2010 – The Year of Busted Stuff

So I try not to complain too much (though my husband may respectfully disagree) but there is a trend I am noticing for this year and I have to say that I am not so much a fan of it.



So what is the trend? All our shit is breaking!


Yep, I believe 2010 is the year that all our crap breaks….and is also the year of the Tiger (of the Tiger getting caught with a couple dozen mistresses…say what!)

 Now it is common for things to break here and there….but this year it seems to be almost like some running joke in our house, albeit a sick joke that makes me want to cry and eat a bag of pretzels and Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, but a joke nevertheless. Now I am not looking for sympathy with this post (though please feel free to send donations c/o HOWARD RELIEF 2010 and in the memo – “Busted Stuff”) so please do not take it that way. But because of the absolutely absurd amount of crap that has broke not even 9 months into the year I feel it is my duty (teehee) to share because seriously, it is just crazy.


Stuff is just reaching that time where things naturally need fixed. My car is a 2001 Honda and is AMAZING (I heart Hondas) but as it approaches 10 years old it needs some basic fixes to keep it going another 10 years. Terry’s car is a 1991 VW (T. hearts VW’s) and it needs work to keep it going a few more years. The house was built in 1980 and has many original items, and therefore all that stuff is starting to need a little work…..kind of like me. Stuff just be getting old.  Plus I would much rather all this happen this year then next when T. is gone. And after 2010 is over we should seriously be all fixed up for awhile….and what isn’t fixed is getting duct taped.




So what is on our list this year of shit that decided to stop working?


1. Heater broke. Yep, on a very cold evening in January we lost heat. Brrrrrrr. Furnace = Fixed.
However a new furnace will be needed in about 3 years. = sigh
New coils were also fixed in the basement as they were starting to go bad and they were there to fix it then.


2. Volkswagen needed some new belt thing = Fixed


3. VW needs brakes, shocks & struts and rotors turned = Waiting to be fixed


4. Honda air conditioned broke this summer = Fixed


5. New battery for Honda = Fixed


6. Back shocks and struts on Honda needed replaced = Fixed


7. Front shock and struts on Honda need replaced = Waiting to be fixed.


8. New tires on Honda before November = Waiting to be fixed.


9. Honda started making a new noise when braking = Next on list to be fixed


10. There was a recall on the Honda for a switch that needed fixed. = Fixed…FOR FREEEEEE!


11. Computer’s power supply broke = Fixed


12. Dishwasher broke = New dishwasher with the help of my awesome parents! THANK YOU!!!


13. Air conditioned just started making this horrible noise when it shuts off and needs looked at = Waiting till Fall to look at it.


14. 17 year old washer decided to stop working 2 weeks ago…mid cycle of course = New washer purchased


15. Got a call from T. Monday saying that as he was heading to lunch his axel & some kind of ball joint thing on his car fell off and basically his tire was barely hanging on. (For the record can I just say I do NOT care about the car in this case and just that T. was in a parking lot at work and not on the highway going to class. My stomach turns thinking what might have happened if this would have broke even 20 minutes later. Losing a wheel on the highway at 70 mph. I seriously feel sick.) = Fixed.


16. After that little scare T. asked the shop to inspect the car thoroughly and see what else needs updated. We got a list that includes a few more things not previously mentioned above like a new exhaust, tires, and a couple other smaller items. = Waiting to be fixed



The thing is our cars are actually really great cars, though from the sounds of it I am sure no one wants to ride with us! It is just stuff that happens over time and needs taken care of. The good thing about all the car stuff is that 1) Terry works at NAPA and can get parts there for a deal 2) he has worked with some of the shops in town for nearly 15 years and that is nice because they don’t always charge for all the BS (like buying parts)…just their labor, 3) if we can invest some money now it will allow us to not have to make a car payment for at least 2 years until after he graduates from CCMS which is going to be huge, and 4) Terry can do some of this stuff himself which saves money.


YES it is VERY frustrating having this all happen at once but at the same time what can we do about it. Shit happens; and in our case shit happens and then breaks.  So you fix it an move on.  But if you cannot get ahold of me, please check any of the local repair shops in the area….or the ice cream section at Meijer.




This is ONE year. ONE FLIPP’N YEAR. Nuck’n Futs, right?!

Being a grown up is sooooo much fun :)

Really Census, You Are Just A Tease.

So that is it? That is all the information you wanted from us? You have had a bunch of commercials, you sent me a letter saying the census was coming, you sent me the actual census, and then you sent a postcard reminding me to fill out my census because it is "mandatory under law" and all you wanted to know about me was my name, age and race?!


Sigh

For the record Census I like filling out forms and for as much as you spent working me up I think you should have asked more about me. For instance are you interested in my favorite color, maybe my favorite TV show, or how about hobbies I have? Yes maybe you do not need that information right now, though I am sure you could find good use for it, but it would have made me feel like I was contributing more and would think “hey these people really are interested in me!” I guess you are just a tease Census…you pumped me up and got me all excited to fill out your forms and then it was like you didn’t put out at the end of it and then on top of that you threaten me to fill out your boring forms!! Not cool. I feel very disappointed Census; I thought we were going to have something very special.

I Was Just About Speechless…..

Last night I watched the show Hoarders on A&E. Um, WOW.

I knew it would be about people who kept everything and lived in a messy house, but I don’t think I was ready for what I saw on this show. I was thinking of something like Clean House Extreme Edition but what I saw was a lady who has been hoarding for over a decade and when they cleaned they found not one but TWO dead cat remains; remains most likely that have been there for many years. Again WOW. I will tell you what, Niecy Nash would not sign up to host this show…oh hell no.

Seriously, I watched in absolute amazement and pure disgust. Our house isn’t by any means perfect, it is a very “lived in” house and I am not always fussy about keeping things in order all the time, but the one ladies bathroom (the one with the dead cats) had excrement on the floor and the toilet looked like it hadn’t been flushed in years. And another episode showed a family who had two school aged kids and a toddler living in the mess. Horrible. Another lady found a cabbage on the floor that was black with mold. She peeled off the outer layer and wrapped it back up in a bag saying it was still good. Obviously these people have serious problems.

So with as disgusting as the show is you may think I will never watch the show again, but you would be wrong. I am totally fascinated by this show and the people and their reasoning on why they hoard. I also am amazed that these people don’t really see the “mess” the same way we see the mess. Very interesting. Yep, I will keep watching this show and the whole time I watch my hands will be over my mouth and I will keep saying “WOW. You have to be kidding me. That is disgusting.” I think I repeated that phrase 15 times last night. I think the show also wanted to make me clean, it could be a good thing watching the show. We will just start purging everything :)

Smart Cars – They Don’t Seem That Smart

This is a Smart Car.


Oh wait, no, I think I may be confused.


THIS is a Smart Car.


So here is the thing, I would never EVER buy a Smart Car. Besides the fact that I just think they look ugly and they are too expensive for what you are getting; I think there is nothing about a smart car that looks safe or comfortable.


So because I enjoy lists and hate Smart cars I have decided to compile a list of reasons why I think Smart Cars are Dumb.


1) My friends’ kids have toy cars bigger than a smart car. (see pic of the little tikes car above)

2) Have you ever seen a smart car driving next to a semi-truck on the highway when everyone is going 65 miles per hour? If you have, then that image alone should be enough to scare anyone away from a not-so-smart car. I mean seriously. Are you trying to kill yourself.

3) When I see a person climb out of or into a smart car I think of a clown car. It really looks awkward and uncomfortable and not meant for someone over 5’2” or who isn’t a practicing contortionist.

4) I believe my Grandpa’s Hoveround is safer and goes faster than a smart car. And is a hell of alot cooler, did you see that commercial where the lady just spins in circles?! That is awesome.

5) I am fairly certain a person could just come by and pick up your smart car and easily walk off with it….if they really wanted one THAT bad.

6) Fact: You would not be able to make it over a speed bump, let alone an actual hill. Though in good news if you can’t actually drive up the hill you can just carry your car up the hill.

7) Question: Do you think based on the amount of space inside the car, that there is even room to have a full airbag, or do they just use a balloon? I am going with a balloon.

8) I believe the Smart car goes from 0 to 60 in a mere 5 minutes and 42 seconds*. That is almost as powerful as most lawn mower engines, almost.

9) I think if you took a turn too fast your Smart car would flip. And too fast for a Smart car is most likely 20 mph. And by flip I mean just fall over on its side.

10) If it hails, rains too hard, or a leaf falls on your smart car it may dent it.



Now, I shouldn’t be all hate'n on the Smart car as it does have a few good features, albeit completely pointless features, but good features nonetheless.

1. It takes only 6 – 1.5 volt (D) Duracell Batteries to run your smart car. Seriously, what a bargain.

2. You don’t have to worry about anyone stealing your car, because really who wants to be caught stealing a smart car.

3. You can get your smart car with a convertible top. Because that is, um, really cool and stylish….I think.

4. You and your 5 year old can have races between your smart car and their electric Kids Wheel car. Though your child may have a slight advantage.

5. You don’t have to worry about driving the car pool to work.

6. Because they made a mini bus smart car and that is just awesome. I seriously must have this.



7. In the winter you could just store your smart car on a shelf in your garage.

8. There will be less dead squirrels on the side of the road, because there is no way that a smart car could kill a squirrel and if someone did hit a squirrel it would cause a lot of damage to the car while the squirrel will remain unharmed. (And frankly, squirrels know this and are not at all afraid of smart cars.)

9. Shopping trips to the local grocers will be cheap, as all you have room to fit in your car would be one bag of groceries and a ½ gallon of milk.

10. You can fit 5 smart cars in one parking space.



So maybe the smart car isn't that bad. Oh who am I kidding, Smart cars SUCK! And if you have a smart car and this offends you I am sorry. Sorry you have a smart car and know I am right! ;)



*This is not an official number, I was just being funny. I seriously doubt the car would actually EVER reach 60 miles per hour. And for the record, I refuse to acknowledge a Smart car as an actual car.

For Your Next Book Club Meeting

Yep, 16 year old Miley Cyrus has an autobiography out...because that makes sense.

Also, Lauren (LC) Conrad has a book.

I am SURE both these books will be just riveting. ugh

I will take a little of that. NO. Well how about some of those? NO. What about...NO.

So I went to Subway to get a veggie sub for dinner and this is how it went down. (btw I went to an actual store...not a subway in a gas station)

Conversation:
Me: "I would like a veggie sub on monterey cheddar"
Subway Girl: "We are out of that. Actually ALL we have is wheat."
Me: "That is fine." (Funny thing it WAS fine, I get wheat 99.9% of the time. That is what I get for switching it up.)
SG: "What cheese?"
Me: "Provolone, please."
SG: "We are out of provolone."
Me: "American then."
SG: "Would you like the works?"
Me: "No I will take lettuce, tomato, pickles and black olives."
SG: "We are out of pickles and tomatoes."
Me: "Ok, just the lettuce and black olives and a few green peppers."
(sidenote: She then proceeds to put what looked like 2 pieces of lettuce on my veggie sub...why do they do that?!?! I get veggie subs alot and they always skimp on the lettuce. Bad form subway artists, bad form.)
Me: "May I have some more lettuce."
SG: "ok. Anything else?"
Me: "Parmesan cheese, and a little Italian dressing."
Wait for it....
SG: "We are out of italian dressing. I am sorry."
Me: "Some oil and vinegar then."


In the meantime the people behind me walked out after they heard everything that the store did not have. Quote "You have nothing - no bread, no cheese, no meat, no pickles, no business." I didn't care all that much, I actually felt bad...you could tell they were frustrated as well. But I did find it weird that a subway store was out of ALL the breads but wheat along with some other basic things. I mean if you wanted a sub on any bread other then wheat, with ham, provolone, tomato, pickles, onions, and Italian dressing.....well you would be shit out of luck my friends.

Not Everything Should Be Turned Into A Musical.

So I heard today that they are making a Broadway Musical of Spider-Man. It is called "Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark" and will feature music and lyrics by U2’s Bono and the Edge. It will make its way to the stage in 2010. Evan Rachel Wood announced she will be in the production as Mary Jane.

Uh, ok....interesting.

Thoughts?

There Are Just Some Things That Shouldn't Be Marketed For Valentines Day

So I signed up to receive special offers from Rosetta Stone, the language learning system. I want to learn a new language and some day I will have the $500 to do so.

Anyways I got an email today that was marketing Rosetta Stone for Valentines Day. Hmmmm, really? I don’t really care to celebrate Valentines Day anyways, usually just a card but no gifts, but if I did celebrate and we were going to be spending that kind of money on each other I wouldn’t want Rosetta Stone…well not unless a vacation to the place I was learning the language was with it. I know I said I want it, but as a gift on a day that celebrates "love"….not so much.

In the email there was a picture of a couple holding hands and it said, “Rediscover what you love about the World.” “Share a new language-learning journey this year with someone you love. Rosetta Stone makes it easy with our Valentines Day Offer.”

This really just made me laugh!



Rosetta Stone isn’t the worst, here are other products/companies I thought that should probably avoid marketing specifically with Valentines Day Specials. Join in!!

-Rosetta Stone - Learn A New Language Valentines Special: “If you are tired of listening to your spouse yell at you in your language, make them learn one you don’t understand.”

-Pharmaceutical Companies - Genital Herpes Crèmes Valentines Special: “For the love in your life who has everything, including a sexually transmitted disease”

-The Weight Loss Industry – Gym Membership Valentines Special: “Don’t give something to the one you love, take something away….like those extra pounds.”

-Alcohol/Liquor Companies – Liquor Valentines Special: “Rekindle that romance by getting your special love as drunk as the first time you met. You can thank us in the morning.”

-Gas Stations – Gas Card Valentines Special: “Give your wife the kind of gas that she will enjoy!”

-Therapists* – Therapy Valentines Special: “Has Your Loved One Gone Crazy? Give Help. Call a Therapist.”

-Cosmetic Surgery Companies - Botox Valentines Special: “The perfect gift for that special sagging someone who is not get any younger.”

- Fast Food Restaurants – Gift Card Valentines Special: “Because that was the best idea I could come up for the person I love.”






*Please note: If you go to a Therapist I am not saying you are crazy….I think Therapy can be a very good thing. I am just attempting to be funny.

Kohl's, Your One Stop Shop For Slippers, Scarves and Swiss Army Knives?!?!

This cracked me up!!!

I really wish I could get a better picture of this but I had to share anyways. I was looking online at Kohls and I clicked on the "Women's Accessories" link. This is what came up...
Click HERE to see the actual website, as the pics below are not great.

Right next to the women's scarves, belts, slippers, sunglasses, and cold-weather accessories there was a link for Swiss army knives. Um sure, why not.

And there is just not one style of Swiss army knife available for us multipurpose & practical women but many options and colors. You can even get one in watermelon pink if you feel like keeping your knife/scissor /screwdriver combo a bit more feminine.

*Just in case you were wondering most come with a pen blade, nail file, nail cleaner, screwdriver, serrated-edge scissors, toothpick, tweezers & key ring. I laugh, but it IS actually kind of practical, you no! shhh

Really HIMYM....You Couldn't Get Anyone Else? I Mean, Really.

So T & I just started watching How I Met Your Mother the end of last season. We actually really enjoy the show, and the fact that Terry enjoys it is saying something because he isn't typically a fan of shows like this. (Never liked Friends, Seinfeld, etc..)

So anywho, I have yet to tell him the news of who the latest guest (not-star) additions are to the show. Click Here. Kim Kardashian, Heidi Montag, and that small-minded asshole who thinks he is better then everyone else and thinks he is actually someone important... guy (I refuse to mention him by name on my blog). Yep, the show is bringing them on.

WHY, HIMYM....WHYYYYYYY?!?!

I mean, you are a cool show. I bet there are tons of cool people that would love to be on your show, and yet you went with those 3 people. I don't want to tell Terry, he may ban this show forever because of this!

The only redeeming quality with this episode is that the reason these 3 tools are on the show is because Marshall feels as though he can't poop at work (thus his magazine covers coming to life I guess). Poop is always funny. So maybe it will be funny because it is about poop, though I am thinking an episode about poop without these extra poopheads in it would be much better.

(I am really not a mean person, but come on!)

Please Help Me Understand This "Bailout" Stuff

Ok, so I am going to admit, I am confused about this bailout stuff. Click here for Bush's speech....it is easier for me to read it then listen to him read it.

I mean I get the general idea. The government wants to buy from certain firms their assets at the currently low prices and hold on to them until things are "back to normal" and in doing so spending up to $700 billion. Obviously they are proposing that this will help reduce a "long and painful recession" that we are facing. (Of course heaven forbid we used that "R" word even a few months ago.)

So I really don't fully understand the idea of this Bailout. Mind you I am asking questions and answering them with parts of the transcript from his speech last night. I am not stupid, I get the idea...I just still have questions, that were not addressed in the speech about how this is going to go down if it happens.

- So where are they getting this crazy amount of money - taxpayers of course. "It is difficult to pass a bill that commits so much of the taxpayers' hard-earned money." If they allocate up to $700 billion of our tax dollars for this what then happens to our other government expenses? The other places our tax dollars are SUPPOSE to go? Do those things get placed on a back burner? Do we have the money to also cover those pre-existing expenses? And will our money be going to pay the ridiculous salary of some CEO at one of these companies? What will happen to those of us who pay their loans and pay their mortgage and pay their taxes, but are still struggling to get by? (Am I selfish - no, Concerned - yes)

Is this considered a short-term solution? "In the short term, this will free up banks to resume the flow of credit to American families and businesses, and this will help our economy grow." Wouldn't that put us back where we are? I mean sure I want my credit back where it was, but does this also mean handing out more loans? That is what they are saying got us here in the first place.

Is this also a long-term solution? "The government is the one institution with the patience and resources to buy these assets at their current low prices and hold them until markets return to normal. And when that happens, money will flow back to the Treasury as these assets are sold, and we expect that much, if not all, of the tax dollars we invest will be paid back." How long before this happens. Months, a year, longer?? What is the plan in the meantime?

Will this be something that helps us at the moment but then in a few years we are going to be back in the same boat we are now? How are we going to prevent this from happening....a band-aid doesn't heal the wound. And are we helping just the companies or also the individuals who have fallen to foreclosures or other debt because of this?

I mean I unfortunately have credit card debt, and to me it sounds like we are covering up one debt by creating a new debt? Maybe I am way wrong, like I said I don't fully understand and stupid news shows are not helping at all.


So if you have a better idea of how this is suppose to work, I would appreciate it. I also don't want to come across as reluctant to pay or back this proposal, but I have questions and concerns about this. I also have concerns with the timing of this all. I mean, we can't go in the past but we have been talking about this possibility for some time now - I guess some just didn't want to hear it them.

You Might be a Tool If.....

....you wash your car at a car wash at 6:00 p.m. when the current temperature is 15 degrees.

(I wonder how cool you will be when your car doors, windows and other parts freeze. JACKASS!)

Why?

Why do some people say they want to lose or have lost "LB's" instead of just saying the word pounds? It is one thing to use "lb" when writing, but not when talking.

I have heard this before and a guy at T.'s office party last weekend said it. It annoyed me....just say pounds - not "LB's"!!!

Is it a guy thing? I don't know why it bothers me so...it just does.

(Sorry if you say that, it is just one of those things I don't get.)