Let’s Talk Potty Training, Shall We.

Alternative title....If you Have to Go Potty, Stop and Go Right Away! (Thank you Daniel Tiger.  This song really does help Henry but now I sing it when I have to go *eyeroll*)

So when Henry was around 18-20 months old he started taking an interest in the potty.  He wanted to sit on it, because well we sat on it and Henry likes to do EVERYTHING we do.  He wanted to “go pee” which normally meant he would sit there and play with toilet paper.  We thought 20 months seemed a little early to take interest in the toilet and potty training, so we kept it casual and kept emphasizing how cool the potty was and if he wanted to try to go we let him and got excited for him, but all without pushing anything.

We got a built in child seat that just folds up into our toilet seat and he loved it.  HERE. Shortly after his second birthday he was going more and more on the potty and we started talking to the teachers about potty training.  He would yell “pee coming, pee coming; poop coming poop coming” while running to the bathroom and loved to go and was starting to make it every single time to the potty!  Again, this was all because HE wanted to do it and not pushed by us.  (Our child is VERY strong willed and does things on his “own” terms.) 

We actually bought underwear and thought….dang, at this rate he will be potty trained by the first of the year!!

Yeah...silly first time parents.

And then Henry started getting sick more and was basically sick on and off from Halloween through the end of the year.  When he was sick he wouldn’t always want to use the potty so we didn’t push anything.  (Perhaps our mistake?!) When he started feeling better during that time we got back into our routine, not anticipating he would be sick again a week or two later.  Well after his sickness was over after the first of the year we and the school got back into potty training.  Diaper only at night and underwear the rest of the time with the occasional pull-ups on..

At school Henry is better about going to the potty, though there is a #2 issue.  But I think he is on a set schedule and other kids go and he wants to do what other kids do and he is just use to going at school.  So he will have an accident maybe one of the three days at school, but does really well there.

At home, well Henry has all of a sudden taken an aversion to going at home.  He will be grabbing like he has to go and we will ask and he says “NO” and when we take him in to try he usually fights and screams it the entire way.  It is SO weird, because he use to want to spend 30 minutes in the bathroom and now we can barely get him in there for 1 minute to pee. 

Now, I get that it is still on the earlier side for potty training as he is 28 months.  But I feel now that we have started and he does so well at school we are kind of in it.  I don’t want to go back because he IS doing a great job most of the time.  But this new found aversion to going at home is just odd to me and we are not sure what to do next.

I talked to his teacher and we have their “potty schedule” and try to stay consistent with that at home and make him go at those times.  But again, he just doesn’t want to do it or will say NO and fight it when you can see full well he has to go!!  Again, he is stubborn.  He will also wait until he is about to pee and then say he needs to potty and then pees right there because he waited too long.  And as for pooping….he loved to poop on the potty a couple months ago.  He would read his “mag” and thought it was funny to flush his poop.  We would spend 30 minutes in there!! (Typical man) But the past week we will take him in and make him pee and ask if he has to poop and he says NO and literally in the time it takes for him to wash his hands and go into the living room we catch him pooping in his underwear. DUDE!  We were just in the bathroom!! Sigh.

This week it happened once at school (he hates pooping at school anyways) and twice at home.  Last night alone it happened and then a little later I saw him make the face and got him into the bathroom with a hanger…but had I not ran in there with him, he would have done it twice yesterday evening.

Now, in regards to accidents we are calm.  No yelling or getting mad. (we have plenty of other things he does to get mad and yell at him for!)  We just explain the importance of going to the potty IN the potty and that he is a big boy now, blah blah, blah….

And then this week we have resorted to bribing with M&M’s. (I KNOW, DON’T JUDGE!)  We were giving him stickers after he peed to put on a potty chart and he loved that but I think he is a bit over it so now he gets one M&M if he pees and two if he, well #2’s :-) Note: My parenting book will be out this fall with many other amazing tips and ways to bribe your kids to do stuff. It is called..."Go Fetch; Now Here's Your Treat" which is the sister book to "My Son, The Man Servant".  

I digress.

We are also wondering if we need to get him his own small potty, though I would prefer him going in the BIG potty as I really really do not want to clean out the small one.  YUCK.

So let me ask, how do YOU potty train your kids?  I get that every kid is different, but I am curious what has worked/not worked for you.  Did your kid ever revert back a bit or get tired of going in the potty?  What motivation did you use?  Did you use pull-ups?  Was your kid stubborn and wanting to do it all on their own terms?!

Talk to me!!

Talk to Me – Letting Your Kids (Sort of) Be Free in Public

Let’s talk shopping/going to public places with a near two year old, shall we.

Preface: See the silliness, sweetness and innocence in this picture?!?! Well DON’T BE FOOLED!!!

Ok, Henry actually IS a very sweet boy.  Loves to snuggle, give out hugs and kisses, he always has a stuffed animal to squeeze on, wants to help around the house and do EVERY chore we do.  Seriously, a sweet boy.

However, he is also extremely ornery and full of energy and wants to get into EVERYTHING.

There is NO slowing down for this child.

And all this energy is now combined with a new sense of independence and eagerness to do everything on HIS own.

That brings me to my story.

...

So a week ago we went to the grocery store.  We went to put Henry in the cart and he was NOT having it.  Terry and I were trying to reason, then force, then bribe him to sit down in the cart but all was to no avail and ended with a 34 pound toddler clutching to me and screaming. 

The boy wanted to walk.

So walk it was.

I was a bit nervous at first.  I didn’t want us to be those parents with a near two year old running around the store, bumping into people, or grabbing everything off the shelf.  The visions of what could transpire scared me but as we had about a cup of milk, week old pasta, and random condiments in our fridge a shopping trip was necessary so we ventured on with a toddler “leading” the way.

We told him he HAD to hold onto the side of the cart and one of our hands and he could only take stuff off the shelf if we told him too.

And folks, he did.

Ok, ok….there was a slight distraction in the frozen food section with the rows of doors to open and all that cold stuff. AND in the cheese section where he went down the line and literally threw one of everything into the cart while Terry and I put them all mostly back.  (But it is cheese, so who can blame him.)

But overall he did REALLY well!  I mean really well...I was truly impressed and proud of him!!

And at one point, when his little legs needed a break, he asked to go in the cart.

Uh, YES you can go into the cart!!

So the last 15 minutes of the trip he was contained.  Awesome.

Now of course my fear is that he is going to want to keep doing this, being free to roam the store. 

I know, I know…..we started it. 

If both of us go it shouldn’t be an issue, but with one it just wouldn’t work as someone needs to keep their eye on and a firm grasp on that sneaky kid while the other shops.  Seriously, would NOT feel comfortable letting him roam with just me and him in a busy store.  I feel safer when he is in the cart.

And the same thing happened this weekend at the Zoo.  He was OK riding in his stroller at first and when he ate his snack, but soon the boy wanted to walk.  And honestly, we wanted him to walk…the purpose of a trip to the zoo is to get him tired for bed!  Can I get an amen, parents?!?!  

And he did pretty well.  There were only a couple times of fighting the hand holding, walking infront of someone, or asking to be picked up (which was not an option…ride or walk little dude) but overall he did well…..and fell asleep early at bedtime! Win, Win for everyone!

But now that he is exerting his independence more, it is becoming increasingly harder and more frustrating to keep him contained.  I know, we are the parents and we have the control.  But as you all know, when a kid is screaming/crying and fighting to not do something they don’t want to do that child suddenly turns into a baby hulk with extreme strength and supernatural like powers!!! 

And while we don’t give in all the time or very much, I feel like sometimes we also have to let them prove to us what they are capable and not capable of doing.  I know I am guilty of either thinking he is ready to do something when he is not or thinking he isn’t ready to do something and it turns out he is.  Three months ago, he was not capable or even willing to walk around on his own while also listening to us.  Now, he is.

The fact remains, he listened to us in both these situations.  He held our hand and thoroughly enjoyed being a “big boy” and helping us out and exploring.  Oh how he loves to help.  Had he not listened, he would be in the cart (or stroller) screaming or one of us would take him to the car.

Moving forward, I don’t know what to expect with him when we are at the store or out in a public setting.  Will he mind riding in the cart/stroller or want to walk?!  Will he be mad to be contained or mad that he has to walk?  Toddlers are totally unpredictable and just time bombs ready to go off at any moment because of any factor!!  I know that each outing could be different with different results.  The thing is I want him to be able to be independent and I also want him to learn how he is suppose to act in public, which includes learning our rules and boundaries that we have 

So let me ask you this, how do you handle your toddler in public places?  Do they always need to be contained/restrained in a cart or stroller?  Do you let them walk with you?  What are your rules? What do you do if they are fighting whatever situation you have them in?

And in all seriousness, what are your thoughts about a child on a leash?!?!

This still cracks me up!!  

P.S. the boy can unclip the seat belt in the cart and stroller. (I can hardly do that!) so even when we get him in, he can decide when to get out. Sigh.

Henry Not Talk….Henry Smash….Henry Scream….Mom & Dad Drink

Let’s talk about hitting and communicating and the frustration for your toddler and for you when you are having issues with both, shall we?