chasing him….which is a sight)

Henry, get out of the trash!  It is yucky!  (as he proceeds to pick out pieces of trash)

Henry, you need to listen!  Look at me and listen and play with this cool toy (as he ignores me and continues with what he is doing)

There is NO denying this child is stubborn, I mean look at his mom and dad, and extremely curious and into everything.  And while I want him to have independence and do things on his own, I also need him to listen.

Perhaps this is all normal and I just need to continue with what I am doing and he will grow out of it.  The "he will grow out of it" statement seems to be a common thing with kids.  

But I want to try to get him to listen better.

I have tried getting down on his level.  I have tried quietly saying “no” or “no thank you”.  I have tried explaining why he needs to listen.  I have tried time outs.  I have tried yelling.  I have tried ALL of the above at once just to stop him from doing one thing.  Sometimes after trying everything or saying NO 22 times he will stop (though goes back to it later).  And sometimes it takes me physically removing him from what he is doing, which means Baby Hulk comes out and Baby Hulk no like when I say NO.  Baby Hulk SMASH and hit mommy and fall to the ground screaming.

Obviously, we have some communication issues.

I totally get that he just turned two and that we need to teach him and reinforce good listening.  But HOW do I do that?!?! 

I think I just don’t know the best way to communicate with Henry.  T & I talk to Henry pretty much like we talk to each other.  I know I have had to get use to changing the inflection of my voice and trying to be quieter because I can be loud….Terry and I can be loud.  We get excited and talk loudly and laugh loudly and we forget sometimes and talk loudly to Henry.  So we are working on softer tones, not baby talk, but I more rhythmic talk for things that are good and a more stern tone with things that are bad.  But yeah….that doesn’t always work!!

Maybe I need to stick to one way to correct him….which is hard with two parents with two different styles and whom he listens to differently depending on which parent it is.  Maybe he is bored and just very very active and we need to bring in his focus on different things so he is constantly doing the productive stuff instead of getting into everything he shouldn't.  Maybe I need to teach him when to listen, though I don’t know how to do that!

Do you have a stubborn child who doesn’t listen?!?!  How do you communicate with your kids?  How do you get them to listen and focus?!

I have seriously started looking for books on Amazon, but lets be real....I won't read those ;-)

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