Talk to Me – Early Risers

Dear Parents who love sleep as much as I do and have early risers, tell me….how do you keep your kid/s in their room in the morning?!!

Before moving to the big boy bed, Henry would wake up early but contently laid in his crib.  He would talk to his 15 “friends” that were in bed with him, watch his projector “movie”, or even find ways to reach his toys through the crib bars and bring toys in to his prison crib to play.  Honestly, he would be fine in there for 30+ minutes (emphasis on the +) which gave mom and dad time to wake up without a kid all up in our business sleep a little longer.

And then we moved him to a big boy bed and sleep seemed to cease as we know it.

Now, we get a wake up call anywhere from 5:00am – 6:00am (6:30 IF we are lucky) that goes something like this:

Hear rustling in his bed through the monitor.

Hear footsteps run to the door, open door, slam the door closed. (always slamming doors)

Hear bathroom door open, slam close and peeing.

Hear flushing and slamming the toilet seat closed. (We get it kid, you presence is known)

Hear rather loud footsteps RUN down the hall. (My son walks like Godzilla, I swear)

See blinding light flash in the room as terry and I reach for the sheets to protect our eyes from the light.

Hear “Time to get up!!!!” Usually followed by “I want to go downstairs and get pancakes!!!” Followed by “MOM!  No more sleeping!”

Sometimes he will crawl into bed with us (save your “awwwwww, that is sweet” until you read the rest) but bring the loudest, most obnoxious toys** ever to play with in our bed before we have had enough and just go downstairs.  Well played my son.  Well. Played. 

(And yes, that is actually our room with the snoopy stuffed animals and lava lamp.)

This week alone it has been this monkey that screams, a toy truck that has batteries dying so gets stuck on the same annoying 3 seconds of a song repeatedly when turned on, and pig bank with coins that sings.

UGH.

Now we had tried putting a child lock on the door knob on the inside when we first moved him to the bed.  That lasted all of THREE days before he figured out how to remove it.  We taped that thing on and he kept removing it.  Sure, it delayed the inevitable….but it just became a pain for us to keep putting back on.

Last night we moved a few door knobs and put one with a locking mechanism on backwards so we could lock it from the outside and he would be locked in.  This morning instead of hearing the footsteps we hear pounding on the door followed by “MOM, I HAVE TO PEE NOW!!!!”

Fail.

I have heard about and seen these.

HERE

HERE

Wake up clocks.  I guess I wonder if they really do work?

See, I have a very independent toddler.  The kind of toddler who knows he isn’t supposed to do something, but does it anyways.  Example, he had a screw (don’t judge) and was hammering it into an empty box because Terry was using a screw and Henry wanted to do the same.  Henry went to the wall and wanted to hammer it in the wall.  Of course we yell say “NO!  Do not hammer that into the wall.  You are not allowed to do that.”  To which he replies “Yeah, I know but it will be OK.  It is fun!”

Yeah, that is what we are working with here.

So, I am not sure if one of those clocks would keep him in the room or not.  Plus, if he has to pee, it won’t get him back in the bed once he is out.

So talk to me parents:  Do you lock your kids in the room?  Do you let them come into your room?  Do you just suck it up and get up at 5am with them?  Do they stay in their room when asked?  How do you handle the potty situation? 

Just curious!

**Please note that we do not buy the obnoxious toys and have noted those who give us obnoxious toys so we can return the favor.  We are not ungrateful for the toys....but come on parents, I think we agree that there are select toys out there that if you receive from someone, chances are they are trying to tell you they don't like you or you did something to piss them off!!!

Let’s Talk Potty Training, Shall We.

Alternative title....If you Have to Go Potty, Stop and Go Right Away! (Thank you Daniel Tiger.  This song really does help Henry but now I sing it when I have to go *eyeroll*)

So when Henry was around 18-20 months old he started taking an interest in the potty.  He wanted to sit on it, because well we sat on it and Henry likes to do EVERYTHING we do.  He wanted to “go pee” which normally meant he would sit there and play with toilet paper.  We thought 20 months seemed a little early to take interest in the toilet and potty training, so we kept it casual and kept emphasizing how cool the potty was and if he wanted to try to go we let him and got excited for him, but all without pushing anything.

We got a built in child seat that just folds up into our toilet seat and he loved it.  HERE. Shortly after his second birthday he was going more and more on the potty and we started talking to the teachers about potty training.  He would yell “pee coming, pee coming; poop coming poop coming” while running to the bathroom and loved to go and was starting to make it every single time to the potty!  Again, this was all because HE wanted to do it and not pushed by us.  (Our child is VERY strong willed and does things on his “own” terms.) 

We actually bought underwear and thought….dang, at this rate he will be potty trained by the first of the year!!

Yeah...silly first time parents.

And then Henry started getting sick more and was basically sick on and off from Halloween through the end of the year.  When he was sick he wouldn’t always want to use the potty so we didn’t push anything.  (Perhaps our mistake?!) When he started feeling better during that time we got back into our routine, not anticipating he would be sick again a week or two later.  Well after his sickness was over after the first of the year we and the school got back into potty training.  Diaper only at night and underwear the rest of the time with the occasional pull-ups on..

At school Henry is better about going to the potty, though there is a #2 issue.  But I think he is on a set schedule and other kids go and he wants to do what other kids do and he is just use to going at school.  So he will have an accident maybe one of the three days at school, but does really well there.

At home, well Henry has all of a sudden taken an aversion to going at home.  He will be grabbing like he has to go and we will ask and he says “NO” and when we take him in to try he usually fights and screams it the entire way.  It is SO weird, because he use to want to spend 30 minutes in the bathroom and now we can barely get him in there for 1 minute to pee. 

Now, I get that it is still on the earlier side for potty training as he is 28 months.  But I feel now that we have started and he does so well at school we are kind of in it.  I don’t want to go back because he IS doing a great job most of the time.  But this new found aversion to going at home is just odd to me and we are not sure what to do next.

I talked to his teacher and we have their “potty schedule” and try to stay consistent with that at home and make him go at those times.  But again, he just doesn’t want to do it or will say NO and fight it when you can see full well he has to go!!  Again, he is stubborn.  He will also wait until he is about to pee and then say he needs to potty and then pees right there because he waited too long.  And as for pooping….he loved to poop on the potty a couple months ago.  He would read his “mag” and thought it was funny to flush his poop.  We would spend 30 minutes in there!! (Typical man) But the past week we will take him in and make him pee and ask if he has to poop and he says NO and literally in the time it takes for him to wash his hands and go into the living room we catch him pooping in his underwear. DUDE!  We were just in the bathroom!! Sigh.

This week it happened once at school (he hates pooping at school anyways) and twice at home.  Last night alone it happened and then a little later I saw him make the face and got him into the bathroom with a hanger…but had I not ran in there with him, he would have done it twice yesterday evening.

Now, in regards to accidents we are calm.  No yelling or getting mad. (we have plenty of other things he does to get mad and yell at him for!)  We just explain the importance of going to the potty IN the potty and that he is a big boy now, blah blah, blah….

And then this week we have resorted to bribing with M&M’s. (I KNOW, DON’T JUDGE!)  We were giving him stickers after he peed to put on a potty chart and he loved that but I think he is a bit over it so now he gets one M&M if he pees and two if he, well #2’s :-) Note: My parenting book will be out this fall with many other amazing tips and ways to bribe your kids to do stuff. It is called..."Go Fetch; Now Here's Your Treat" which is the sister book to "My Son, The Man Servant".  

I digress.

We are also wondering if we need to get him his own small potty, though I would prefer him going in the BIG potty as I really really do not want to clean out the small one.  YUCK.

So let me ask, how do YOU potty train your kids?  I get that every kid is different, but I am curious what has worked/not worked for you.  Did your kid ever revert back a bit or get tired of going in the potty?  What motivation did you use?  Did you use pull-ups?  Was your kid stubborn and wanting to do it all on their own terms?!

Talk to me!!

SO MUCH TO DO! SO MUCH TO DO! Is This What the Holiday’s Are About?!?!

This time of year.  Oh this time of year.

I love this time of year.  It really is my favorite.  I love giving and let’s be honest, receiving.  I love the snow and the decorations and the cookies and the festivities and the music and family.  I love it all!!

And it is all those things and so much more that also make this time of year so stressful and that make me frustrated during the time of year that I love so much.

Sigh.

I am sure I am not the only one.  We ALL do this.  It is almost like a ritualistic form of torture that we put ourselves through this time of year.  We put so much on our plate (literally and figuratively) that by the time Christmas day gets here we are exhausted and over the holidays.  To say the holiday spirit is being sucked out of me quickly is an understatement.  Though at work I am trying to maintain the spirit I have left by dressing up!!

 (Those are ornament bulb earrings & a fun green braclet!)

And the thing that sucks, is most* of the time I do all this to myself.  I create the stress.

Right now I have this to do list:

- Order Christmas, nah, New Years Cards

- I still have Christmas gifts to buy (a few people I still have no clue what to get!)

- Make cookies (extra for his school)

- Clean House

- Wrap gifts

- Send gifts to a couple friends

- Figure out Christmas dinner

- Buy gift for work exchange

- Make food for work

- Go grocery shopping (which I don’t think I have done in a couple weeks except for basics)

- Put Henry’s gifts together

- Plan meals for the holidays

- Plan Christmas get together

Not to mention things I want to do with Henry like take him to the Lights Before Christmas, build a gingerbread house, bake cookies with him, play in the snow, enjoy this time of year!!!

On top of that we are ALL STILL sick and I have an ear infection and I have to go to the hospital for a chest X-Ray and all of it just makes feel blah.

I just have NO time to get everything I want done and I am stressing myself out and making myself feel like crap because I can’t get it all done.

IS THIS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT?!?!

"'And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not; for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill towards men.'"

"...That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown……er, Jenn"

I need to STOP. 

I need to BREATHE.

I need to BE IN THE MOMENT.

I need to REMEMBER THE REAL MEANING OF THIS TIME OF YEAR.

(ok, I am done talking loudly!  I just have trouble controlling the volume of my voice….or fingers)

I feel some strengths of mine are also the weaknesses that create this stress. That is planning/entertaining/organization.  I envision things a certain way and get frustrated when they don’t turn out….and with a child, they don’t always turn out.  I get caught up in the moment and forget to STOP and take the moment IN.   I may not want things to be perfect by I want them to be loved by all and if I think one thing went wrong then it ALL went wrong.   I plan and plan and plan and want things to follow that plan exactly….if dinner is suppose to be at 5:15 it is AT 5:15, not 5:20.  

I am definitely not a go with the flow kind of person.  I have list upon list  upon list and cannot deviate from that.

You see where I am going with this?! 

Yeah, I sound AWESOME to be around during the holidays, no?!

As great as some of my strengths in the details and planning are, they also are the things that hinder me or that I obsess about or that make me miss the moments I shouldn’t miss.

I have tried hard since Henry was born to STOP.  Ok, this last year I have tried.  In some ways I have succeeded and others I fall back into my old ways. 

Like last Friday Henry has his school program.  I was SO excited for this because I thought it would be a great memory.  I got off work a little early (not early enough apparently) and picked up Henry and made a cheese tray and got him some pizza and Terry and I got him ready.  We were rushing rushing rushing.  Henry is going the potty like a big boy (YAY!!), but I was just like…come on, wear a diaper don’t pee in the potty which he didn’t like.  I am not mad or yelling, just short and snippy because we have to go!!  We get there 3 minutes late and I grab Henry from the car and Terry parks it and we run in and I basically throw him to the teachers and see my baby reaching out to me, confused at what is going on….but I have to get him to the program, right?!  Well apparently they start right on time and we missed the toddler performance.  Then we see Henry at the end in the finale and he is looking for us and looks so sad, and we are in the back waving but he can’t see us.  He looks so uncomfortable and sad and I just want to grab him….but NO, I had to get him up there to make memories!!  And while I was recording him there must have been a smudge on the camera because it is always blurry and auto focusing so I have a horrible video.  So we were just going to leave because we were annoyed.  We get outside and I say “great, like the night wasn’t bad enough he now is going to miss Santa”.  

I stopped.  Why did he have to miss Santa.  We had nowhere to be.  We were just annoyed that things didn’t go as planned.  Henry could still have fun with his friends & see Santa.  So we went back in.  Henry had cookies and talked to his teachers and saw (the jankiest) Santa and HE HAD FUN!!  The joy on his face with Santa was like no other.  (be still my heart)

That is what matters, right?!  So I got a crappy video, I was there and saw HIM.  So he missed singing, he sings at home.  We then drove around and looked at Christmas lights and the night as a family wasn’t perfect or as planned…but it was also pretty darn awesome!

I am trying to accept that not everything is going to get done.  That not everything will be perfect or go as I planned.  That if I keep focusing on what I “need” to do I am going to miss the most important things.  If I keep trying to create memories I am going to miss the ones infront of me that happen all on their own.

I admit it is hard, but I am trying.  Tonight I am going home and making a list of what NEEDS done.  Ok, really…you can’t change everything about me.  This girl still needs her lists.  But I am trying. 

What is more important to me, a clean house or making a gingerbread house with my son?!  Getting out Christmas New Year Cards or curling up on the couch and watching Christmas movies with Henry?!  Planning a big meal for Christmas or playing in the snow with Henry?!  Um, no question….my son wins EVERY time. And those, those moments are where the memories are made.

THAT is what I need to focus on. The time spent with my family.  Of course, there are things that I can’t get around and need to do….but I also don’t need to make everything “perfect” or try to do it all. 

Sigh.

So how do YOU handle the holidays?!  Have you learned to relax and take it easy?  Are you crazy like me?!  Somewhere in the middle?  What do you do to relax and ENJOY this time of year?

(Yep, this is how I feel too little buddy.)

*I say most because there are other people who do make this time of year more stressful then it needs to be…but that is an entirely different and private post.  But we all know who those type of people are!

This Is My Brain.

Lately I feel like my brain is totally out of order.  

There is SO much going on inside that I cannot sort out my thoughts or what I need to do next.  Basically, I cannot FOCUS. 

I even have about 7 blog posts and can’t finish any of them.  Even writing this post, my brain is about 20 other places.

Between bills, holidays, work, finances, home, family, things I have to do, things I want to do, things I have forgotten but pretty sure I was suppose to do….my brain is a MESS! 

And I am the type of person when I feel overwhelmed and can’t focus then I stop and I don’t want to do anything and then BAM I will go crazy and try to accomplish everything at once.  For the record, I am currently still in the “I don’t want to do anything” phase.

I tried to write everything down and get organized....and then I lost the note pad.

Yep....THIS is my brain at the moment. (including the tiny little cowboy hat.)

Let me ask, how do you focus?  How do you sort through the clutter in your brain so you can think again and get stuff accomplished?! 

I think I need Peter Walsh, de-cluttering extraordinar, to get all up in my brain and organize it.

Henry, No. Henry, Stop That. Henry, Listen to Me. HENRY NO!

So let me preface, like any parent feels the need to do, by saying overall Henry is a really really GREAT child.  (Just wait for the but…) He is funny and laughs all the time.  (keep waiting…) He so incredibly sweet and will always usually give out hugs and kisses when asked. (wait for it….)  He LOVES to help and he is an awesome little helper.   BUT (oh, there it is) he doesn’t always listen and has a big temper when he doesn’t get his way. And while he does listen at times, this is a growing problem and the lack of listening is becoming more and more frequent.

Now, I am sure most parents of kids older than mine are saying “yeah, that is just a toddler. Why are you writing a long blog post for something that is normal?!”

Well, because I don’t know how to get my child TO listen.

I wrote a post awhile back that talked about multiple things, one being the frustration of extreme independence and not listening. HERE (#5)

As I mentioned in the post I feel like I am constantly saying NO.

Henry, NO.  Put that down! NO, Get away from that! DON’T touch that!! You will get hurt!  Don’t stand on that!  Don’t put that up your nose/in your ear! Henry, STOP IT!!!

I don’t know about any of you, but sometimes always feeling like the “bad guy” or saying “NO” all the time can wear on you a bit.  Though terry tells me to get use to it, it is part of being a parent, I just want him to listen more, especially with important things like running away from us, getting into stuff that is dangerous for a 2 year old, or doing things that are unsafe. (and believe me, Henry likes to do things that are unsafe)

Now that Henry has really started talking more (He is saying SO much and talking in sentences and actually trying to say words…WOOHOO!!!) his independence aka stubbornness is growing and he is not listening as much as he once was.  Everything, and I mean EV.ER.Y.THING. IS….NO.  ME. I DO IT. NO. MEMEMEMEME.   He is also big and can reach nearly everywhere and wants to touch and get into everything.  And he does stuff and gets into stuff even when I ask him to stop.

Henry, stop turning the lights on and off! (as he laughs)

Henry, put the phone down! (as he refuses to even look at me and proceeds to keep pushing buttons on the phone.)

Henry, do not stand on the table! (as he jumps and purposely falls into my arms when I go over to get him down.)

Henry, stop!  Get back here! (as he runs away and I am chasing him….which is a sight)

Henry, get out of the trash!  It is yucky!  (as he proceeds to pick out pieces of trash)

Henry, you need to listen!  Look at me and listen and play with this cool toy (as he ignores me and continues with what he is doing)

There is NO denying this child is stubborn, I mean look at his mom and dad, and extremely curious and into everything.  And while I want him to have independence and do things on his own, I also need him to listen.

Perhaps this is all normal and I just need to continue with what I am doing and he will grow out of it.  The "he will grow out of it" statement seems to be a common thing with kids.  

But I want to try to get him to listen better.

I have tried getting down on his level.  I have tried quietly saying “no” or “no thank you”.  I have tried explaining why he needs to listen.  I have tried time outs.  I have tried yelling.  I have tried ALL of the above at once just to stop him from doing one thing.  Sometimes after trying everything or saying NO 22 times he will stop (though goes back to it later).  And sometimes it takes me physically removing him from what he is doing, which means Baby Hulk comes out and Baby Hulk no like when I say NO.  Baby Hulk SMASH and hit mommy and fall to the ground screaming.

Obviously, we have some communication issues.

I totally get that he just turned two and that we need to teach him and reinforce good listening.  But HOW do I do that?!?! 

I think I just don’t know the best way to communicate with Henry.  T & I talk to Henry pretty much like we talk to each other.  I know I have had to get use to changing the inflection of my voice and trying to be quieter because I can be loud….Terry and I can be loud.  We get excited and talk loudly and laugh loudly and we forget sometimes and talk loudly to Henry.  So we are working on softer tones, not baby talk, but I more rhythmic talk for things that are good and a more stern tone with things that are bad.  But yeah….that doesn’t always work!!

Maybe I need to stick to one way to correct him….which is hard with two parents with two different styles and whom he listens to differently depending on which parent it is.  Maybe he is bored and just very very active and we need to bring in his focus on different things so he is constantly doing the productive stuff instead of getting into everything he shouldn't.  Maybe I need to teach him when to listen, though I don’t know how to do that!

Do you have a stubborn child who doesn’t listen?!?!  How do you communicate with your kids?  How do you get them to listen and focus?!

I have seriously started looking for books on Amazon, but lets be real....I won't read those ;-)

Talk to Me - Getting Older

I totally acknowledge this post may come off as vain or like I am complaining, even though I am trying to make it fairly light and funny.  However, I don’t know of any woman who likes the changes that happen to our bodies as we age and especially changes post kid.  And what is even more frustrating is men seem to get younger looking as they age which makes women look even more broke down as they get older even if that is NOT the case and they look great.  Feminist….back off!!  So I am not complaining (maybe a little) because I am OK with getting older, I am just not OK with looking the same age as my husband who is 7 years older and having more facial hair then my husband...

Ok Ladies (and men if any read this blog) let’s talk getting older.  Specifically, getting older and your look.

Now let me preface and say by NO MEANS do I think I am old, but I also think I am reaching the age where I can no longer deny the fact that I am getting older and things are changing and I am looking older.  My body is changing.  My look is changing.  I feel different and am noticing things I have never noticed before.  And the last time I went to the store I wasn’t carded and she just put in a random birthday, so there is that...

Now I never thought I was someone who cared about my appearance.  I very rarely wear make-up, I don’t use lotions and creams, I wear my hair up and messy about 96% of the time, my clothes…well you could say they are dated and ill fitting, I get a haircut once or twice a year, and if I don’t like the way I look I just don’t go out in public….which is OK with me. 

I mean honestly, it is too bad that What Not To Wear is ending because I probably could benefit from a makeover.  But I just have not put too much effort into my appearance, which I think can be good and bad.   I probably should have made a little more effort over the years, I just always felt uncomfortable with beauty and fashion.  Perhaps it was because for so much of my life I tried to go unnoticed by my peers, just blend into the background, that for me to wear makeup or fashionable clothing I feel like it would draw too much attention to myself and that makes me uncomfortable.  Though I totally get that by NOT doing those things I am also drawing attention to myself, but it is hard to argue with crazy person logic!!

So what does this have to do with changes in my look and getting older?!?!

Well, now that I am getting older I am finding it harder to continue the way I have all these years.  I am thinking I need help.  I need to hide stuff.  Cover things up.  

So what is changing, you ask.  Well let me tell you.

1. I am growing a beard.  Ok, maybe not like this…

….but I have so many little dark and light hairs on my chin.  I am going to be that lady that has one really long hair growing on her neck that I don’t see but everyone else sees it and stares at it and thinks “WHY WON’T SHE PLUCK IT” but they never say anything and it is the big elephant hair in the room that no one talks about.  UGH.

I am seriously obsessed with trying to pluck every hair and I feel like they are just multiplying and it is so frustrating.  I know that most people don’t get close enough to me to really see them, but I see them and know they are there and on really sunny days there is no hiding them.  Dim lighting is my friend.

2. I have been getting pimples. Yep, 33 and breaking out on my face and my back like I was 15 years old boy!!  I have been lucky that I have not had a huge problem with pimples in the past, but apparently now it is an issue.  Sure hormones and stress can be a cause, but it is just weird and annoying that now I am breaking out.

3. My skin.  Yes, in general my skin is changing.  It isn’t as taut as it once was.  It is blotchy and dull and just blah.  I have circles under my eyes the size of half dollars and my once wrinkle free forehead now contains a crevasse that I feel I could store my change in.  And just wait until the winter months….I will turn my head and half of my face will flake off!  Awesome.  

4. Hair.  Besides losing tons of hair on a daily basis, I am also the proud owner of grey hair.  After I had Henry I found my first grey hair.  I heard that happened post pregnancy so of course like any normal person I quickly pulled it out and denied that it even had happened.  And all was good.  Until this weekend when I saw this…..

Grey hairs!!!!  WTF?!?!  When did those get there?!  If having blotchy skin, pimples, and a beard wasn’t enough, now I have grey hairSSSS?!  I really thought that being grey free was the one thing I had going for me, the one thing that didn’t make me feel like I was getting older.  And then I was bitch slapped by a stray coarse grey hair and reminded that, yes Jenn, you are aging. 

5. Boobs. All I am going to say about this is that boobs post kid fuck’n SUCK.  Pardon my language, but your boobs should hit you in the face when you jump, not smack you in the vagina or rest comfortably on the post baby jelly belly you still have.  But I still have hope for this as I promised Terry that when we were in a better place financially I would get a boob lift and he can get a ball lift.  :-) So there is hope!!!

6. Body.  My body is just different.  Things are jiggling more and sagging more and clothes just fit weird.  And I just feel at this in between with clothes.  Like, what is appropriate and what doesn’t make me look old but what also doesn’t make me look like I am trying too hard or trying to look like my 25 year old sister.  I know working out would help some of this.  I will get on that.  

There is also just things creaking and snapping that shouldn’t make noise and haven’t in the past.  Or soreness that I have never had before.  Like today with the weather, I feel and sound like a 90 year old!  And don’t get me started on things happening below the belt.  That is just a hot mess.  Probably literally. Sigh.

Someone at work told me some of this could because I am off birth control and haven’t been on it for 4+ years and my hormones are just a crazy mess and that is what is causing some of these issues. WHAT, YOU THINK ME AND MY HORMONES ARE A CRAZY MESS?!?!  YOUR HORMONES ARE A CRAZY MESS!!! 

She may be right…..

And while she may be right and getting my hormones readjusted may help a little with some things, I think I have to face the reality that with each decade I enter things change and therefore I need to adjust. 

First adjustment is signing up for AARP and bingo night at the senior center Fridays at 6:30. 

Second is taking care of my skin. I have always said I need to do this, but just hate the feeling of anything on my face.  But it is more than apparent that I need something now.  I am looking at different lotions for my face. (What do you use?!?!)  I also think my first trip to a dermatologist may be good.

Third, I need to lose weight.  Mostly for health, but I also think if I can be happy with my weight I will be happier with my overall appearance.

As for my beard, well I am still trying to figure that one out….

I know that aging is inevitable and though it may not sound like it and this post has sounded totally vain, I think I am OK with getting older.  I am just not OK with all these things that seem to be showing up all at once that make me feel older than what I am.  I mean, can’t I just have ONE of these as a problem?!

Talk to me!!  This is the face of someone who needs advice!!  And some strong moisturizer.  And her bangs cut. And some concealer.

What do YOU do in regards to aging?  Deny it?  Use lots of lotions and potions?  Seek help from a witch doctor?  Use natural remedies?  Take lots of vitamins and supplements?  Stay indoors and avoid all mirrors or reflective services?! All of the above?

Talk to Me – Yes Ma’am

So I was just curious, what are your thoughts on getting called Ma’am?  Or in turn, calling others Ma’am?

This question was triggered by a few things. 

I first started thinking about it when I was watching an episode of Tia & Tamera (oh hell yeah I do) and Tia was throwing a fit complaining that she was called Ma’am. 

Then last week I went and got lunch and as the person handed me my sandwich he said “Here you go Ma’am.”

And then a girl I work with in her early 20’s (oh that age seems so far away) hates that another women older than her in the office calls her ma’am.

And on top of that Terry and I are constantly using Sir and Ma’am when talking to strangers.

It got me thinking, do women take offense to this?  Should only women of a certain age be called Ma’am?  What if it is someone my age? When is it appropriate vs not appropriate?

I can’t imagine men get offended being called Sir no matter what age, so why does it seem different for women?

What is the dealio – yo?!

Isn’t it just a term of respect you use when addressing other women?  That is what I was always taught.  Why has this turned into such a touchy word to be on the receiving end of?

I personally was not offended when I was called Ma’am at lunch, I thought it was very polite.  But I am not going to lie; there was a part of me that felt older.  And well, no one wants to feel older. But is it because I already had it on my mind from watching that episode that triggered it or was it my own thought of feeling old?!

I mean, IS THAT IT?!?!  We feel old when we are called Ma’am because that is how we have addressed adults when we were kids or how we address people older than us?!  And like I said, after a certain age we never want to feel older.

Definition of ma’am: Used as a form of polite address for a woman; short for madam: used as a title of respect, esp for female royalty

I like to consider myself a princess (that's for you mom & dad), so I shall be OK being called ma’am.  Well unless it is by some gorgeous 20 year old with perky boobs and great hair and she says it to me all valley girl like….then I will punch her (in my mind of course).

What are your thoughts? YAY or NAH on the Ma’am?!

NEEDED.

So last Thursday I took the day off.  I didn’t have anything special planned.  No, actually I took the day off because Henry was in school and Terry was working and I wanted to clean….you know since cleaning has been lacking the past few months.

It is probably a tad weird to WANT to take a day off just to clean.  I mean, really, how lame is that?!

But folks it was NEEDED.

And I don’t just mean for the house (though it was really really needed for the house) but I also mean for ME.

Explain, you ask?!

Well it is a good thing I have this blog….so let me ‘splain.

The thing is, I don’t think since Henry was born I have had an entire day ALONE.

Nope. 

And it is not just meaning away from Henry, but anyone really.  YES, it is true.  I need time away from my husband and child and friends.

I needed time to myself. 

So you know what, I took time for ME. 

But as I sit around the house most evenings, I didn’t want to take a day off to just sit around.  I wanted to DO stuff.  Feel accomplished.  Do the things that I am always complaining that I don’t have time to do.

So it started like a normal Thursday and I got up at 6am to get Henry ready and off to school.  I am learning that if I don’t want him to cry I have to drop him off after 7:30am because the kids are in the gym or outside playing and after some squeeze hugs he is ready to go play.  If it is before 7:30, then bring on the extreme tears from henry and extreme guilt for mom!  No fun for anyone.

So hoping I could prevent a breakdown and mom guilt on my day off I dropped him off at 7:35 and he went right outside, waving at me as I left.  PERFECT.  I then headed to Starbucks to get a venti-iced non-fat vanilla latte (yum) and tim hortons to get a breakfast bagel sandwich. 

I came home and sat down at the table and checked my email and had breakfast.  Funny thing was at first I was rushing to eat.  Do any of you parents do that?!  I have a post on that coming….eating once you have a kid.  Annoying.  So I slowed myself down and ENJOYED my breakfast and the quiet.

I then turned on my music really loud, got into my cleaning clothes, opened EVERY window in the house because it was a perfect day and not too hot (seriously, how awesome has this summer been!!!) and proceeded to clean the house.

I  took before pictures of the house on our real camera and as I probably wont get around to putting those on my computer for 7 months, I am using this photo I posted a couple months ago because this is pretty much our house 90% of the time. Sigh.

 This is my truth....our house is a constant mess.  

I think that is what people are saying these days :-)

So I picked things up and got down to business.

We had an old vacuum that I think did nothing more than push the dirt around as it pretended to clean.  Heaven forbid there was a cheerio or something on the carpet (which there always is) because the vacuum would refuse to suck it up.  We probably needed a new vacuum 3 years ago.  We finally got a new, reasonably priced one last week.  With the very first sweep I was in love!!

I could actually SEE it pick up the cat hair, dust and dirt.  I could see our beige/brown circa 1982 carpet!  AMAZING.

I swept the entire house and then it was time for the big guns.  The carpet cleaner.

 Hello lovelies! 

We own one, but only have used it when we bought the house (nearly 7 years ago) and the summer before Henry was born.  It was needed.

Folks….the result was gross.  Absolutely disgusting.  This was in our house.

 Ew.

You just don’t realize how much dirt and dust gets stuck in your carpet….especially with a vacuum that doesn’t vacuum!!

3 ½ hours later the entire house was vacuumed and the downstairs carpets cleaned and I was sore but feeling accomplished!!

 Me carpet cleaning from the rocker...not a bad way to clean :-)

I then took a break and enjoyed lunch where I could sit down and eat at my own pace and without dirty little fingers trying to steal my food.  And I watched the very first episode of the Real Housewives of OC and didn’t have to worry about having to explain why to my husband or getting judgmental looks from him or have to worry about content for Henry.

I then straightened up toys, clothes and cleaned the shower and then was the FIRST to take a nice long, uninterrupted shower in a clean shower. Lovely.

I then headed to Hobby Lobby and Walmart to get pictures printed and frames and before I knew it, it was 4:30 and time to go get Henry.

And I have to admit, when I drove over to get Henry I was excited to see him!

I wasn’t drained from annoying things at work.  I wasn’t tired from sitting all day.  I wasn’t worn-out at yelling at a kid who wouldn’t listen.  I wasn’t exhausted from just the mental stress of a normal day.

Nope.  I was none of those things.

Yes, I was tired from a busy day but I felt accomplished and refreshed and ready to see my family.  And really, what is better than after a day to yourself and seeing this face?!  The answer…nothing.

I know I will take off days to spend with my family or go to doctors appointments or take care of a sick kid or just random errands that have to be done during working hours.  But to take some time for ME is rare.  But I think I need to start doing this more.  I need to remember ME.  I need to remember that if I don’t take care of myself, mentally and physically, it just won’t be good for anyone.

So do you take time for yourself?  ALONE.  What do you do during your ME time?

Talk to Me – Letting Your Kids (Sort of) Be Free in Public

Let’s talk shopping/going to public places with a near two year old, shall we.

Preface: See the silliness, sweetness and innocence in this picture?!?! Well DON’T BE FOOLED!!!

Ok, Henry actually IS a very sweet boy.  Loves to snuggle, give out hugs and kisses, he always has a stuffed animal to squeeze on, wants to help around the house and do EVERY chore we do.  Seriously, a sweet boy.

However, he is also extremely ornery and full of energy and wants to get into EVERYTHING.

There is NO slowing down for this child.

And all this energy is now combined with a new sense of independence and eagerness to do everything on HIS own.

That brings me to my story.

...

So a week ago we went to the grocery store.  We went to put Henry in the cart and he was NOT having it.  Terry and I were trying to reason, then force, then bribe him to sit down in the cart but all was to no avail and ended with a 34 pound toddler clutching to me and screaming. 

The boy wanted to walk.

So walk it was.

I was a bit nervous at first.  I didn’t want us to be those parents with a near two year old running around the store, bumping into people, or grabbing everything off the shelf.  The visions of what could transpire scared me but as we had about a cup of milk, week old pasta, and random condiments in our fridge a shopping trip was necessary so we ventured on with a toddler “leading” the way.

We told him he HAD to hold onto the side of the cart and one of our hands and he could only take stuff off the shelf if we told him too.

And folks, he did.

Ok, ok….there was a slight distraction in the frozen food section with the rows of doors to open and all that cold stuff. AND in the cheese section where he went down the line and literally threw one of everything into the cart while Terry and I put them all mostly back.  (But it is cheese, so who can blame him.)

But overall he did REALLY well!  I mean really well...I was truly impressed and proud of him!!

And at one point, when his little legs needed a break, he asked to go in the cart.

Uh, YES you can go into the cart!!

So the last 15 minutes of the trip he was contained.  Awesome.

Now of course my fear is that he is going to want to keep doing this, being free to roam the store. 

I know, I know…..we started it. 

If both of us go it shouldn’t be an issue, but with one it just wouldn’t work as someone needs to keep their eye on and a firm grasp on that sneaky kid while the other shops.  Seriously, would NOT feel comfortable letting him roam with just me and him in a busy store.  I feel safer when he is in the cart.

And the same thing happened this weekend at the Zoo.  He was OK riding in his stroller at first and when he ate his snack, but soon the boy wanted to walk.  And honestly, we wanted him to walk…the purpose of a trip to the zoo is to get him tired for bed!  Can I get an amen, parents?!?!  

And he did pretty well.  There were only a couple times of fighting the hand holding, walking infront of someone, or asking to be picked up (which was not an option…ride or walk little dude) but overall he did well…..and fell asleep early at bedtime! Win, Win for everyone!

But now that he is exerting his independence more, it is becoming increasingly harder and more frustrating to keep him contained.  I know, we are the parents and we have the control.  But as you all know, when a kid is screaming/crying and fighting to not do something they don’t want to do that child suddenly turns into a baby hulk with extreme strength and supernatural like powers!!! 

And while we don’t give in all the time or very much, I feel like sometimes we also have to let them prove to us what they are capable and not capable of doing.  I know I am guilty of either thinking he is ready to do something when he is not or thinking he isn’t ready to do something and it turns out he is.  Three months ago, he was not capable or even willing to walk around on his own while also listening to us.  Now, he is.

The fact remains, he listened to us in both these situations.  He held our hand and thoroughly enjoyed being a “big boy” and helping us out and exploring.  Oh how he loves to help.  Had he not listened, he would be in the cart (or stroller) screaming or one of us would take him to the car.

Moving forward, I don’t know what to expect with him when we are at the store or out in a public setting.  Will he mind riding in the cart/stroller or want to walk?!  Will he be mad to be contained or mad that he has to walk?  Toddlers are totally unpredictable and just time bombs ready to go off at any moment because of any factor!!  I know that each outing could be different with different results.  The thing is I want him to be able to be independent and I also want him to learn how he is suppose to act in public, which includes learning our rules and boundaries that we have 

So let me ask you this, how do you handle your toddler in public places?  Do they always need to be contained/restrained in a cart or stroller?  Do you let them walk with you?  What are your rules? What do you do if they are fighting whatever situation you have them in?

And in all seriousness, what are your thoughts about a child on a leash?!?!

This still cracks me up!!  

P.S. the boy can unclip the seat belt in the cart and stroller. (I can hardly do that!) so even when we get him in, he can decide when to get out. Sigh.

Talk To Me - Bicycles and Stuff

I am looking for a bike and I think I found the bike I wanted...

Uh, a "good vibrations" bike....YES PLEASE!  It got a 5 star review. Yeah, i bet it did.  Yep, this will be MY bike.  I will be working out with a big smile on my face! :-)

Now that you are either laughing, confused or uncomfortable....let's move on, shall we.

....

This fascinating edition of "Talk To Me..." has two parts.  First, a bike for ME (besides the one above) and second, a bike for Henry.

I want to be able to go on bike rides with Henry, plus I think it would be fun and good exercise.

So let me ask, do you have a bike?  What kind/type?

My previous was a mountain bike and I LOVED it but looking around there are SO many options.  It is overwhelming, I just want a bike. Just not this one...

How about this, do you use a bike seat for your child like this one....

or a pull behind bike trailer/seat?

Either one safer than the other?  More convenient?

And how about a bike for Henry!

We are looking at one of these, a classic radio flyer tricycle.  I mean, come one how cool is that bike?!?!

But then didn't know for his age if something like this Fisher Price Grow With Me Tricycle would be better.

What age did your kids start riding a bike?  What kind of bike did they start with?

Thank you for your feedback!

Now excuse me, I think I am going on a special bike ride...

Talk To Me….Are Blogs Becoming a Thing of The Past?!

I don’t know exactly where I am going with this post or if there is even a point.  I think I am just “talking” out loud on the blog.  Opening the door for communication.

So for the past 2 ½ years or so, blogging for me has been low.  Between work and having Henry and random life stresses, things got in the way and my ability/desire/time/creativeness to blog decreased tremendously.  Sometimes I have wanted to be away from the blogs, but more often than not I just have been too wrapped up in myself and family and work and stresses to even compile an understandable blog post to write down.  Seriously, you should read some of the drafts I have saved; they make zero sense and are nothing more than random ramblings! (That should be my new blog!)  :-) 

I know for me the battle between finding time and finding something interesting to post about are a constant struggle.  (What, you are telling me you wouldn’t get bored seeing daily pictures of my child or cats?!?!)  I look back at some of my old blog posts and I thoroughly enjoyed writing them and thought they totally reflected me at that time in my life, and let’s be honest…..were  pretty darn funny!  Maybe it was because I knew there was an audience who “got me” or perhaps I just had more time or perhaps blogging was new and the only social media in my life and I just enjoyed it more.  But, after 7 years of blogging (first post July 25, 2006!!) I just feel a bit lost when it comes to blogging.  Besides the time and energy it takes that I am just not always as willing to give I have thoughts go through my head: “have I written all this before, are you tired of hearing my rants, tired of seeing my kid, is there anything new to talk about?!?!”

But it doesn’t seem like it is just me who has slowed down (or even stopped) blogging.  It seems like the frequency to which many of us post or comment has become less over the past couple years.  Sometimes a few days go by without a blog post, where as I recall in the past barely being able to keep up with all the bloggers and their posts!!

I know sometimes I will read posts but may not comment at the time or refuse to comment from my phone (loathe typing on my phone) and then just forget to comment.  Or I see that many people are not commenting so I don’t post anything new on my blog.  I think this is common for others.  I think when posts are low and comments received become less frequent, the motivation to post more decreases because let’s be honest…..while we do post some things for just ourselves, there are other posts we are writing to share and receive feedback and acknowledgement.

And I can’t help but wonder….is it just our age and the points we are at in our lives that has caused us to turn our attention away from blogging?!  For me personally, seven years ago (at the young age of 26) I didn’t have a kid, wasn’t married yet, didn’t have a house, wasn’t trying to balance a husband in school and work with my work, there were fewer additional stresses…..really life was centered around only myself.  And that is OK!  If I wanted to come home and nap after work I did.  If I wanted to blog I did.  I was a few years out of college, had a great job, new friends and was coming out of my shell.  I had plenty to say about everything!  Now, other things/people take up much of my time.  Even if a child wasn’t in the picture, I know I would still be giving more in other areas of my life and the motivation to blog would decrease.

So is it as simple as life just got busier for us when we got into our 30’s and that is why blogging has decreased?!  Or is it something else?

Many times I also wonder if people move on to other types of social media.  Blogging does require a bit more time and now there are many more avenues out there to be a part of and allow us to socialize with others.  So has the ease and quickness of things like twitter, facebook and instagram provided us with that instant communication and gratification from social media that we desire, without having to put the time into a long blog post. A “like” or a “heart” on a status or picture still provides both parties with that curiousness, sharing, and acknowledgement that we are looking for without asking others to make too much of a fuss and without us having to spend too much time posting it.

I know for me, I have started (reluctantly) moving to easier outlets (damn you instagram), especially when things get busy or I am on the go.  

But don’t get me wrong, I love blogging.  I love having this “journal” to look back on.  I like to be wordy (obviously) and I adore the relationships I have made through these blogs the past 7 years as well as the relationships that have continued to grow through the blogs.  I love not having status updates all the time, links to things I don't care about, pictures of things I am suppose to like if I care about others, people's political views (UGH).  

But sometimes, you still want the relationship and communication with those individuals without all the fuss.  And now that relationships have been made, communication outside of social media is happening and therefore maybe it isn’t always necessary to seek advice on the blogs when I can just send an email or get together.  The thing is, you KNOW these people now.  You may see them outside the internet in the real world!! You may even care for many of them and have a vested interest in their lives and family.  You have moved past the creepy stalker stage and the courting stage and truly have formed friendships with these people.  So because of that, maybe your only communication with them isn’t just on the blog now….like perhaps it was before and therefore the desire to blog as frequently has declined.

Or maybe…..Yes, I have lots of "maybe's".... 

Maybe sometimes we all just need to step away.  Perhaps because we DO put ourselves out there so much on blogs, instagram, twitter, facebook, LinkedIn, text messages, emails, and the tons of other things we get involved with that maybe something has to give.  Maybe at some point we STOP sharing so much and take pleasure in in our privacy.  Sometimes I just have to STEP AWAY from technology and social media.  Between sitting at a desk infront of a computer for 9 hours a day and then having a stupid smart phone, both that gives me easy access to the internet, I just constantly feel CONNECTED.  Connected to everyone and everything and what is going on with everyone that I “follow” every minute of every day.  And sometimes, I want to be disconnected.  I NEED to be disconnected.  I think it is too much for my brain….my brain actually feels like mush by the end of the week that by the time the weekend comes around I just want to be disconnected from everything and everyone!!   I feel a struggle between my urge to know what people are up to and the need to ignore it and focus on just myself, even if it is just for a little bit.

Or could it even possibly be as simple as the fact that I have grown and now my blog needs to grow and evolve and reflect who I am now and since it hasn't, that is why I feel a disconnect to it.

Perhaps the lack of blogging is a combination of everything. 

Perhaps it is none of the above and nothing more than the fact that blogging is a passing fad, and like all fads and many things in today’s society, they fade away when something newer comes along.

Perhaps this entire post was me just rambling because my brain has turned into mush from all the access I have to technology and people and knowledge and random information that I just need to write it all down in an attempt to reboot and make room in the jumbled mess that is my mind!

Perhaps it means I miss this blog.  That I miss blogging.  That I miss the interaction I have with friends and sharing my thoughts….as random as they may be. (I do miss blogging.)

Perhaps it is also the realization that I need to find a balance between technology, social media, and life that I seem to be lacking.  Something has to give.  I need to find the outlets that make me happy, but I don’t need to do it all nor stay connected all the time. 

Perhaps I should ask YOU what you think!!

Do you blog regularly? Comment regularly?  Do you find you have more/less/same amount of time to blog now than when you started?  Do you prefer other social media outlets over blogging?